1 week until the wedding and our church ceremony needs to be cancelled

That's odd they are making you get baptized again. My FH is converting to Catholicism and we are getting married in the Catholic Church but he just needs a certificate stating he has been baptized. They aren't going to make him do it again.

It's weird that he waited till a week before to tell you this. I was baptised at a baptist church and that took weeks since they required classes and the ceremony was only on Sundays. This pastor is obviously overstepping and I would take all of Celias advice. Sorry you have to go through this!

Everyone harshes on us non-religious folks for picking on Christianity, but we can't really do a better job than many so called Christians do of making their faith unwelcoming and unappealing. So sorry you are having to deal with this. Very ungenerous of both parties not to work towards some graceful accommodation.

I'm so sorry OP. This is ridiculous. Especially that another "man of God" can't understand and respect that you have already been baptized.

I'm so sorry this is happening so close to your wedding. I don't even know what to say other than stick to your guns and I think you and your dad have every right to be mad, for many reasons. Normally wedding stress isn't something to stick to your guns on everything type of event. But here I say stick to your guns!

I don't know that I would want to be part of a church that a) requires re-baptism and )b has people in power that seem deceptive and manipulative.

This is really a horrible predicament. I wonder, does the Pastor intend to charge an additional fee for the baptism service?

Note to all couples: Be very careful to do full diligence when selecting an officiant, especially when you're an interfaith couple. Some will drop very unfair demands on you if they are motivated by spreading their own faith more than helping you enter into your own marriage.

My advice: Bring the parents together at one table so that you and your future husband can explain to them that you need their help. This is your and your husband's wedding. Do they really want to skip their child's wedding?

If you need to explore a change to a neutral venue to bring in an outside officiant, you might want to check with your local fire hall. If they have the availability it might be the most economical option available.

Another option may be to have a very small ceremony at your home with immediate family and a neutral officiant, and have your guests join you for the reception at your designated location. That might not be ideal, but at least it would offer you a way to have both families present without having to live up to demands from someone who is more interested in their own agenda than your wedding.

The good news is this: You and your fiance will soon be married. One way or another you're going to marry the love of your life and regardless of whether anyone else approves or not you're going to have a lifetime of love an happiness together.

You know, as a Christian this just fries my fritters to a crisp. I would be asking your FFILs and their pastor to show you in Scripture where it says you must be baptized again. It's not there.

You have mentioned your feelings and those of your parents and FFILs, what does your FI have to say about all of this?

Has this changed your thoughts on joining this church?

I am so sorry you are going through this and I will keep you and your FI in my prayers that things will see a very quick resolution.

That's horrible... I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! A wedding is so stressful without everyone putting more stress on you. You should not have to get baptized again... I've never heard of that. Ugh parents can be so judgemental sometimes is there a place in your venue you can get married an hire a priest. There has to be a neutral ground for both ur parents an ur in laws

@Lori - It's not Christianity that's the problem here, it's the pastor at her FH's church with his crazy ideas.

Anyway, this is ridiculous. You REALLY shouldn't have to jump through so many hoops to get married at a church. Also, why would his parents even dream of not attending the wedding because of what religious building you hold it in??? FH's dad is a pastor as well, and I wouldn't dream of having anyone else marry us. I imagine you felt the same about your father until your FH's parents dropped that bomb. There are way to many unreasonable people involved in your wedding! I am so sorry you are dealing with this, especially at the last minute.

I am with other PPs who have said to get married at your church and just see if his parents are willing to be that selfish.

If it's FH's family church, then it's FH's family's problem. They should be going apeshit on the pastor for pulling this on you AT THE LAST MINUTE.

Not your problem. They're the ones who want you to marry in their church, let them figure out how to make it happen with their total dick of a pastor. If they don't handle it asap, make them cough up for an alternate venue.

I am going to say what I think (in no ways am I saying its fact, just an idea). I think the whole situation is probably caused by thinking about what religion any future children will be raised in. I bet the thought is that if you are baptized in your FH's church it is believed you will feel more closely tied to that religion and therefore your children will grow up in that same religion. It could also be why your FILs are adamant about their church being the church for the ceremony. While the pastor should have told you ahead of time about the baptism I think this comes down to the religion you expect to follow your whole life. (And if you plan to follow FH's religion you may have to make some concessions). Looking at the Seventh Day Adventist site, their baptism is a re-creation of Chris's death, burial and Resurrection while (according to a Pentecostal site), Pentecostal baptism is a profession of faith in Jesus Christ. I believe that the meaning behind the 2 is fundamentally different and could see why you have been requested to be baptized again.

Yeah, it would suck if kids were just raised to be good people. Even Christ centered ones of different flavors....because if they don't get it "right', hellzapoppin'.

I would also have it at your church and see if his parents are ready to miss their own kids wedding to preserve this twatwaffle's rules about how you can be good enough to be married there.

I agree with Emily your fmil and ffil need to either resolve this with their pastor or suck it up and go to your church cos their own are being completely ridiculous

Seems really odd this is coming up one week before the wedding. What kind of church IS this, anyway? My father is a very mainstream Protestant denomination pastor & says he's never heard of anything like this. I was even MOH at a wedding in a Catholic Church last year where my friend (non-Catholic, but baptized in another denomination & participated in all Catholic pre-wedding requirements) married a Catholic. She did not convert or be "re-baptized". Sounds sketchy. I agree with PP - get married in your dads church. If your IL's are that selfish that they'd miss their son's wedding, too bad for them.

I think it's time to step back and ask FH's pastor, what would Jesus do? He would perform the marriage regardless of where you were baptized. That's what my Presbyterian faith tells me. Is there anyway to explain in those terms? My father the pastor would absolutely cringe at this brand of Christianity. Reminds me of Dogma. "What God hates is all the shit that gets carried out in God's name."

Goodness, today has been a day full of religious craziness! PPs are right, this isn't a problem with religion in general, but it does demonstrate a problem I have with organized religion. I feel awful that this is happening to you so close to the big day. Could you choose a neutral location for the ceremony, and find a pastor to perform a religious ceremony for you, so you aren't using your church or FH's church? I hope you find something you are happy with soon!

This is the crux of the issue: "Now, my dad has said that I cannot get baptized again because it goes against our beliefs." If you are old enough to be married, you are old enough to tell dad that his opinion is nothing more than a suggestion. You can take it or leave it...and that's what you should do.

Sweetie, we aren't living in biblical times. Your father has no right -- absolutely none -- to tell you that you cannot be baptized again because it goes against "our" beliefs. He is absolutely entitled to his beliefs -- that's it. HIS beliefs. You are entitled to YOUR beliefs. Faith isn't present in an individual's life because of DNA or heredity...it's there because an individual made a choice. Maybe it's a little of this, a little of that, or a little of something the family wouldn't approve of.

Nothing bothers me more than the loud protests of parties who are guests -- even if they are VIPs -- inserting themselves into the lawful union between two consenting adults. Without getting into the particulars of Pentecostal doctrine vs. Seventh Day Adventist doctrine, I say -- do whatever you need to do to have the wedding you planned to have on March 6.

A wedding, in and of itself, is not the place for Pastor A to battle Pastor B when it comes to dogma or doctrine. Both men should be fathers -- gentlemen -- those guys clad in tuxes and bow ties wiping away tears during twenty of the most memorable moments of their lives. If they insist on making YOUR wedding a holy war, refuse to participate.

There has been plenty of time for this debate to hit the stage. A week before your wedding? Shame on both of them! Chide all of the holy men for raising their issues at the eleventh hour. Carry on, sweetie. At the end of the day, I can almost guarantee that all of these men will swallow it, attend, and keep their mouths shut. If you need to hire an officiant -- do so, but for the sake of your own identity, don't buy into this nonsense. You are not the pawn of either family -- you are your own person with your own beliefs. Do whatever you need to do to make your wedding happen on schedule -- without apology to a single individual (and remind all of them -- nobody gets into heaven because they're related to an adherent to a particular sect of whatever religion is on the table).

Good luck...and remember, faith is personal -- not hereditary.

I think Centerpiece Flowers has nailed the crux of the issue. Three parties are attempting to dictate YOUR beliefs, and that is wrong of ALL of them--your father, this pastor, and your future in-laws. You will eventually need to stand up to all of them.

The non-denominational chapel would have been the ideal option, but since your wedding is so close, you need to call bull on at least one of these parties. It'll probably cause you the fewest long-term problems to have that argument with the Seventh Day Adventist pastor since the other two are family, but if he won't budge, you're going to have to either let him re-baptize you and tell your dad to accept the reality of asshole humans and have the wedding there, or move the wedding to your dad's church and tell your in-laws to grow up.

How horrible! So sorry you are dealing with this!

This is not in reply to the OP, but for anyone looking for a rabbi or cantor to officiate/co-officate a ceremony, check out Interfaith Family:

http://www.interfaithfamily.com/jml/index.php?option=com_civicrm&view=Profiles&Itemid=62&rd=2

They have a form you can use to find a rabbi or cantor to officate or co-officiate your wedding.

If your father is a pastor, might he be willing to perform the ceremony at your reception location? And would your in-laws be okay with that, since it wouldn't be in his church?

I agree that there is no shortage of assholes in this situation, and that you should feel free to disregard any/all of them. But I also understand that you don't need more stress a week before your wedding.

Oh, and I know that "pre-martial counseling" is a typo. But in this situation, it seems oddly appropriate.