1 week until the wedding and our church ceremony needs to be cancelled

I feel like my only option is to cancel the religious ceremony and just have a judge go to the reception so that we can recite our vows there. That is totally not what I expected or wanted for my wedding since both FH and I are heavily involved at church....

He want you to be baptized again? That is bizarre. I have never, every heard of this...I was baptized catholic two million years ago, and when I started the ordination process with the UCC, they were just fine with it. You're baptized in the eyes of god, not the eyes of XYZ church. You don't need to be baptized again.

Are your sets of parents at odds usually? Can your dad speak to his pastor? Go over his head to the regional bishop or whoever oversees this AH? Because as someone pretty familiar with church systems, I think he's making it up as he goes along.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Having a civil ceremony may be the only way to go. My fiancé and I went through a similar situation because he's Jewish and I'm Catholic. My uncle (a priest and retired military chaplain) was willing to co-officiate, but we couldn't find a rabbi willing to do the same. In fact, a few of them called me some words I do not care to repeat and told me to go screw myself. My fiancé said "Screw it! Have your uncle do the whole thing!" My uncle will be performing our interfaith marriage as a military chaplain, so the state will recognize it, even if our religions don't. Sometimes, you have to do what's best for you and your fiancé rather than what your parents want.

You can absolutely have a religious ceremony done by an officiant or a freelance minister; I do these often, with varying degrees of religious language. I have a little religious ceremony I can send you, but I'm sure you can find someone that will do this for you.

If it's any consolation, many of my couples would have chosen a church but couldn't for various reasons. Their ceremonies included prayers, blessings, lots of God language and the traditional version of vows.

For officiants, check out Celebrant USA, American Association of Wedding Officiants (both are here I believe). A judge would probably be able to do a ceremony you'd be comfortable with, but I sense that you'd rather have a religious person.

I wouldn't back down quite yet though. I think his pastor is an asshat for doing this, and doing it now.

I agree with Celia. You shouldn't have to be baptized again.

Well this is happening at a Seventh Day Adventist church. My dad baptized me in a Pentecostal church. My dad refuses to talk to the pastor because he is veryyyyyyy upset. I honestly don't want to get baptized again. I don't see the point!!!! The church is telling that it is because I am accepting a new doctrine which is very similar to my original church. We are both from a Protestant Christian branch.

Jesus, religious people with power can suck big time, can't they? @Kaitlin and @Mrs, where are you located? I got rabbi friends, lol.....(and for the record Kaitlin? My rabbi colleague (someone here is using him) does duel officiant ceremonies ALL THE TIME. like every other weekend.

If you'd like my document with our wordings for the glass breaking (please do that), the intro to the chuppah (if you're doing that) and the seven blessings, just contact me. I also do THESE kinds of ceremonies all the time, and I bet your uncle would be happy to include some elements like these in your ceremony. It will be very meaningful to your FH's family, and interesting to yours.

Honestly, these are the kinds of BS behaviour that make people question their religions; NOT their faith in God, but their faith in these creepy little humans who feel that they are more qualified to tell you what God has in mind that your heart tells you.

Yeah. The only thing is that we are 6 days away and need to call/email everyone. I feel like some people from our church may not even attend anymore. All the RSVPs were in but now I feel like the numbers will change.

Jeez, being an atheist makes life so much easier. I'm sorry you're going through this, it's pretty cruel and unfair to you and your FH.

We looked into a wedding chapel that is non-denominational so that I could get married in a church and walk down the aisle but we cannot afford to cough up $2400 at this point in the game. All of our money has gone to the wedding.

Look, even though I'm an atheist I grew up Catholic. And if any of it is true, than God doesn't care where you get married. He just cares that you love each other and that you're living your lives the way he wants you to. Don't let either set of parents make this more difficult than it needs to be.

What a crappy thing to pull one week before the ceremony! He didn't feel the need to bring this up at any other point?! I agree with Celia, he's making it up as he goes. I wish I had a suggestion for you.

Churches can be real idiots/asses sometimes. My sister's church dropped my (disabled) mother's membership because she hadn't attended in six months after she moved. I think it's really because my sister was no longer able to pull 10% off her disability check every month and give it to them.

@OP, I don't know much about the Christian religion, but this seems crazy to me. It sounds like the pastor wants you to fully convert in order to get married there. I'm sorry this is happening so close to the wedding.

@Kaitlin, where are you located? Finding a rabbi to Co-officiate shouldn't be that hard. My brother got married in WI and had a Priest and a Rabbi. I'm getting married in NJ and am also having a Priest and a Rabbi officiate. I found a bunch of Rabbis willing to co-officiate in my area when I was looking. I searched by using interfaithfamily.com. They have an officiant search feature. Celia also recommended her friend to me, who is who we ended up going with.

It's your wedding and I feel like if others have a problem with switching church's that's their problem. If it's again your religious beliefs to get baptized again then don't do it just to make someone else happy. You may want them there but they're the ones who will be really missing out.

I feel like the only solution is if both sets of parents grow up and act like adults. Good luck, and sorry you're going thought this.

How in the world could they have let you book the church for the wedding without disclosing the requirements of being married there?! I would be livid at the very fact that they put you in this situation.

I agree with Celia. A Baptism can only really happen once....it's something between you and God, not you and church doctrine. In any case, this should have been brought up a lot early than a week before the wedding! Not to mention, you usually need to be Baptized before becoming an actual church member so if he didn't consider you baptized how could that have happened! Sounds like BS. Do what your heart tells you.

I agree with your father and all the other commenters. That is wrong for that church to not honor your baptism. I can't believe this information is coming out a week before your wedding after everything has been set.

That's insane that this church will not honor your baptism, and drops that bomb on your a week before your wedding! Tell this asshat pastor that you ARE baptized and were baptized in the eyes of God, so you are not being re-baptized.

ETA: Move the ceremony to your church. If your FH's parents miss their own son's wedding over this, its their loss. I think they are bullshitting you, and you should call their bluff.

I'm surprised that, with your dad being a pastor, it wasn't your original plan to get married in his church.

That being said, you've already been baptized. When you move to a different city or state, you find a new church and becoming a member there, you don't get baptized again. It's asinine for you FH's pastor to tell you to become a member you have to be baptized again.

Obviously, one side of the family is going to be upset, but this shouldn't fall on you. You and your FI should sit down and discuss what's most important, but at the end of the day, I'd tell that pastor to go to hell.