what is the grooms family financially responsible for
as parents of the groom i know we pay for the rehearsal dinner and the flowers but i'm not sure what else. didn't see anything on the website about it. i think we pay the church or the preacher but is there a set fee or do we just offer something and if so what is appropriate. any ideas where i can find info?

Married: 05/26/2012
Posted On: Nov 11, 2011 at 7:20 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 04/14/2012
Reviews: 5
Nov 11, 2011 at 7:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I thought traditionally they pay for alcahol too. I know My FMIL is paying for Rehearsal dinner, and alcahol for wedding.
& she learned recently that they do flowers as well, but I don't really think I'm gonna have flowers, except for my bouquet..


Hopefully other ladies on here have some imput.

Married: 10/15/2011
Reviews: 7
Nov 11, 2011 at 7:28 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Kathy, it is very nice and generous of you to contribute to the wedding financially. However, it's not mandatory. I suggest you think about what you can and would like to do, rather than looking for a list. Many people on here in fact finance their weddings without any contribution from anybody else.

Andrea
Married: 05/05/2012
Reviews: 6
Nov 11, 2011 at 7:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think that ettiquette states that the groom's family pays for different things from region to region. In some places, the groom's family pays for one thing. In others, they pay for something else. Now a days, more brides and grooms are paying for their own weddings. So the fact that you are even offering is very generous. Is it possible to sit down with everyone who will be contributing to the wedding to see what would be the best way to split everything up?

Julie
Married: 01/20/2012
Reviews: 1
Nov 11, 2011 at 9:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
i agree it is not required from groom's parents to pay for anything and the gesture of even wanting to means alot. I would either sit down with the bride and groom and discuss if there are any specifics you want to pay for or if you just want to give them a check/cash for whatever they need to use it for at the time. As much as I wold welcome my fh's parents to help, or even offer....no such thing has occurred. If the bride and groom decline any help from you dont take it personally, but be sure to be supportive and remind them that if they need they money, you are willing to help.

Honey B.
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Nov 11, 2011 at 10:03 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH's family is paying for the rehearsal dinner and beer & soda at the reception.

Meghan
Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Nov 11, 2011 at 10:19 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
In today's society, it is the couple's responsibility to pay for the entire wedding and all surrounding events. It is very generous of the parents to assist. I'd suggest just looking at what you can and are willing to contribute, and just write them a check (or pay deposits on the venue or pay the photographer or whoever directly) for what you can contribute.

KKCB
Married: 08/10/2012
Nov 11, 2011 at 10:23 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH's parents aren't paying for anything. That's very generous of you to help out your son and future daughter-in-law, but don't feel like you HAVE to. It's their wedding.

Married: 12/10/2011
Nov 11, 2011 at 11:10 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FIL's are paying for the rehearsal dinner, gave us $1000 and bought 2 cases of win for the reception.

Married: 09/14/2013
Nov 11, 2011 at 11:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Nothing. It is the bride and grooms choice to get married, therefore they are financially responsible for everything. If you want to contribute towards the wedding, either with a set dollar amount or by picking certain things to pay for that's entirely up to you, and don't be restricted by what is traditional.

Tiffany
Married: 06/02/2012
Reviews: 1
Nov 12, 2011 at 1:10 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Wow. I haven't seen too many FIL's on here ready to chip in on the wedding expenses. That is definitely commendable. Your son and FDIL will appreciate your willingness to help.

Married: 07/24/2011
Nov 12, 2011 at 1:15 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Traditionally, it is the rehearsal dinner, alcohol and soda, the officant fee and marriage license. But nowadays, bride and grooms pay almost everything themselves. But for my wedding, we had my MIL and FIL to pay for the rabbi and they gave us $4,000 to work with. Families do it differently depending on each indivdual's preference.

Married: 10/06/2012
Nov 12, 2011 at 3:30 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
i think it definately depends on where you are from. around here, its basically the brides family pays for some and the grooms family contributes however they can. my FH and i have paid for flowers so far and thats about it. many of my friends had the same thing happened. her FIL payed for the dj. MIL paid for flowers and 1/2 of tent for reception, her dad paid the other 1/2. they paid for food. her mom paid for her dress. we paid for our BM dresses. my FIL is renting our generator for the reception. my parents are paying for my dress and helping with the BM dresses. FMIL is helping however she can. around here though, most weddings dont cost over $5K so i think its def regional.

Married: 2+ years ago
Nov 12, 2011 at 4:36 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
The groom's family is really "responsible" for nothing whatsoever. They are simply guests at the wedding, the bride or (more traditionally) her closest kinswoman being the hostess. You do have the *right* to host the rehearsal dinner if you want to, as it is only fair that the bride's mother not get all the glory.

The groom himself -- not his family -- is responsible for all the things that a husband was traditionally responsible for: paying for professional services provided to his family (hence, he pays the clergyman's fee -- the pastor will tell him how much), day-to-day expenses for his family (hence he pays the travel, lodging, and meals for the honeymoon), and sending flowers to his lady (hence he provides the bride's bouquet). A smart groom also sends flowers to his mother (since she is still his closest lady for the few remaining minutes until he says "I do") and to his mother-in-law.

Floral decorations, and flowers for the bridesmaids, are the hostess's problem, not yours.

Anonymous
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 2
Nov 12, 2011 at 7:37 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
From what I have heard, they are traditionally resposible for alcohol and the rehersal dinner.

It's very nice of you to want to help with the wedding:)
Nov 12, 2011 at 7:41 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
No responsibility any more.....it's all carved up based on who has what to contribute. It's very very sweet (and I"m sure much appreciated) that you're going to financially help; the rehearsal dinner is one contribution that I see very regularly.

I do loe Aspasia's idea of the groom sending his mother and mother in law flowers. That is a beautiful idea.

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 6
Nov 12, 2011 at 9:24 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Traditionally, rehearsal dinner, maybe flower, but those traditions really don't apply anymore. However, it is very sweet, generous, and (I'm sure) appreciated for family members to help with what they can and wish to.

Married: 03/03/2012
Reviews: 6
Nov 12, 2011 at 9:28 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yep, ditto what the others said. My hubby's family is not paying for anything. But it is very generous for you to offer and I'm sure they will really appreciate your help!

Married: 05/26/2012
Nov 12, 2011 at 6:15 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
thank you all so much. i didn't realize things had changed so much. guess i'm old school and used to following traditions, can't imagine any couple starting out being able to afford a large wedding on their own. good luck to all of you, and thanks again

Tink
Married: 07/22/2012
Reviews: 5
Nov 12, 2011 at 6:49 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Nothing

Married: 10/09/2011
Reviews: 11
Nov 12, 2011 at 7:12 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
his family did nothing. we were lucky they showed up to the wedding (although all did not show up and none sent in their RSPV)
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