3 Reasons First Looks Wedding Photos Aren't For Everyone....

Hey hey hey LadyMonk got a shout out! We aren't doing a first look either basically for all the reasons in this article.

We're doing it for a few reasons

I want to see my FH reaction to just me without hundreds of eyes on us. It would be nice to have a few minutes just the two of us versus surrounded by family and friends like the rest of the day.

I've been dying to show my FH my dress so pushing it up a few hours early makes me happy

It gives us more time for photos prior to ceremony so that we can get some great sunset photos between ceremony and reception during cocktail hour.

I hate this article (and that's not a surprise since I normally hate HP too....) It was posted on the pro forum this morning, and this is the response I wrote.

"The day that I use any article in the Huffington Post as wedding gospel is the day I quit this business. And the sensational headline doesn't help either, except to dissuade couples from doing the logical thing; a first look.

Almost all of my couples do a first look. They want to be with their guests at cocktail hour;(and with reception pricing running in the tens of thousands of dollars, they want to experience that themselves). They want their photos to be done when their flowers/makeup/hair/clothing are the most pristine and fresh. They don't want to be rushed because their photos are important and expensive. They want their 'first look' to be between just them and they don't want to spend the day separated. They don't want to be chasing sunlight at their autumn evening weddings. As a lovely bonus, a 'first look' can serve to get the rest of the bridal party there on time, which is very useful for the rest of us who are continually trying to keep things running on time. And when that bride (or groom) walks down the aisle, I can tell you (because I'm right there) the impact is emotional and significant; it's not like, "Oh well, I saw this already...yawn."

In our times, nothing is more manipulative than the 'virgin' bride, walking down the aisle to be 'given away' to her new husband; the whole construct of a typical wedding is based on a charming but antiquated premise. Pulling this element out and holding it up as an example of etiquette gone wrong is just folly, no matter how useful it is for content creation. I haven't heard of a dowry in a very long time but that's an issue that the HP hasn't investigated yet."

I'm glad that one of my colleagues got published and I hope they reap clients from the exposure, but I couldn't disagree with the article more.

It's your wedding and you can absolutely do what you want regarding first looks, but first looks are not 'stupid' and it's insulting to every couple who picks them.

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I didn't think about it from that perspective. I've seen some sweet photos but after reading that, I can see how it may not be as candid.

I've gone back and forth. I kinda want to get our photos done before the ceremony just so our guests aren't waiting so long, but then I also want to share that first look moment with everyone.

Spot on. We aren't doing one either. I think that with the skyrocketing prices in photography, people are almost forced to get as much time for pictures as possible to get their money's worth...introducing the first look.

@Celia, I adore you. You stated perfectly ALL the reasons we've decided (and are very confident about) to do a first look. That, and the fact that we both hate being up in front of people so adding the stress of us seeing each other for the first time just seems painful.

I refuse to read the article because I know it'll make me angry. Just going to stick to our choice and not care what anyone else thinks

I'm not doing a first look because I've always dreamed of seeing his reaction as I walk down the aisle

We are doing a first touch. We will stand on two sides of a door way and hold hands

I think it is perfectly cool if you don't want to do a first look..it isn't for everyone...as you said! I will be doing a first look because it makes taking the other photos earlier in the day easier...and honestly my FH will do better with the event if he has seen me. I don't think it takes away from the moment of walking down the aisle (any more than him being married 1 before does). Anywhoo...it works for us...glad you figured out it doesn't work for you and that you are opting out.

We are doing one because:

1) We are very private people so we want this moment to be between us and not the 250 people we invited. Besides, when I walk in the excitement is going to be high for everyone because THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING! It won't take away that moment.

2) I have extremely bad social anxiety and my family stresses me out so it will help me calm down a little bit before walking down the aisle

3) We'll have more time to take our family pictures after the ceremony without having to make our guests wait FOREVER for us to get BP pictures, too

ETA: Oh yeah, I guess he will get a few surprises other than the first look because I will be changing into a Thai wedding dress that he will have never seen me in so he'll have that reaction and then I have a Vietnamese wedding dress, too, but that may have to wait for the morning after because I'm not sure it'll fit in timewise.

We are doing a first look to help FH's nerves. He is so afraid of showing emotion to anyone other than me and he knows he's going to cry the first time he sees me. Having a first look will help him to relax knowing that he'll more than likely be able to keep it together a lot better than if he were to see me for the first time coming down the aisle.

But yeah, first looks aren't for everyone...different strokes for different folks kids!! ;-)

We aren't doing one either. I never even knew that "first looks" was a thing for the longest time! It's just in our culture to only see each other that day at the church ceremony when he sees me walk down the aisle for the first time. I have always that part documented in a photo and the video to see what his reaction is seeing me for the first time in a wedding dress.

@Celia, I know the writing industry and I have to mention that the writer of that article probably didn't use that title. The title was probably manipulated by the editors in order to get more readers. I know that happened to a friend of mine who wrote a piece.

I suppose we are a little more realistic rather than romantic. We didn't choose to see each other before the wedding to do a first look - it was more to just get that part done with and enjoy our whole day together instead of waiting until 3 pm to see each other. Also, I don't really buy into the idea that the first time we see each other is the whole point of the wedding, or that it is somehow the most important moment.

Essentially, we're seeing each other dressed up in suits, dresses and makeup, but whether "first look" or "aisle look," we're seeing each other. I believe we'll look at each other with the same love and awe during every poignant moment of the day. I also think this term "first look" is pretty new and actually seeing each other before walking down the aisle has been happening for years.

We did a first look because we wanted a private moment between just us two. We also read our personal vows privately to each other. This was done at the hotel we stayed at which was also the same place we got engaged at one year earlier so we wanted some photos there. It gave us time to talk to each other for a few minutes about our emotions and feelings instead of when we were at the front of the aisle not being able to speak to each other.

His reaction was real and genuine ( he cried). It did not take away from him seeing me walk down the aisle. I walked halfway down by myself and he met me halfway. We helped our officiant with the scripted ceremony so it was different than our vows but still reflected us as a couple. We still teared up during the ceremony but it allowed us to get all of our crying our before so we still had some nice photos of us going down the isle without being an emotional wreck.

We are doing a first look to get majority of the photos done, since one hour (cocktail hour) is not enough time to get all the photos we want. Thing is FH does not know I have 2 dresses, so I am going to wear the first one for the first look. When I am walking down the aisle, I will surprise him with the 2nd dress, and the 2nd dress is stunning, so I am sure I will get a reaction from him.

If tha makeup gets smudged? Who cares. We'll just fix it. Lol.

I am looking forward to our first look: first, i want to see him right before. I want to kiss and hold him and be care free for just a moment.

It also serves another great purpose. We only get 5 hours at our venue from the start of the ceromony, to the send off. I want LOTS of pictures of us and our attendents. I also dont want to spend some of our precious short time on getting those photos. I want to dance! I want to eat! I want to see my out of town friends! The more photos we can get out of the way before hand the better!

We did one-- it was a nice, quiet time on an otherwise hectic day. Also, although I didn't have any problems, our photog pointed out your outfit can get ruined in a heartbeat, and this is a chance to get pics before anyone smears makeup on it. To each her own, however-- there are good reasons on both sides.

We are doing a first look because I want that moment with just my fiancé, not everyone else staring at us. I want us to not feel any pressure, be able to laugh and smile with each other. I want to get some beautiful pictures I probably otherwise wouldn't be able to get. I want some reassurance for walking down that aisle not wanting to shit my pants because I'm so scared. Those are just a few reasons.

Although I agree with this article 100% and am definitely Team No-first-look I still get why other people like them... I would just never do one