Married ladies: Name change-keep maiden or middle?

First-congrats on the being married for 100 days!

He will get used to it. I doubt it will ever really get used, and just kinda..be there.

I'm keeping my middle-dropping my last name (and taking his).

My FH is THRILLED! He was married once before and his ex REFUSED to take his name (something about her identity..blah..blah..blah...). I have no real attachment to my last name so it was no big deal for me.

When we went to get our license a couple of months ago (officially putting it on the record that I was changing it) he was grinning from ear to ear. It makes me happy that he actually cares about that stuff.

For me, it was very important to DH that I take his last name. I didn't really give a hoot (as bad as that sounds!) because I have never been attached to my last name. I guess I always just assumed I would change my last name when I got married. So for me, the choice was easy. I got rid of my maiden name and and took DH's last name. It made him so happy when I officially changed it.

The process is a PITA.

DH didn't want me to hyphenate or move it to my middle name WITH my other middle name but supported me and understood it was my decision.

I bumped my maiden name to my middle name ... so now I have 2 middle names.

It was very difficult for me to loose my maiden name...partly b/c I own a business that I started, before I met my husband, in my maiden name. I'm thankful I did that b/c there have been a couple times where it came in handy to have my maiden name right there on my DL.

Actually, I had never heard of making your maiden name your middle name and then taking his last name before I joined WW. Everyone I've known to get married just loses their maiden name and takes his. I wonder if it's a cultural/regional thing.

What I've learned is that its a regional thing. From what I can tell, in the south, most women drop their middle names and take their maiden name as their middle name. When I speak to people up North, this is not the case.

I think I'm more attached to my maiden name than I thought. 3 reasons: 1. its a really uncommon name, 2. my father just died, and 3. he (nor any of his brothers) had any natural born sons.

Where I live thats not generally what happens. Here you take your husbands last name plain and simple. My FH would look at me weird if I read him posts about name changes. I do agree Its up to you and Im not saying anyone is wrong for it! Its just trandition here to take FH name.

Hey Farmers wife, where do you live? 90% of the women I know dropped middle names and took maiden as middle. I was shocked when I learned everyone didn't do this.

@Cavan...the only reason I did that was b/c of my business AND my mom had done the same thing when she married my dad...her maiden name is now her middle name.

My mother is 82 years old, treats "feminist" like it was a dirty word, and kept her maiden name as her middle name when she got married. I'd never known until WW that there were women who didn't keep their maiden names at least as a middle name.

Of course, my own view is that if you don't get to choose his name, he doesn't get to choose yours.

I thought it was at least a common practice, if not standard, to keep the maiden name as a middle name and take his last name. At least half the married women I know who changed their names did that. The rest *myself included* just took his last name instead of our own.

As someone who has lived in both the North and the South, I think it is very much a regional thing! Obviously there are exceptions in both places, but I have seen it much more common in the South to keep the maiden name as a middle name. That being said, I am dropping mine. I love my middle name - it has been passed down on my mother's side for a long time - and I have no real feelings on my last name. So I will be completely dropping my last name.

I dropped my maiden name since its long...to long to keep as a middle name

I had never heard of moving your maiden to your middle until I met a friend a work who did this. Kinda thought it was odd. Everyone I've known has always dropped their last name for his and kept their birth middle name.

That is what I am doing. I am proud of my family and background but I love my middle name and do not wish to part with it. So my middle name will stay the same and I will be getting a new last name!

I have only heard of a very few times where a woman has changed her middle name to her maiden name. Most of the time the women change it completely or hypenate it. Im changing my last name. My parents did not get married until I was 7 so I had my moms last name. She hypenated hers. I was given the choice when I became old enough to make my own decision about which parents last name I would take. I kept my mom's because I had it all that time and knew I would be changing it when I got married. I feel that your last name is not really your "identity" especially when you are getting married. At that point you are becoming "One" family. Your not loosing ownership of yourself, your are gaining your very own family to live and grow with. I love my family and respect where I came from but I love my FH and cannot wait to have our "own" family.

I struggled with this as well. Some ladies gave me a lot of grief for not wanting to change my name. In the end I am changing my last name but still keeping my other names.

There has to be a middle ground and a little compromise. On both ends.

I was never too attached to my last name but I still wanted to keep it and then I told FH about hyphenating it and he was not happy with that at all so chances are I will just drop it and take his last name - not a big deal to me!

I am going to take FH's last name and drop my maiden name. I love my middle name too much to lose it, plus I am excited to take FH's name!

I just changed my name officially today. I did not want to part with my last name but it was very important to DH that I take his last name and he was also against hyphenating (which was my top choice to begin with). So I moved my maiden name to my middle name but also kept my other middle name. This wasn't exactly what he would've wanted, but he understood and supported my decision. No one in my family has ever done that before, they've all just dropped their maiden names, but they all married very young. I feel that the older and more accomplished you are, the harder it is to give up your last name. In the end, I'm happy to take his last name but I'm also happy I didn't completely lose my maiden name.

Never heard of dropping your middle name and adding your maiden name as your middle name until just reading this post...LOL And Im nearly 50 yrs old!!! I live in the Washington State no one I know has ever done that. I will drop my last name since its my ex husbands name lol!!! I can't wait to take my fiances name

So Interesting to hear that some people have never heard of it.