How do you say NO!!!

I have limited what I post on FB because EVERYTIME I get inquires about if they are invited or people asking why they havent received an invite yet. 1st of all, its no where near December! LOL

Anyway, I ignore the posts. Since it is your cousin...I would give her a similiar answer to what we are posting on our website...Due to the budget/venue lmitations blah blah...we are inviting very close family and friends.

I just think its very tacky to ASK for an invite. It boils my blood.

You find this article helpful:

http://offbeatbride.com/2011/09/tell-people-theyre-not-invited-to-wedding

"Since we are paying for the wedding ourselves, our budget is very limited. It's SO hard not to go into debt over this, because of course we want to invite everyone… but we're really trying to kick off our marriage by being financially responsible about the wedding."

"There are so many people we would love to have been able to invite, but we're trying to keep our wedding small. It means so much to me that you're interested, and I sooo wish I could have everyone there with us!"

"Our venue has a limited number of people they'll allow, and our guestlist is primarily taken up by very close family and the wedding party. I hope you can understand how difficult this process has been for us — there are so many people we wish could be there with us."

FH and I went to a party Saturday and everyone was talking about the STDs.. we felt awful when two people who we forgot to invite asked when we sent them out. The problem is we only wanted 150 people and we are already around 200 ppl invited. Why can't money grow on trees? It'd be so much easier.

I'm confused, why isn't your cousin invited? i know that this isn't the point but unless you are really having only very close friends and family I don't see why a cousin wouldn't be invited. But i digress. It's your wedding. But even if I hadn't seen heard from or talked to a cousin in years (which i haven't) I would still expect to be invited to their wedding, and i am inviting them to my wedding. I can see why a cousin would have their feelings hurt.

We just tell them that we're having a small wedding and it usually ends the conversation. FH's Grandma called over the weekend to ask for an extra STD for Cousin Sharon (FH doesn't know her) because she called & wanted to know why she didn't get one. TACKY!

I personally don't agree with inviting everyone just because they are family. If that was the case, between FH and I we would have well over 2000 people. Impossible. Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, and any other relatives that I barely know or rarely talk to aren't being invited. Most people invite their closest family and friends. IMO

Im not inviting my uncle/god father and several cousins to my wedding. I told my parents it's my wedding, not a family reunion. To each their own.

Well she wasn't invited because everytime she is invited to things she doesn't show up and I've learned that a lot of ppl just want to feel special and say they got an invite and not even come...and I really don't have time for that. Yes, she's my cousin but until this message I havent talked to her in years and we r n the same state and since we r limited to 100 ppl FH and I agreed that if we haven't talked to them in a while and didn't care if they came then its a no....its a hard decision but since we are paying we are not trying to go into debt because we r trying to be nice to everyone. Also she's married and I didn't get an invite....but I never said anything about it because I understand about budget and its not just my family who gets invited.

Devin and Dawn thats exactly how I feel!!! Just because your family doesn't mean you automatically get an invite if I haven't seen you in years!!!

My dad is one of 10 and on his side ALONE there are 54 cousins. There is no way we could invite all of my first cousins & their spouses. My FH's mom is one of 14!! The number of cousins on that side is CRAZY!! I totally understand not inviting one that you are not exceptionally close with.

I keep getting the, "When is the wedding?" "I better get an invite!" Quite honestly I've told people that since me and fh are paying for everything out of pocket, we are having a much smaller wedding. I know a lot of my family is upset, but the only person who has financially helped has been my mom. I tell people all of the time that I'm sorry, we just cannot afford extra guests at this time.

The bad thing is we know a lot of people and its been so hard. I've stayed very hush hush about the wedding and do not post about it on fb.

My FH and I have also taken to blaming each other: "Oh, we're trying to keep the guest list small and he (she) has such a big family!"

It is very hard to say no But we invited who we really wanted to be there.

Hmm, maybe we just come from different family cultures. Plus- my dad is one of 5 and my mom is one of three.

I;ve had the same problem! Just be honest with your cousin. Weddings are expensive and you can't invite everyone. After you tell them that I would hope they would understand. Sadly a lot of people only want to come to a wedding for the party and the free booze...

@ berts girl, I'm in the same boat!! good way to put it!

I have just told people that this is my second wedding and my FH second marriage (courthouse no reception for his first) and we are keeping it small. Then I change the subject

First, try to not post all the details on your facebook pages if you have friends on there that won't be invited to the wedding.

You can tell them you venue is small and won't accomomdate everyone you'd like.

FH's mom keeps telling him how badly a few of his cousins want to come to the wedding and I've had to tell him he needs to buck up and tell his mom absolutely not. We are only having our parents, siblings, godparents and our wedding party. That's it. We cannot invite just one or two cousins or all of the others will want to know why they weren't invited. FH's mom is one of 14 and his dad is one of 9. Including spouses for the ones who are married and FH has about 30 aunts and uncles. They all have an average of 3-5 (grown) children. And those 40-60 cousins are already having children. And this is *JUST* FH's family. I don't have a large family at all, but seriously. We are having a bbq at his mom's the weekend following the wedding and we're having a bbq in my hometown in August. People just don't get it. I blame FH's sister who is getting married a month before us and has 600 people on her guest list. They just don't understand that we aren't all rich or have parents to pay for it.