Co-Workers Threw Me a Surprise Bridal Shower, But Aren't Invited to Wedding

My coworkers are doing the same thing and they aren't invited. Just make sure you give them really nice thank you gifts and cards!

I know the feeling; my co-workers at this new job are pulling together and doing something for me. I went ahead and added the organizer to my guest list (I knew her years ago at another law firm so it made more sense). I know the whole office can't take Friday off for my wedding (it's in the morning), so I think I'll be ok.

But I think since they know they aren't invited at this late date, you are A-OK

I am sure with invites gone out and your wedding day so close they already know that they aren't invited but wanted to do something nice for you anyway. But if the cat gets out of the bag that two were invited and the others were not, there may be bitter feelings. Get them all a nice personalized thank you card.

It's fine and fairly common. Pretty much everywhere I have worked throws showers for coworkers even if they aren't invited.

Just write each of them a thank you note.

OK you all made me feel better

I am definitely getting them super cute Thank You cards.

What type of thank you gift do you recommend @Syd J.?

Would it be rude to give them one of the Wedding Favors as well after the Wedding?The favor is a mix CD of our favorite songs--professionally done.

The office bridal shower is totally free from the "must be invited to the wedding" rule. You're fine! Just keep the wedding talk to a minimum at the office and maybe ask the two invitees not to bring it up at work.

I don't think you have to give everybody a thank you gift - you could just write each person a note thanking them for their gift, get something small for the organizer, or maybe even order pizza for lunch or bring in coffee and bagels one morning for everyone? At my old office you could basically win everybody over with food.

The same thing happened to me! My boss threw me a surprise bridal shower in our Board Room and everyone was there - men & women! They served cake and ice cream and had a PowerPoint of my engagement pictures on the big screen! (EMBARRASSING!)

Of the 35 people on our side of the office, I'm only close to one person and that isn't my boss. It's the person who got me the job and was my shoe-in - and he was the only one invited!

They got me two gift cards of generous amounts each - totally unexpected. I felt bad that not even my boss who threw the shower was invited ]:

I ended up waiting until after the wedding to send a mass e-mail to everyone with a big "Thank you" and a photo collage of the wedding. At first I thought it would be a slap-in-the-face to send wedding photos since only 1 person was invited, but everyone kept asking for pictures and I sort of got the hint that they all understood (that or they simply didn't care they weren't invited LOL) [:

HTH!

It's actually pretty common. I'd make sure and send them all thank you cards- preferably to their homes if you can.

Just tell them that the wedding is a very small event with a few friends and family.

Happens all the time; it did for me! I would write them really nice thank you notes. How great!

No one is doing anything for me, but I also work with about 30 people, and have only invited 2 to my wedding--my office mate, who's a good friend, and one person that has become a "family friend" as our children grew up together and we have always attended each other's events as families. I feel awful that I can't invite more, but space and budget just won't allow it. I didn't even invite my three bosses, who just happen to be brothers.

Today one of my co-workers let it slip that they are planning something and I was kinda concerned too.

The 3 people on my crew all know that I cannot just invite them so I have honestly told them all (if they ask about it) that the whole department is on my B-list, so IF I get 16 NO RSVPs everyone is invited, otherwise no one....

I think bringing in donuts or bagels would be a nice gesture. And get the organizer a nice mug and Starbucks gift card (or something similar if they don't drink coffee).

Personally, if it was me - I would invite them anyways b/c I don't believe 5 extra ppl will break the budget. This type of thing happening is EXACTLY why I didn't tell everyone in my office about my wedding...the only ppl who knows about it are the ppl who I personally invited.

I think that is really nice they thought enough about you to throw you a party, but I think a thank you note is sufficent.

I'm assuming that, since your wedding is only 23 days away and they haven't received an invite, they know they aren't invited. And since they threw you a shower anyway, I would say there's no hard feelings. I'd send them all a fantastic thank you card and just enjoy their generosity.

I have friends of a friend that was brought to my shower that I did not invite., but they arent invited to the wedding either. I just send the a very nice thank you card.

At our office it's pretty common that the 25-or-so of us chip in on a bigger ticket registry item, even though we don't all attend each other's weddings.

I think a nice thank you card and maybe a postcard from your honeymoon would be an appropriate response, no invite necessary.