Bridal shower, invite guests not invited to wedding? Bad form?
Please help. I need advice. Tim and I are having a smaller wedding with mainly only family invited. Is it bad form to invite the friends that I can't invite to the wedding to the bridal shower, or bachelorette party. I still want to have them as part of the process, I just can't afford a bigger wedding. We are not real traditional.i wish my friends could be there for all of it.

Married: 06/03/2012
Reviews: 5
Posted On: Jan 14, 2012 at 1:44 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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2d Bride ®
Married: 10/06/2009
Reviews: 12
Jan 14, 2012 at 1:50 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yes, it is considered bad form to invite people to a prewedding party if they are not invited to the wedding.

Carrie
Married: 2+ years ago
Jan 14, 2012 at 2:04 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
yes, showers are a gift giving party. It's kind of rude to requests gifts but can't afford to include them in the day it self.

krisalicious
Married: 04/28/2012
Jan 14, 2012 at 2:05 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
The only exception is a shower that's thrown for you at work. But aside from that- these ladies are right on. Anyone invited to an engagement party, shower or bachelor/bachelorette party needs to be invited to the wedding.

JLu
Married: 2+ years ago
Jan 14, 2012 at 2:11 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It would be bad form for you to have the guests come to a shower, and then not invite the people to the wedding. I would, however, make the exception for work showers, as Kris S. suggests...because that isn't something that you have control over.

Perhaps after the wedding you can have a casual backyard BBQ to include your friends with the joy of your nuptials. Remind them that "no presents are required" just their "presence is desired."

Ab
Married: 10/29/2011
Jan 14, 2012 at 2:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Agreed; except for work ones that are initiated by someone else it is in bad form.
Jan 14, 2012 at 3:17 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Work is the only place this can happy without being tacky.

Married: 06/09/2012
Reviews: 8
Jan 14, 2012 at 3:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Would there be any way for each of you to invite your very closest friends to the wedding? Then they could be involved in the pre-wedding stuff too.

Married: 06/15/2012
Reviews: 6
Jan 14, 2012 at 5:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
a cousin did this in October, they invited like 15 people to the shower and not the wedding, (I drove three hrs each direction to meet my cousins bride that I'd never met) and have not even so much as received a thank you for the very nice gift I gave, yeah, a really bad taste.... just saying :/

Married: 09/15/2012
Reviews: 11
Jan 14, 2012 at 5:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Celia...because it's a gift party...

A couple did that to me once when I was younger. They were having their wedding in the UK and the bridal shower was being held in NJ. None of my family went to it. We were long time friends of the groom's family. We didn't even know the bride that well.
I thought it was insulting.

Now people are coming to our bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Vegas that aren't coming to our wedding. They are just coming to party with us...no gifts involved
Jan 14, 2012 at 5:42 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
What WOULD be fun is to have a party with the girls, but make it very, very clear that;
1. you don't want them to bring gifts, no you really, really mean it
2. you'd love to invite way more people to the wedding, but it is limited to immediate family
3. it's not a shower.

Peeka
Married: 05/24/2012
Reviews: 5
Jan 14, 2012 at 5:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yes, it's rude. One of my college friends invited everyone we hung out with to the shower and not the wedding. She stated it was "limited seating." That's fine, just don't ask me to bring you a gift and not invite me to the wedding. I don't think anyone went to the shower.

MrsArchie
Married: 2+ years ago
Jan 14, 2012 at 7:27 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
This question came across my mind when it was my bridal shower as well.

There were about 4 people who were invited to the shower who weren't invited to the wedding. I thought this was a bit tacky, and asked if I should have invited them to the wedding aswell. I was told by MIL who invited these 4 ppl not to, that they were just ppl who she had been to showers for and it was a "pay back" invite. I thought that was kinda rude and I felt bad, but I had nothing to do with invites and guest lists.
I made sure though that they got a very nice thank you card.

I also have been invited to an engagement party and bridal shower and not been invited to the wedding because I was considered a kid... I was 21 at the time and didnt consider myself a kid. I found that to be very rude and I was offended by that.


Married: 2+ years ago
Jan 15, 2012 at 2:32 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
If they're not invited to the wedding, don't invite them to the shower. The exception is for work.
Edited On: Jan 15, 2012 at 2:32 AM
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