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Sarah195
Master October 2016

You're not really engaged if..

Sarah195, on June 29, 2015 at 9:27 AM Posted in Planning 0 53

You don't set a date within 8 weeks of getting engaged. This was the topic on the radio during my drive to work. One morning show host thought it was ok to wait to set a date because the ring is a symbol of his promise to one day marry his fiance and they don't need a date to prove they are committed and the other host said that you need the date to tell people who won't stop asking and that anything over a year engagement is too long. I just thought it was an interesting debate I tried calling in to tell them I'm having a year and a half engagement so we could get the date and venue we want but they were already moving on to another topic!

53 Comments

Latest activity by Sparkles, on June 29, 2015 at 3:03 PM
  • OriginalRandi
    Master November 2015
    OriginalRandi ·
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    Lolol guess my engagement is totally fake then! We've got a date now obviously but we didn't have it within 8 weeks of the proposal so brb gonna go tell FH we're not actually engaged...

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  • Zoni
    Super August 2015
    Zoni ·
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    I'm kind of wondering what other qualifications they have, now. What about couples who don't get rings?

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  • Kathryn
    Master December 2021
    Kathryn ·
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    Were you listening to Kiss FM cause I heard the same story

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  • Sarah195
    Master October 2016
    Sarah195 ·
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    We set the date within 2 weeks of getting engaged but that's because we already knew what we wanted! But we are having an 18 month engagement so I guess that's too long!

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  • Sarah195
    Master October 2016
    Sarah195 ·
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    Yes Kiss FM!

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  • KM
    Master March 2015
    KM ·
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    I know a lot of people who got engaged and never set a date. I don't exactly get it. Why spend a butt ton of money on a ring if nothing about your relationship is going to change in the near (or even slightly distant) future? We had a 22 month engagement but at least we established from the start that yes, we were working on getting married. I know some who have been engaged for over a year with no date. Just keep your relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend until you actually have real intentions of becoming husband and wife. I guess people just like the attention you get from getting engaged or something. I guess being engaged also can make a relationship seem more legit from the outside.

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  • MrsND
    Master November 2016
    MrsND ·
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    Date twin!! Well mine isn't "officially" set so my engagement doesn't count. lol... We've ran into a bump with FI needing surgery so I should tell him he needs to propose again lol .

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  • Happy In Hawaii
    Master July 2015
    Happy In Hawaii ·
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    Well we had our date before we were engaged (it is our dating anniversary and it fell on a Saturday) but we had 2 years and 2 months for our engagement! So I guess it was all fake, hope the wedding in 12 days isn't fake!

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  • Mrs. Lav
    Master November 2015
    Mrs. Lav ·
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    We postponed...what does that mean? Haha.

    And, what are you supposed to do if you don't set a date right away? Get re-engaged?

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  • JoBu
    Master September 2015
    JoBu ·
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    I know so many couples who have more than a year-long engagement.....including FH and I! Our engagement is going to be 21 months total. We did it that long to save money since we are paying a good portion ourselves.

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  • Sarah195
    Master October 2016
    Sarah195 ·
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    Yes if you don't set a date within 8 weeks you must get re-engaged! Lol. But seriously it shouldn't matter when you set a date I think each couple should do what they want to do it's their life and their wedding! And weddings are expensive so most people need to save up and that takes a little while.

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  • CharDel
    Dedicated November 2015
    CharDel ·
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    Ack! I'm sad to learn I'm not really engaged Smiley sad

    We still haven't decided on a date (ignore my profile) and we've been engaged for months!

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  • KM
    Master March 2015
    KM ·
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    That's way different VM

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  • Sarah195
    Master October 2016
    Sarah195 ·
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    VM it will be so much more special for you!

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  • Maggie
    Expert June 2016
    Maggie ·
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    Guess mine was fake too! It was almost four months before we set a date...

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  • Mrs. Nicole
    Master May 2016
    Mrs. Nicole ·
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    We waited 3 months to start planning anything.

    Not that I didn't want to get married, but I hate planning things and we had no idea what to do at the time. And I just liked being engaged without worrying about centerpieces for a minute.

    But people that get engaged and then don't do anything for 10 years (minus cases like Vals for obvious reasons) don't make sense to me.

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  • Hannah
    Super September 2015
    Hannah ·
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    Ha! I think your engagement is as real as you feel it is. We chose our date about 4 weeks after our engagement and it was based on when certain family members were available since our total engagement will be 5 months long. We are both in our mid 30s, want to have kids asap, and didn't want a long engagement. Plus we are having a small backyard wedding so not as much planning or expense. I have friends who have had 5+ year engagements for various reasons but they were younger. Bottom line - do what works for you!

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  • LadyMonk
    Master September 2014
    LadyMonk ·
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    That's crazy talk!

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  • Staci
    Master September 2014
    Staci ·
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    Its kind of a strict rule but I get where they are coming from with it. Like my brother who is 22 and "engaged" with no hopes of being able to afford a wedding in the near future.

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  • LindseyC
    Super October 2015
    LindseyC ·
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    We didn't have a date right away but we knew we wanted it to be in the fall. I waited to pick a date until I found a venue I liked. I didn't want to get attached to a date just to find out its not available. But people constantly asking me when the wedding was did get very annoying!

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