You're either a Bridezilla or you don't have a backbone. Wedding planning is Fun!

I got called a bridezilla because I said a certain type of music will not be played at the wedding (local music I'm not a fan of and always said wouldn't be at my wedding). I'm pretty sure that was an attempt at bullying as I was also told "I had to play it" to which I said "it's tacky, absolutely not" and got smacked with the bridezilla comment. Clearly this person doesn't understand the definition of the actual word, but more so it was an attempt to bully me into doing something I not only don't want any part of but also something well within my right to not have - considering the DJ actually asks us what to not play 😂.

My grandfather is getting a limo for himself, the mother of the bride, her sister, and her sister's husband. Not sure I'd there are others. The groom and best man are taking uber black, but there's a limo with the strangest combo of people ever. He's also getting corsages. I would love to know for whom he is getting these. 😂 We aren't doing corsages and I'm making all our flowers.

We have had quite a few people tell us we have to do this or that and get pretty rude about it. I honestly want no parts of this whole thing, but here I am hoping we will get to enjoy the day the way we want to enjoy it since we are paying for it. The good news is that FH has my back on it all so far and wants me to enjoy the day as thanks for all the work I am putting in.

Unfortunately you'll never please everyone and everyone has their own opinions and give it whether you want it or not. Just do what you want, take in conciderationg from those helping pay or opinions you really care about and just do you for the rest!

Oh my goodness, yes!!!! We have planned our wedding in 4 months time and I have said on more than one occasion that I couldn't do this for a year! It has been so stressful and overwhelming!
Our wedding is October 6th and I will be glad to have all this planning behind us. I have shed so many tears over my youngest daughters attitude to my oldest daughters strong opinions, ugh! I haven't found this time to be magical, special, fun...none of what I had hoped or envisioned.
I am very much a people pleaser and end up doing what others think is best.
12 more days!!!!

I would limit the amount of opinions this weekend - cut that crowd back! Good luck!

I’d also suggest keeping details to yourself. We had very small supportive families anyway, but we had ZERO drama because truly wanted to surprise guests. Maybe also cuz we were 45/55, nobody needed to control our wedding but keeping a lot of details quiet really does help.

View Quoted Comment Oh no you won't invite anyone at 100 a head on me! You are nice because I would politely uninvite them. That is $2000. 🙅🏿‍♀️🙅🏿‍♀️ not happening.

Best solution is to pay 100%... then no one gets a say!

I so feel you on this. Literally 12 hours after we got engaged my step mom was endlessly texting my fiancé and I about this and that. I had to nicely send a group text that said something along the lines of “we appreciate how excited you are for us and can’t wait to start planning but we’d like to enjoy our engagement and the move (we were moving in together 3 months after we got engaged) and getting settled and when we’re ready we’ll all sit down and start discussing everything, until then, no wedding talk please”

they all Understood.

then when it came time to sit down my fiancé and I threw some ideas out there that we know we’d have even if we had to pay for it ourselves. So after hearing multiple comments along the lines of “you could do something cheaper” “well how much does that cost?” “Do you really need that” we told them look, we appreciate any contribution you’d like to make but we’re letting you know that this is our day and we will pay for whatever needs to be paid for.

We we weren’t going to not do something because they wouldn’t pay for it. Just set boundaries.

On the the other hand, if your parents are paying for most of it then it’s more about a party for your family, celebrating you. So they’re gonna want things a certain way seeing as they’re paying for it.

Ive had multiple instances where I’d get so overwhelmed I’d put planning on hold to get back in the moment of being engaged and enjoying this new chapter. Our wedding is a year away as of TOMORROW so just like you we’ve got plenty of time.

Me and FH are paying for about half and my parents are paying for the other half of our wedding. My parents couldn't care less what we do. My dad basically told us "You plan stuff and I'll write the checks". Obviously he doesn't want me to look like a hooker or something, but I went dress shopping with just my mom because all of my BMs live in different states. I am anticipating MIL drama a month or so before the wedding but oh well-no pay, no say.

GIRL PREACH!! I've had the same problem! It's crazy all the opinions that come out about YOUR wedding!

I've learned to just roll with the punches & stay true to what me & my FH want. We are fully paying for our own wedding and I have blantaly told some of my family members that if they think I should do something different they can foot the bill 😅 (sorrynotsorry). Like for example one of my grandfathers thinks its ridiculous that I'm not inviting all his siblings (brothers, sisters, nieces etc.) & I told him both my FH & I barely know ANY of them, like literally the last time I remember seeing any of them I was like 5 (now 26). It was a huge thing and I finally told him if he made me a list we would consider it + I mentioned was he going to pay to add 20+ strangers to our guestlist. He backed off lol.

I was worried about dress shopping too because I have a lot of family politics & my bestfriends actually hate eachother (😬😅) but it was surprisingly stress & drama free! So praying you also have a smooth experience & I'll take a shot for you lol.

Also congratulations on your big day ❤.

I’m with you on this 100%. We’re paying for about 75% of our wedding but his mom has been the biggest culprit of this, even when it comes to the bridal shower. Its been really exhausting so far and we still have a whole year to go too. I’m here, if you ever want to rant

OMG I completely understand!! My wedding is in March and its the same feeling either your a bridezilla or you being pushed over. Its so hurtful and frustrating especially when you are paying a lot of the expenses. I have family picking dresses out of the color scheme, bridesmaids not wanting to order dresses - like i literally feel done with planning. This is supposed to fun and I am just like over it and still have 6 months left. Sending prayers your way

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My parents (the only other people that have contributed) wrote me a check after I had already made the big decisions (location, bar, food) and then wanted me to change stuff. I told them that was a ridiculous request because I'd already put deposits down. I had asked for their opinion prior to all of this and they put it on the back burner and then wouldn't give me a legitimate answer when it came time to start booking. So they basically have backed off. They contributed what they wanted to and are letting me take control. It's other people that seem to have snarky remarks to everything I say or opinions on how it SHOULD be done... people that haven't paid for anything. My bridal party wants to be helpful but they're all getting offended that they aren't in control of certain events (bachelorette party, dress shopping, bridal party) or included in things. I know there are worse problems to have, like no help at all, but it's still ALOT. I'm just trying to make it to 10/10/20 without losing my mind at this pointXD

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New mentality right here: #sorrynotsorryXD I hope my dress shopping turns out like yours! Thank you so much

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Girl, I hear ya. It's like if you're going to express your thoughts or hesitations on a decision I've made, you NEED to have a solution!!! People are bananas. People are driving me bananas. It's nice to have an outlet to express frustrations. Same to you if you need to vent!

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Haha, like I said, no pay, no say.

I am having this issue too. My MOH and MIL both had quick courthouse weddings so they expect to make decisions about my wedding because they missed out. My MOH is really bad...when we went dress shopping, she told the sales woman "this is OUR weeding" and I want her to wear "this" kind of dress. They get very upset when me and my SO make plans and decisions without them. I finally got tired of it and told them both that I appreciate their help and provided a list of things they can help with, everything else will done by me. That has really helped them focus on some things and butt out on other things. If they ask me about anything that is not their "list" I just smile and tell not to worry I am handling it.

I definitely understand. Just take a breath and keep going because it is about you.

Girl, I am feeling you HARD CORE. We have been engaged for over a year and our date is this October 11th. My mother keeps trying to wear WHITE to my wedding, says "She looks better in lighter colors". Her boyfriend of a couple years whom I dislike, I uninvited to the wedding and my mother told me " I can't celebrate you if HE can't come" .... so therefore, I had to bite the bullet and allow for this person to come, pay $75 for him to come just so my mother would join. When it came to my guest list, those who I haven't spoken to in over a year (Even family) really shouldn't need to be invited... and all of a sudden, everyone cares about you! It's insane!!! I can't wait for the day to be here to finally become ONE with my fiance but DAMN I am absolutely over all this!!!!!

Girl, I felt this in my soul. Do what makes YOU happy. I didn't allow many people to my dress fitting to avoid all the opinions.