Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Taylor
VIP October 2020

You're either a Bridezilla or you don't have a backbone. Wedding planning is Fun!

Taylor, on September 24, 2019 at 2:11 PM Posted in Planning 3 58

Man y'all... I'm just over this entire ordeal. People want to make it seem like your wedding is about YOU when in reality it's about everyone BUT you. Over the duration of my engagement, someone's feelings have consistently been hurt because they didn't get a say in a decision or didn't help plan something. It's EXHAUSTING and I don't even get married until next October!!! Everyone wants things done their way and when I say no because it's not what I want, I'm a Bridezilla (I'm paying for 75%). If I try to avoid yet another argument, don't say anything, and I'm unhappy with the outcome, I have no backbone. There is no way out of being criticized. I'm gonna need some prayers or good vibes or SOMETHING (vodka?) this weekend while I go try on dresses with SEVEN people. Please. Sorry for the rant. I'm a smidge overwhelmed.

58 Comments

Latest activity by Angelica, on October 3, 2019 at 6:48 AM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Smiley sad I see what you mean. With wedding planning it's like everyone gets so opinionated !
    • Reply
  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Especially the quiet ones that never have ANYTHING to say!!!

    • Reply
  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I agree with this. Sometimes my wedding feels like a performance for other people. I've been emotionally drained over that realization many times. This forum is my refuge lol.

    • Reply
  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Same, girl! Gotta vent to someone, right?Smiley laugh

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Is there anyway you can stop involving people in planning? My husband and I did almost all the planning, and we really avoided all drama.

    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I honestly think this is the best advice. The fewer people you share info with, the fewer opinions you will receive. Just practice smiling noncommittally whenever you receive advice. And then go about your business. Also make sure you aren't making decisions by "people pleasing" because that never really goes well. Decide on your priorities, stick to them, ignore the noise.

    • Reply
  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    We have done this on our own as well and have not had any headaches from outside opinions. I know it's hard because we ALL want to gush and tell people about our details, but sometimes less really is more.

    In the meantime, rant away and get some vodka! lol

    • Reply
  • F
    Devoted October 2019
    Future Mrs Wilson ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Agreed. I'm shocked with the amount if feelings I've had to cater to. "U didn't include me in dress shopping" "you're not telling me everything that's going on" blah blah blah. I'm under 30 days and cant wait to finally get married and right now I want half of these people to leave me alone for a good six months. Lol
    • Reply
  • Andrea
    Super May 2020
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I think you have to be really selective with who you talk about your wedding with. My fiancé and I are paying for the whole thing ourselves and I try to only talk to him, my mom and my maid of honor (my sister in law NOT sil to be) about it. As much as I can leave his mom out, I do.

    She has a million negative opinions and wants everything done on her schedule. She literally made me plan venue visits when she came to visit and we were not even engaged yet!!! A month after we got engaged she told me when she was coming up to visit and that was when we were going dress shopping, didn’t matter that I didn’t want to yet. They have invited probably 20 friends who I have never heard of (at a $100 a head wedding) and the list just goes on. I can’t deal and I could vent about it all day. So sorry to steal your rant!!!
    I talk a little about my planning when people ask me and if my future mil asks me a direct question I’ll answer, but I think it’s been so smart to just cut it to my core people that I can really count on and trust to talk wedding with.
    And yes this forum is super helpful!
    • Reply
  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Most of them are getting their feelings hurt BECAUSE they aren't included in the planning. lol I guess they'll just have to get over it!

    • Reply
  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I am very much so a people pleaser so I guess I just need to keep my mouth shut and ignore them as you suggested. It's been hard because everyone wants to be included in planning so when I do make a decision, they're offended that they didn't help (Bachelorette party, dress shopping, day before wedding accommodations). They're all just trying to be helpful, which I appreciate, but it's overwhelming me because everyone isn't happy with the outcome and they make that VERY clear with their remarks. I just need to power through for the next 365+ daysXD

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Yup, I had these same things go down during my planning!

    We had people down our backs about guest list, ideas and opinions. It was exhausting and for a long time I tried to please everyone. I even cancelled my dress order and BOUGHT A NEW ONE because a FEW people didn't love the dress I picked. I was crazy.

    Then come wedding week when people were breathing down my neck and bridesmaids were changing things about my decor set-up, getting drunk instead of helping, etc. I was suddenly a bridezilla because I just wanted some peace and freaked out on them to either help me or leave.

    It all passes, good luck in the next year of planning. Stick to your guns, let them think you're a bridezilla. It is your day and sometimes people forget the pressure you're under.

    • Reply
  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Girl, you're completely fine! Rant away. I would be SO mad if someone did those things to me. Makes my issues seem minuscule compared to yours!

    • Reply
  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Love this!!! Bridezilla might be coming out this weekend while dress shopping! I'm sure I'll have a few more rants on here between now and my wedding. Everyone stay tunedXD

    • Reply
  • J
    Expert May 2021
    Jaime ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'd suggest keeping wedding planning and talk to yourself and your FH. We are paying for and planning our wedding on our own. We haven't asked for opinions from anybody and it has been great! I don't suspect people would give us a hard time if we did, but I honestly do better with less input from other people.

    • Reply
  • Amanda-Joi
    Beginner March 2020
    Amanda-Joi ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    • Reply
  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm dealing with my FH's aunt behaving this way. I'm so fed up I've cut her off and have stopped talking about the wedding to her. She is INCREDIBLY controlling and is essentially trying to hijack our wedding. She's creating drama and tension, making mountains of nothing. I'm to the point of blocking her on my phone. She's so negative!!!! So I understand where you're coming from, and all we can do to try and combat this is to stop talking to certain folks about our wedding plans. There are some members of the family who are SO PUSHY with all of this! It's insane!! My head hurts just thinking about it.

    • Reply
  • Megan
    Expert October 2019
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I tried on dresses with 6 people. Lol. My FMIL, step mom, mom, MOH and 2 FSIL. It was great, so I hope your experience is just as fun. Dont worry about being a Bridezilla or not... just enjoy the process. I'm 18 days out and felt like a Bridezilla before.
    • Reply
  • Kyla
    Dedicated November 2019
    Kyla ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Right after my engagement (I mean, we are still in the restaurant) someone said “Why didn’t he tell me? I could've helped plan the proposal.” All I could think was that my fiancee told the person that he knows I’m close to and that’s not you, DUH!


    Just remember that no one is entitled to know any decisions about your wedding (in laws included unless they're paying) and no one is entitled to be a bridesmaid. This helped me keep things in perspective. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Every time I get sad about not really having anyone close by interested in my wedding, or disappointed my FMIL is beyond uninterested, or wishing I had a larger bridal party, a thread like this pops up to remind me disinterested family and a small wedding party are actually good things.
    Stick to your guns, ladies. It’s your wedding.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics