Writing your future spouse a letter or card before the ceremony?

We are writing our vows but not doing gifts and letters to each other. The vows I was able to write to which I think I need to add a little more. But then again it took me 2 weeks to get to the point of actually writing the vows.

Have you tried saying it out loud and recording yourself? If you have some time/space to yourself to just sit and talk about your FH like you're describing him to someone else then you can listen back to it and write down the parts you like. Idk just a suggestion, it might be easier to just talk about it casually than to try and write it all. I find when I try to describe FH to someone else I tend to be more descriptive and romantic (and sappy lol).

@cassidyandnick gave some good advice. we wrote our own vows and wrote cards to each other to exchange with our gifts on the day of. writing that kind of stuff is always really hard for me but my mom gave the same advice. she's like, "you tell me about josh all the time. just sit down and think about how you feel and what you've shared with me. it'll come out." it helps to record yourself. just think about how you feel about him and let it flow out... like you're talking to a friend and bragging and gushing about the most perfect guy in the world.

I feel the same date twin :/

Cassidy, that's a really good idea. Following this post for any more brilliant ideas...

I wrote mine the morning of because I had writers block every other time I tried. It was actually pretty nice to step away from the chaos of everyone getting hair and makeup done and the photographer to just sit back and think about the fact that I was just about to marry my best friend and how much he means to me. It was easy to write then.

I started writing in a journal a year before our wedding date, and try to write something almost every day about how I love him. I'm planning to give it to him as his gift. I can get pretty pessimistic so it's really helped me remember not to get hung up on the things that bother me because there is so much to love about my fella!

We're going to write letters, but I don't think we're going to do customized vows. I keep thinking of all the things I want to say and promise him, but I don't want my vows to be cheesy or ridiculous (I'm a rambler too so I could easily have three pages of vows....). I feel like the traditional vows say it all very concisely. So I talked with FH about it, and we decided to do a letter to each other to be delivered before the ceremony.

@OP

These are my personal vows to my soon-to-be wife, feel free to use parts or the whole thing or just to get ideas if you want.

Groom's Wedding Vows

_________________________________

I have never been one who believed in love at first sight. How could you know you loved someone before even exchanging two words with them?

Then I met you, and everything I thought I knew about love went out the window. Nothing I had ever heard or read could have prepared me for what I suddenly found myself feeling for you, and that I have felt for you every day since.

You have taught me so much already, and continue to do so every day. You always give a reason for why you do the things you do, the way you do them. Your understanding and patience is amazing.

There is a quote that best discribes how I feel:

“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone”.

I promise to respect, admire, and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you wish to become.

I love you and I love spending time with you, but I promise to always respect your individuality and your time needed to recharge.

I promise to support and protect your personal freedom, because although our lives are intertwined, your choices are still yours alone.

I promise to support you in any way I can, as you have always, unconditionally, supported me.

I promise do my best to understand your wishes, your desires, and your dreams then do my best to them come true.

I promise to persevere when times get tough, knowing that any challenges we might face, we will conquer them together.

(name), from the first kiss to the last breath, no one will ever love anyone as wholly and deeply as I love you. "I will never leave you, (name). That's a promise."

_______________________________________________________

...and this is my Groom's Speech at the reception:

____________________________________________________

Having just married my soul-mate, the woman I spent years dreaming of but now I am really bound to, I find it difficult to focus on anything but my sincere elation as I now realize I have (name) as my bride.

Still, I can't think of a better group of people with whom to spend this occasion.

To those who travelled far, we thank you for your commitment and dedication. To all of you, we thank you for simply being here - it means everything to us that we have the honor to spend this day with you. I am so thankful to share these moments, the moments of a lifetime, with you all.

To my best man, if I could take this opportunity I'd like to say you couldn't have done a better job as a friend through out the years. (tiny personal story removed)

I wouldn't have wanted anyone but you standing by my side at my wedding. Thank you, (Best man)

To my sister, (name). We're as alike as we are different. Some said that in the past we were like oil and water, however you've been here my entire life, and despite our differences we manage to come together. Kiddo, I've always loved you and alwasy will. As I look to the future, my sincere hope is that we are brought even closer together and one day I can attend your wedding with tears in my eyes. Thank you for being here, sis.

To my parents,(names). Thank you for all you've taught me, and all that you will teach me in the future. No toast, no speech, could ever do you justice. Know that in all I do, in every step I take, every decision I make, I am doing so with the thought, would my folks be proud or embarrased? I am delighted to share this night with you. Thank you for making it a possibility. Thank you for everything.

My family circle is growing, and I am deeply grateful for my new Mother in law and cousins. (names) are wonderful people. You truly are.

(MIL), you've brought an amazing women into this world, and for that alone I am eternally grateful. I will never, in all my life, be able to repay you for raising such a kind, fun, sunny and loving woman. I cannot begin to express how amazing it is to have a new family with whom I share so much in common. To be able to talk with your in-laws without worry is in itself such a gift.

(the rest of the in-law family), i feel so included, so loved, and so connected. I am thankful for that, your blessing, your support and for all that you've done for us. Thank you for this night.

(my wife) tonight I will use the biggest cliche said by nearly every man who has ever married. "I am the luckiest man alive."

From our earliest moments, I dreamed of this. There has always been a knowing, a feeling deep down that we simply are right for each other. I believe our relationship is in part founded on our commonalities, those precious things we share, those parts of ourselves that align so neatly with the other; and, in part on our differences. You are the calm to my storm, the light in my dark night, my feather when my heart is heavy. You are my balance. A true friend is one soul in two bodies. You are the truest, purest friend I could ever hope for, and I look forward to a lifetime of undying love and commitment. Being a part of who I am, you know more of me than anyone ever has or ever will. Thank you for all that you are. I vow to forever hold you, to support you, to give my all into building one life, in synch and harmony. You know everything about me, and love me just the same.

So I ask (wife) to stand with me as I offer this toast to all of you here, for your prosperity, for your continued good health and for love in all it's forms to touch and enchance your lives. Here is to you, friends, family, cherished guests.

Thank you.

I will most likely surprise my FH with a letter on the day of the wedding while we are getting ready. We tend to write each other little notes on XMas or each others birthdays to remind the other in writing just how much we love each other (because even though we do it in person we just don't stay serious long enough with each other). I tend to get inspiration for those letters when I think about my life before I met him and how much it has changed since then. Also he's the only one that not only puts up with my antics, but also helps me in little things that mean a lot to me, but other people act like I'm crazy.

For instance we had a neighborhood cat get injured and instead of watching it limp around the neighborhood he helped me set it up in the house overnight and took it to the vet the next morning while I went to work. I've never dated a guy before that would do that for me. He did it because he knew it meant a lot to me, but also because he's just that kind of person. Or for instance I have horses and one got hurt one time, he would take time during his lunch break to check it, or if he got off of work early he would change the bandage. Little gestures that maybe don't seem like a lot, but that mean a lot to you, draw from those.

As for my own vows, I don't think I can explain things in a elegant enough way in such a short amount of time. He wants to write his own vows, I'll see what I can come up with.