Writing vows that won't make you cry while you read/say them.

I don't think it's bad if you cry a little. Just don't do the Kim K cry.

You don't write the most emotional, deep words for public display. You write letters to each other and keep the vows a bit more neutral.

Celia: makes total sense...

The only problem is, I'm tearing up just thinking about saying something like "You make me so very happy." My goodness I'm a sap!!

I better start now, and start practicing! lol

But I really do like the letter idea, for later on in the night...that way I can express the really deep, personal things to him...

I am wondering the same thing! I was reading the standard ones that our coordinator sent and when FH asked me to read them out loud I started getting teary eyed LOL

And I can be an ugly crier too...when I get going....Woo.

I really do think I'll just have to practice.

Say them to one of my BMs over and over till I'm comfortable enough to not cry.

I had to do that for a song I wanted to sing at karaoke (Lana Del Rey's "Young and Beautiful...I cried EVERY TIME I got to "Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul"), and it seemed to work...

How many of you are writing your own?

I'd say about 1/2 of my couples do; the funny thing? I almost never cry at my own weddings in person, but when I see the ceremonies on video? Ugly serious crying, lol!

We weren't going to write our own and just use the standard for this reason, but as I commented above, that might not work either lol.

VM posted some vows a while ago that I really liked. It was back and forth promises between the bride and groom and I thought that might make it more fun and lighthearted so I would be less likely to cry.

Chantel, I like that.

I was in a wedding YEARS ago that they wrote their own, and during the bride's, after she said something, she incorporated the standard vows, and her officiant started reading the next bits, and she repeated it...it was the coolest thing ever..

And now I'm crying at work thinking about it.

*sigh*

lol!!

Ugh.

Get some tissue!!!!

https://www.theknot.com/content/favorite-wedding-vows-from-real-weddings

Read them over and over and over again until you get a little numb to them.

Bring a hankie (not tissues that shred).

The State of FL provided me with a semi-traditional set of vows. But, they made reference to "Holy Matrimony" and "in the presence of God." I thought that might be too much religion for a couple looking for a civil officiant. So, I put together something totally non-religious, but still very romantic. I read it out loud in my office to see how long it would take. And "I" started to tear up. Told myself, "Nancy, you can't be the one crying!" So, I practiced and practiced.

I found a blog with some good quotes and some good ideas too:

http://www.weddingshoppeinc.com/blog/index.php/2015/04/20/38-love-quotes-for-your-wedding-vows/

My favorite piece of advice is: 1. Settle on a format and tone with your fiancé.

You don’t want to follow 2 minutes of jokes from your man with 5 minutes of tear-jerking poetry. Discuss the overall tone you want your words to have, as well as a length you both can handle.

We are writing each other letters for the morning of and saying traditional vows. So the emotional part will be before and we can just repeat after the officiant during and just focus on each other.

I'm a super crier too. Instead of saying the personal vows, we went through and wrote/picked out our recited vows so that they were very personal to us but weren't overly emotional. I still cried lol but I also just carried a lace handkerchief with me and kept it during the whole ceremony so I could keep it all together.

I like that idea too, HereComeTheYorks.

I'm working on mine right now, and the romantic in me wants to include a line or two of lyrics from the song I'm walking down the aisle to (walking to an instrumental version).

Here's how I worded it so far:

"You’re my best friend, my lover, my partner in crime. You know everything about me…and somehow still love me, even with my ridiculous Doctor Who obsession!!

And in you…In you "I’ve found somebody to share the rest of my life…know my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details…someone who’ll stand by my side…and give me support…and in return, you get my support….and when I’m asleep, I’ve found somebody who will put his arms around me and kiss me tenderly...""

Maybe it's not the best idea to write your own vows if you cry so much? lol

I agree with annakay. It's not the perfect idea for many couples, and you're just as married at the end of the day.

My mom bought monogrammed handkerchiefs for me and DH, and both sets of parents. She just knew she'd be an ugly crier during the wedding and she wanted to be ready. Funny thing is... she never shed a tear all day. I'M the one who was the big cry-baby as I was saying my vows!! I was shaking like a leaf the whole time. I had no idea that I would react that way. My handkerchief was wrapped around the stem of my bouquet, which the bridesmaid was holding so I never used it. When I finished my vows, DH took my hands in his and immediately I was calmer. But for a minute or two, I didn't think I'd get through it.

We rehashed a message that FH sent me the week we started dating, it's the most beautiful thing anybody has ever written to me, so I'm glad we're using it. He's reading two lines from that message (it was a long message), and then I'm "replying" to another line from that letter, and saying an adapted version of a line from 'our' song. That made it easier

I am not a fan of personalized vows. I don't find them romantic and meaningful as a guest watching, I find them cringeworthy and awkward. It's like being out with a couple who are way too lovey dovey with the pet names and the 'no, I love you more' stuff. And it's a million times worse if the people saying them can't even get through them because they get too emotional.

However, if you really want to do them, here would be my advice - keep them short, very short, and sweet. Two lines max. Keep it simple and not overly deep/passionate. And then read them over and over and over and over and so on. Until you can do it without crying. A bit choked up is fine - but blubbering over the words is again, really uncomfortable for the people watching.

I'm the exact opposite of Nicola then - I love the personal vows, although I've only seen people use them that have been able to hold it together. We are not having a traditional standard ceremony and I think using standard vows would feel out of place. That being said, I think we will be going over them together beforehand so that we can ensure I don't ugly cry.

I am pretty sure he will blubber regardless of what we say so it won't matter haha. I love how sensitive he is. If only I could have taped him when we were seeing Inside Out a couple weeks ago.