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Must Love Cats
Master October 2017

Would you let OOT friends stay at your house after wedding?

Must Love Cats, on April 15, 2017 at 6:07 PM Posted in Planning 1 62

We are having quite a few OOT family and friends come to the wedding. FH's best friend and his girlfriend live in Vancouver. FH is paying for their hotel stay as the ticket prices are high. We don't know how long they'll intend to stay. I have a good friend in California coming. She wants to come in on Saturday and fly out Wednesday night. My house is small with 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. I know FH rarely sees his friends and same goes for me. Would you extend an invitation to either? I have a twin air mattress but would have to spend money on a queen air mattress, additional pillows, mattress pad and a bed set. I think it's cheaper if I helped out with a night for his friends which would be $139 instead of spending money on those things. FH would prefer his friends stay a night after the wedding and my friend stay a night after they leave, but again I don't know when that would be. Nor do I think it would be fair to have my friend stay at the hotel the whole time. What would you do?

62 Comments

Latest activity by Meaghan, on April 17, 2017 at 3:15 PM
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    No. They are adults. They can find a hotel and stay in it.

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  • RealLindseyO
    Master October 2017
    RealLindseyO ·
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    Absolutely not.

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  • MrsSki
    Master April 2017
    MrsSki ·
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    Nope. Absolutely not. Honestly, I was so drained the day after the wedding there's no way I could've hosted anyone at our home. We did go to lunch with our OOT friends, but then we just relaxed for dinner. It was a ton of fun, but exhausting, even after a good night's sleep.

    If you want to be super nice, you could check airbnb or similar sites for your friends. It might be cheaper than a hotel, and since you're local, you could scope out the place for them!

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  • Kathleen Smith
    Kathleen Smith ·
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    No.

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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    Aren't you taking a honeymoon? I wouldn't want to see a damn soul the days after our wedding regardless. Definitely not.

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  • ambrok
    Master October 2017
    ambrok ·
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    It's not ideal; but we're doing this. FILs are OOS. They will be probably leaving early from our wedding reception to take care of our dog at our condo & also be taking all of their grandkids to sleepover/giving us & FH's brother/SIL an adult break for the night. Love that the are going to be taking great care of our dog; but we will now have to make sure everything is super clean/setup for the sleep over :o

    Then FH's OOS friend might be able to fly in for our wedding. Since we are leaving for our honeymoon the day after the wedding, I asked FH to call him to let him know...so if they want 1-2 days to hang out a bit, he could plan to come earlier. I know most would say to leave it up to them to find a place & I think that's a great idea; but when finances don't allow...I'd personally want friends/family attend the wedding then having to decline.

    Just the choice we made & I'll make do.

    ETA: we are having guest over before our wedding, on wedding night & afterwards, OOS FILs will be staying in our condo to watch our dog-n-such & we will be spending the night before & of at our hotel venue (free for us on the wedding night). We leave for the honeymoon that day after.

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  • kirackle
    Super September 2017
    kirackle ·
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    I can't believe that you are paying for their flights. Do not go out and buy an air mattress too. Why don't you suggest that they combine on a big AirBnB together?

    Also, you do not want people underfoot before your wedding and after should be private time for you FI. Stay strong and do not cave to this sense of guilt you seem to have. Guests should never expect to be hosted by the wedding couple.

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  • Must Love Cats
    Master October 2017
    Must Love Cats ·
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    No immediate honeymoon. I'm in graduate school so not possible right now. Hoping when I'm done a nice reward plus honeymoon for an anniversary would be two weeks in Rome. FH is taking the week off afterwards and then going back to Canada.

    I was already thinking because of anxiety that after the brunch we'll host at the hotel the morning after we would want to check out, go home and sleep.

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  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
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    No. There's enough stress around your wedding week without houseguests.

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  • brieliz
    VIP January 2017
    brieliz ·
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    I had my friends stay with me when they came to town for the shower, but the wedding I would have been way too exhausted.

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  • D
    Devoted July 2017
    Dana ·
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    I wouldn't have anyone stay at my house:

    Such a busy time. Pressure on to have everything cleaned up and ready to go for guests is too much.

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  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
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    No. I don't even let family stay over. I will only let people stay over in dire circumstances. They can adult and find a hotel.

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  • FaithD_2017
    VIP September 2017
    FaithD_2017 ·
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    We have people staying at our house. Most of the bridesmaids the week of the wedding plus family later on. We're going to be at the venue Friday-Sunday so someone is going to watch our animals.

    FH also has to work that Monday so it's not going to matter.

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  • Maria
    Master June 2018
    Maria ·
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    I wouldn't. It's hard to host, even if it's close friends/family and things are casual. It's an additional thing to deal with and I couldn't handle that before or after the wedding.

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  • Vanessa
    VIP November 2017
    Vanessa ·
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    I want to say I would absolutely do this. But at the same time all I want to do after the wedding is come home. Relax about money and no stress. And enjoy the first few says alone with my husband.

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  • Polly
    VIP May 2017
    Polly ·
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    We're having 2 of my friends stay with us at my moms house. But after the wedding we're going to a hotel so no worries on that end. These are both friends who could not afford to come if they did not have housing and both friends I really wanted to be there.

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  • CMC
    Master November 2016
    CMC ·
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    I would absolutely not host people for several days after the wedding, nor would I ever want to be a guest at a couple's house immediately after their wedding. They are adults; they need to figure out their own arrangements.

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  • FutureKL
    VIP September 2017
    FutureKL ·
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    No0o0o0o0o0o

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  • Amanda
    VIP May 2017
    Amanda ·
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    We're having the best man stay with us, we offered, he's out of state and his wife is pregnant so she won't be coming it's only for a day he told fh money was tight but there was no way he would miss , fh also stayed with them when he got married so we figured it was the least we could do, i honestly don't mind house guests but everyone is different.ETA we also have two kids 6 and 2 so it's not like we would come home and relax anyway lol our house runs on controlled chaos so throwing another person in the mix is not a big deal

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  • kittycow
    Expert December 2001
    kittycow ·
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    Even when you are living together, the first few days of married life are so tender and special. I think houseguests will ruin your ambiance.

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