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Savvy June 2020

Would You Have a Wedding at Normal Catholic Mass to Avoid Church Use Fee?

Cyndi, on October 28, 2019 at 12:52 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 16

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Hi All,
I am not sure what to do here. The usage fee for our church is $500. There is no fee for the sacrament of marriage, meaning that we can get married at any normal mass for free - just renting the church outside of a normal mass costs that much. The cost isn’t a big problem- we could cover it if we had to, but I would rather save the $500 for our house. Would you be willing to have your wedding in a normal church meeting in order to save $500? The priest is my cousin, so I can talk with him about walking down the aisle, still, and I would still wear my dress as would my bridesmaids.

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16 Comments

Latest activity by Ellie, on October 28, 2019 at 4:45 PM

Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on October 28, 2019 at 1:19 AM
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Are you not planning on having guests? Where would they sit? It might be odd for them.
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Master January 2019
Cassidy · on October 28, 2019 at 7:19 AM
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No. My priest mentioned it and it is not something I even entertained. I told him no very quickly.
I didn’t want my special, private moment when my husband and I were joined to turn into a public soectical. But, if it is something you would be comfortable with, go for it.
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Devoted July 2020
Brandi · on October 28, 2019 at 7:28 AM
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I would definitely just pay the $500. Weddings are made to be intimate and I, personally would hate to share my wedding during a mass.
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Master May 2019
Chandra · on October 28, 2019 at 7:44 AM
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I definitely wouldn't want a bunch of strangers at my wedding. I'd be paying that $500 real quick. There are plenty of other ways to save a buck in planning.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on October 28, 2019 at 7:56 AM
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As another poster mentioned, I imagine it may be difficult to ensure seating for all your guests. Also, you wouldn't want to risk the closest people to you not being in the front pew. While $500 is a lot of money, in the context of home buying it really isn't. The likelihood of you being $500 shy of qualifying for a mortgage is slim. However, the likelihood of some random stranger sitting where your parents should be or having guests not be able to find parking/seating is probably higher.
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Super November 2021
Alejandra · on October 28, 2019 at 8:06 AM
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As other people have said, I wouldn’t do it. Not only are you running the risk of your guests not having a space to sit, or strangers being present, you’re also going to ruin the congregation’s church experience. I, personally, would not want to go to mass on a normal day only to find myself in the presence of a wedding for people I don’t know, with a photographer taking pictures. I’d be very annoyed tbh lol as a stranger. So no. I don’t think ruining your experience and everyone else’s is worth the $500.
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VIP November 2016
Tara · on October 28, 2019 at 8:50 AM
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Personally I think it's worth the cost for sure! I would personally want my wedding to be about my sacrament and not a normal sermon with a bunch of people there that weren't part of the wedding.
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Master August 2018
Nemo · on October 28, 2019 at 9:00 AM
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Definitely worth the money to pay for your own ceremony.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on October 28, 2019 at 11:14 AM
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$500 for sure
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on October 28, 2019 at 12:55 PM
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I would 100% pay the $500 for a private wedding with just the invited guests at a normal wedding time closer to the reception.
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Expert May 2021
· on October 28, 2019 at 1:04 PM
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I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want that many strangers at my wedding. You also run the risk of getting strangers at your reception depending on how you have that set up. We have maps with directions for the ceremony to the reception since the venue is about 10 minutes from the church. I wouldn’t want a few strangers assuming the reception was also open. I also just wouldn’t want them witnessing our vows. Our guest list is already too big for my liking. The ceremony is an intimate event (in my opinion).
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Devoted November 2019
Kate · on October 28, 2019 at 1:16 PM
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I wouldn't want to; I'm actually having a Catholic wedding this weekend. While it was a slight annoyance having only a few ceremony times to choose from (Friday evening, Saturday morning @ 10, or Saturday afternoon @ 2), I'd much rather have that restriction than have my sacrament of marriage be part of an ordinary Saturday mass. I'd also think that most parishioners would be grumpy if there was a wedding as part of mass (the vows, etc. add about 20 minutes to the length of a normal mass).
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Super October 2019
W-K · on October 28, 2019 at 4:10 PM
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I would totally do it. It wouldn't bother me at all. It was actually a pretty regular thing at Pentecostal churches I would go to, though, people getting married during. I think it's because I view marriage as a part of the overreaching church community so most of the people who would be viewing the sacrament wouldn't necessarily be strangers. But if you're not an overly involved member I can see how it would be awkward.
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VIP November 2019
Catherine · on October 28, 2019 at 4:19 PM
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Its your big day! its a special day - as nice as it would be for more people from the congregation to be there i would suggest just paying the fee. That way your guests don't have to worry about finding seats or not having any. Plus its all about you two in that case. you're not sharing your day/sacrament with people you don't know.
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Super May 2020
Andrea · on October 28, 2019 at 4:26 PM
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There has got to be a better way to save $500 in the wedding planning. I would 100% have a private ceremony
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Devoted January 2020
Ellie · on October 28, 2019 at 4:45 PM
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I would pay the $500 dollars to have a private ceremony. I agree with many of the points the previous posters have made. This may be superficial on my part...but I also wouldn't want photos of my ceremony to have people in them in the background that are dressed for a regular mass vs. a wedding...
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