Would you ever expect your SO to upgrade your ring?

Meh.

This is really his problem, you know?

Sure she could have went about it better... like, not posting it on Facebook. But if he's willing to upgrade it to make her happy, why is that an issue?

@Kate, love the big ring shaming, nice.

OP, did she go about it the wrong way? Maybe. But hell if H wants to upgrade my ring, I'd be down. What's the problem?

It kind of seems to be about money since you started out with talking about how materialistic she is, what she drives, and what she carries on her arm.

It wasn't couth of her to post on social media something that should've been between the two of them, but she wanted it, he gave it to her, and neither affects you. If your friend is happy...which I don't know many men who walk around buying 5 carat diamonds for someone when they're miserable..then that's what matters.

(Which I took out when I saw this post going in the wrong direction)

But agreed, I guess it's different from the outside looking in. To me, the fb post was gross and unnecessary.

To them, it was different.

Not shaming him or her for wanting the finer things in life.. like I said I'm sure if I had the money I would use it on some materialist items. But that's not what I care about in life. Again, not shaming her for that.

Main reasoning for the post was asking if any woman would think this is ok, and if they would do it.. since I myself didn't think it was very tasteful

Absolutely not! I'm in love with my ring! And I think it's perfect forever. Plus I feel like the sentiment is gone once your replace it. Not a fan of the whole replacing/upgrading idea.

I don't know that it's fair to say she doesn't appreciate it. You don't really know that. Shouldn't everyone's goal be to make their spouse happy? This doesn't sound like a bad thing... If he came out and blatantly told you he's miserable in the relationship and feels like she doesn't appreciate what he does for her that's a whole different story, but doesn't sound like the case here. I don't think it's your place to judge.

From the sounds of things the only thing I would have raised an eyebrow to is how she posted it on social media. But even with that it's not worth pitying your friend over. If they can afford to do those things then let them without just putting his wife in the 'materialistic' category. Maybe I can relate more because I don't care for my engagement ring either. Do I love FH and look forward to spending the rest of our lives together? Absolutely! However, the ring he got me just isn't a piece of jewelry I would choose to wear everyday. If we had been shopping together and he had asked me if I wanted the ring I have now as an engagement ring I would have told him no. I didn't want a colored stone and my ring has a sapphire and the shank is split which I just don't care for. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful piece of jewelry...just not one I want to wear everyday forever.

YOLO

He made his bed and now he gets to lie in it. I don't personally put pictures on Facebook of gifts I've received, including my e-ring, but whatever blows your hair back.

You have no idea what their conversations are like. Maybe he has expressed to her he will do anything to make her happy. A bigger ring made her happy. Mission accomplished for both sides. I do not agree with the whole post on Facebook but I also don't live my life through posts so I don't get it

ETA: I love my ring but if FH became a multi millionaire I would live a bigger ring just as much. And I would drop hints like a mofo that I want a bigger ring

If my husband purchased an upgrade as an anniversary gift and was super excited about it sure, i would accept it, but i definitely don't want one. I would only accept it on one condition, if we can use my first stone as a necklace or some other form of jewelry. Honestly if H wanted to get me an upgrade I'd probably prefer it to be a right hand ring anyway.

I understand the point you're making, Jaclyn. And it's honestly disgusting that she would say that, at least in my opinion. Wanting a larger ring is one thing, but posting about it on Facebook? I think that's humiliating for the husband. That is no one else's business but between them.

But, it's easy for me to say because I never had a "dream ring" in mind. Everyone is ultimately going to have their own opinions and some people do want an upgrade. I just don't think she should've posted it on Facebook.

ETA: Shortened my post because I'm so wordy lol

When people tell you who they are, you should listen.

She told him. He was fine with it. Then she told Facebook.

Is it questionable? Sure. But I'm sure no one on her side (and probably his too, which is more problematic) is surprised.

Mine has hinted that he will upgrade my stone at some point, and to each is own. I love me ring, and I love that he picked it out on his own. I am most certainly not going to go about bragging about it though. My ring gets enough compliments on its own without me having to flaunt it.

I'm sorry, but that is a really gross attitude for her to have. Especially boasting it on social media!

But in context to the question, it would NEVER cross my mind to ever to upgrade my ring - Especially if he custom designed it!

Who cares... that's between him and his wife. Doesn't warrant any further conversation.

OP, if your goal was to see if anyone would upgrade their ring, then why not just ask that? Instead you posted a whole, editorialized story about your friend and his materialistic wife and your "distaste" if you will, of her behavior. I think you need to check yourself and your motives.

Personally, I'd prefer an upgraded bathroom but I'm a more practical kind of gal - LOL!

Even if we had won that ridiculous Powerball jackpot a few weeks back, I wouldn't "upgrade" my ring. This is the ring that FH picked out for me to wear every day for the rest of forever, and the ring he used to ask me to marry him. Emotions and memories mean more to me than any stone ever could.

And plus, my fingers are so small, a rock any bigger would look like a bobblehead LOL

@Firstoneat because that wasn't the goal, like I said I was seeing if any other women would have gone about it the way she did with the big social media post. Also, to see if it was distasteful or if it was just me thinking so.

@Mini that was where I was getting at, to me an engagement ring is special and should be sentimental. But starting to realize now not everyone holds sentimental value to their ring as I do mine. And that's ok.