Would it be wrong to not invite my sisters husband?

I would invite him. If other people can't still come to support you and just avoid him on your day if they have a poblem with them then that's pretty childish of them.

Unless he physically beats your sister, it is definitely wrong to not invite him.

I would talk to your sister and see how she feels about it. I know it's frowned upon to invite only one half of a couple. However, under these circumstances, I don't think it's so black and white.

Talk to your sister. Maybe she can help contain him.

I don't know all the drama and why people aren't coming. Usually if people don't get along they will suck it up for the sake of the wedding and just steer clear of each other on the wedding day. I've only had one big problem with guests in the 10 years I've worked weddings, and it was dealt with quickly.

Personally, I would think it's a little rude to not invite him if his wife and kids are in the wedding, but I see how you are really upset that people you actually want to come won't.

I would talk to your sister and also talk to the family members who are saying they won't go. Maybe if they hear how much it means to you that they are there, they will change their minds... I know that even if I had a big problem with someone in the family, I would still go to a wedding for a different family member because I'd want to be there for them.

Is your family a bunch of petulant children?

I would invite him so long as he isn't starting drama with you

I agree w/ PP...unless he's violent and dangerous, it's wrong not to invite him. If people are not going b/c he's going to be there...that's their choice. It's your wedding not his, they should be going to support you, and celebrate your day.

He's your sister's husband and therefore part of a social unit. There really isn't an etiquette out here. Unless he's been physically or emotionally abusive to other people on your guest list then I really don't see a way for you to not invite him while still including your sister and her children. Your family needs to try and grow up and come together for *one* day. And not even an entire day...just a few short hours. They don't have to interact with him even. They're supporting you and your new husband as a couple.

It might come down to who do you want there more? Your sister and her kids or these members of your family who say they won't come if your brother in law is there?

I think it would definitely be wrong not to invite him.

This 30 year old man has to open up his mouth about everything. He doesnt know when to stay out of other peoples business. The whole thing started because he doesn't like who my cousin is dating and said that if the cousins bf hurts her or her son that he will "beat his ass" which he wont, hes all talk. He does start drama with me but not about the wedding, he just likes to try to tell me how to take care of my son when he doesn't even has his own kids and inst around to help out with my sisters kids. Hes a lier and a cheater but hes not abusive as far as I know. He just runs his mouth too much. I tried to tell my cousin just to ignore him but shes keeps saying that she cant and blah blah blah. No one likes my brother in law but we put up with him because of my sister. No as far as my cousin boyfriend, I told her today that he is not invited because he is trouble and the last thing I need is for him to bring drugs or whatever and cause shit. Im really wishing right now that we just did a court house wedding! I dont want to deal with this anymore.

It would be wrong and your sister would likely not attend. It would also likely start even more drama within your family.

Ok, after reading your update - yes it would be wrong to not invite him. Your original post made it sound (at least to me) like it was more serious. Now it just sounds like a bunch of grown-ups who don't get along and are throwing a fit about being in the same room. Your cousin is overreacting. Just don't out them at the same table.

It's a tough situation, a situation where you need to be tough.

if he's so much of a problem that just his presence is keeping people away and you don't think they are being unreasonable, then I think you should have a talk with your sister. tell her the truth, that you can't have him there.

you sister has to decide for herself if she and the kids are going to come, but that's not your fault.

we had a situation like this with a guy my sister was dating. he was just too out of line, hurting and upsetting too many people. she claimed that he had to be there for everything, and we just said no. we didn't see her for a while, but when she got finally gave him the boot she said that a lot of it was because of others letting her know how they felt about him. helped her to realize what she wasn't seeing in the end.

sometimes you have to be tough. it's your day, don't let him ruin it.

He's your sister's husband, yes it would be wrong to not invite him.

I talked to my sister and she told him to ignore things and he doesnt listen so I get the feeling that this isnt going to end. Cousin just wont be there and if brother in law cant be respectful on my day then I am pretty sure my dad will kick his ass out.

You need to talk to people individually, and say something like, "I understand not everyone on the guest list thrills you, but I expect guests to keep the peace and keep the focus on celebration, not fights." Then pick a burly friend or two to escort out anyone who acts out.

This shouldnt even be an issue. This isnt about them.

He sounds like a mouthy bully, but I would still invite him. There is a chance that he will find someone to talk to, and the other family members who have a problem with him can find other people to be with. It's more important that your sister is there.

Okay so cousin is mad because he said he would beat her boyfriends ass if he hurt her or the child?

You arnt inviting cousins boyfriend because he is trouble and would bring drugs with him?

No offense, but I'm kind of on your sisters husbands side here. If someone in my family was dating someone who could potentially harm them, I would warn them too. Even though he's all talk in this, I think he's tryig to look out for your cousin and her child and that isn't something I would uninvite him because of.

I don't get the other commenters. You don't want him there? Don't invite him. WHO CARES. But it's like your sister won't come. Decide which consequence you want...

I kinda side with Heather on this one,