Worst cracker jokes needed for the wedding please!!

Why didn't the ghost go to the wedding? Because he had no 'body' to go with

I actually don't understand the cracker gift thing, even though I provided a joke. What is it?

I only read page 1 and 4, but am I the only one who thought you were requesting white people jokes? >.>

I also thought "white people" jokes and was confused until you posted the picture. Years ago, my grandmother used to get those for New Years Eve - we called them poppers. Never heard them called crackers. The jokes seem to be what you would find in any kids' riddle book - my nephew is at that stage where he LOVES these, and torments everyone around him with them.

I hope my H never finds this thread, he loves cheesy jokes, lol.

I don't understand what's going on. Cracker jokes?

You see them at Christmas a lot - you pop open a cracker and you normally get a novelty gift inside along with a bad joke lol

Two sausages were cooking in an oven. One sausage said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other sausage turned to the other in surpise and screamed, "AHH! A TALKING SAUSAGE!"

What's brown and sticky?

A Stick.

Joker: "What's green and flat with red wheels?"

ETA: Probably not good for this cracker theme though...

For those who don't know what cracker gifts are. Remember those gifts at Christmas where you pull the ends and it makes a snapping sound? That's what these are.

Each person takes one end in one hand, crossed their arms and pulls on the open end of the person they are sitting with. Uncross your arms all at the same time and they tear apart and make a "snap" or "pop" sound. Out pops your joke, a tissue paper crown and a little trinket.

They are everywhere in stores at Christmas time. Target has them. They are an old British tradition. I always have Christmas crackers at my house during the holidays so I knew what Jemma meant, but it's so funny that people thought she wanted white people jokes!

OMG, I still can't stop laughing every time I see this post come up! LOL!

I JUST ate a laffy taffy (leftover Halloween candy!) so here's the joke it had:

Why don't monsters eat clowns?

Because they taste funny

SXC - lol!!! I thought the same.... I saw all the comments and was like "oh boy, here we go."

@kristina R- go some reason, that's the one joke that kept me laughing non stop. I think it's cuz I pictured a "slap on the leg" saying it gets you all the time. Haha

Ok here's mine... It's silly.

So a horse walks into the doctors office. The doctor says "why the long face?

Lol ok maybe it's funny for children. Haha

Even after the picture was posted, I still don't know what these are. I guess I'll have to keep an eye out while Christmas shopping. The poppers that I'm familiar with are "poppers" where you throw a little bag of gunpowder or something on the ground and it makes a noise.

I didn't really think about white people jokes, I thought about duck jokes "box of quackers"

Thank you so much everyone for all of these - they are great and I'm looking forward to hearing the amused groans of everyone at the wedding!

I honestly didn't realise that you didn't have crackers in the US, they are such a big tradition in the UK. You are missing out on all the fun of testing which cracker you think has the best gift in, wearing a silly paper hat throughout the Christmas meal, getting a totally useless plastic toy (or worse, expensive crackers that try to have genuinely nice gifts in that are still totally useless!), swapping the totally useless plastic toy with your cousin for their equally useless plastic toy, and the general joy that crackers bring.

At least now you haven't missed out on the truly awful jokes that come in them too!

What are the two sexiest farm animals? Brown Chicken Brown Cow.

Call me dense...but when I saw your topic subject, I thought you meant cracker jokes, as in white cracka'! LOL

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

do-you-think-he-saurus

what do you call a blind dinosaur's pet?

do-you-think-he-saurus rex

@Kat - It seems a lot of people thought that! It never occurred to me - a UK/US language barrier I guess!