Worst cracker jokes needed for the wedding please!!

What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.

Perfect! I didn't have that one on my list. Thanks GameCox!

Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey :-)

What's green and sings? elvis parsley

Yay, thanks Tina!

Two aerials met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.

Where does the general put his armies? In his sleevies.

What did one snowman say to the other?

"Does it smell like carrots to you?"

A lady walks into a building and says to the clerk, " I'd like a cheeseburger, a drink, and fries." The clerk says, "This is a library." Then the lady whispers, "Sorry, I'd like a cheeseburger, a drink and fries.

What happens when you play a country song backwards?

You get your wife, truck and dog back.

Lol - these are great!

I had the armies one, but have added others to the list. You are genuinely contributing to my wedding as someone will get these jokes on the day!

Why was the chef late? He ran out of thyme.

What do you call a rodent's facial hair? A mouse-tache

Why was 6 made at 7?

Because 7 8 9

(seven ate nine)

::groan::

Want to hear a story about a broken pencil?

Nevermind.

It's pointless.

lmao. Gets me every time.

Thanks Paris! I thought I had that one on the list but having checked it turns out I don't, so thanks for the reminder! And "groan" is the perfect reaction :-) Cracker jokes are never going to be actually funny but they're a great icebreaker, especially when people don't know each other that well.

What happened when the owl lost his voice?

He didn't give a hoot.

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

Sorry, I can't help but these are funny. haha

Thanks Kristina - that's a good one! :-)

I've just been diagnosed with Sausagephobia.

I fear the Wurst.

My friend died in a bowl of museli, he got pulled in by a strong current.

What do you call a traveling nun?

-- a "roamin'" Catholic

Thanks MissMadeline!

What do you give a seasick elephant?

Lots of room.

What did the baby digital clock say to the mama digital clock?

Look Ma! No hands!

The past, the present, and the future all walked into a bar. It was tense

How did the Vikings send secret messages?

By norse code!

Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?

Must have been a duck family

A duck family?

Didn't you say there was a quack in it!

Where do snowmen go to dance?

A snowball!

Thanks Dminted*Bride - I had the second one (one of my favourites actually!) but not the first one, so I've added it to the list :-)

Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the alley late last night? 
One was a salted.