Woman proposing to the man

I think it's fine! It's 2016 people

Agree b2b. So glad my FH realizes it's 2016.

My guy is very traditional. If I had proposed to him, he wouldn't have taken it seriously and he definitely would have said no.

He proposed in August and he keeps nagging me to "propose" to him before the wedding. I feel like anyone can do it and that, especially today, it isn't the man's "duty".

It depends on him and you! There are no rules!

I agree it depends on the couple. Obviously, proposing because he isn't ready is a terrible idea. But like I said, it just depends. FH and I are both pretty traditional so I think he would be upset if I proposed to him, but I never would have even thought about it. Personally not a fan of it.

I agree that it depends on the couple. If you're asking him because you're tired of waiting then that's not a reason to ask. I also agree that for some men, not all but some men would feel emasculated. I know mine would. Hey I had to wait 5 years for him to ask, but he asked I see nothing wrong with it but it really depends on the couple

I think that each couple should figure out what works for them. It was really important for FH to propose to me, now looking back I wouldn't want it any other way. Really whatever works for you is what is important.

Also... change your avatar to something other than the rings!

@Nastassia: for my DF, it's his upbringing and his own values. He's 17 years older, and has very strong feelings about how a man, any man, should behave, particularly towards a woman. To be honest, it's very much not along today's standards, but I love it. I love knowing that he is ALWAYS going to stand beside me and stand up for his beliefs, morals, and values, instead of bending to what others say he should believe.

@Nastassia: for my FH, it is because of his own personal belief system, values, and background. I wouldn't have it any other way because I would have never asked him to marry me. Does it make our way of thinking superior/inferior to anyone else's? Nope. It's just not for us. This is one of those genuine "do you" threads.

I did it! I gave him a guitar pick that said "marry me?"

If people thought that was weird, screw them. It's 2016! My husband wasn't emasculated at all and we aren't any less married because I proposed to him. :-)

I don't think FH would have been emasculated per se, but I asked him once if he would mind and he said that he would. It wasn't that he wasn't sure or didn't think it was right for me to ask, but I think it was just something he was looking forward to doing. I assume men grow up thinking that it's something they'll do someday.

Here's a pic of the pick.

WHY are we still having this discussion in 2016?!?! Back in 1977, when I got married, the idea that it has to be the man proposing seemed sexist and silly. Yet now, we're still having people taking for granted that sexism is just fine.

Of course, we've also got a much different idea of what a proposal was today. Ask anyone my age, and the proposal is the occasion in which one party asks the other if they want to get married, and the second one says yes or no. So you wouldn't have some grand proposal delivered by the notice board at the football game or whatever, because what if the other party said no? And the idea that you could both propose would be ridiculous, because once you had decided to get married, there would be no such thing as a proposal. Think of it this way: If he said, "Want to go to the movies?", and she said "yes," would she really ask him if he wanted to go to the movies at that exact same time? He'd look at her like she was insane, or possibly developing Alzheimer's. Yeah, that's what a second proposal looks like to anyone my age.

But seriously, folks: Any "tradition" that says one sex must do something, and the other sex can't, is by definition sexist. Just stop it, please! And if your FI would feel "emasculated" by not being able to participate in a sexist tradition, then ask yourself what other sexism he is going to insist on in your marriage.

My FH is just very traditional and believes in certain roles. Not in a sexist kind of way he doesn't expect anything of me, but he's very traditional and it would've made him feel like less of a man so to speak had I asked. I don't think it's insecurity and I don't think there's anything right or wrong with it it just depend on the couple. Plus, I wanted to be asked. I think It's a personal preference

I think it was awesome for us to be on the same page- it was really important to me that I take the process as seriously as he did. Again- I didn't care- but it was important to him.

And I felt that if he felt THAT strongly about it- then I should do. and it was NERVE wracking- and I don't regret it for a second. We smiled and giggled and he said yes- and we put the ring on his hand- and honestly it was awesome.

But we are partners- and really I think my proposal was fair for both of us and it was worth while. Really for me- knowing that it was super important to him to propose- meant I needed to be equally serious about it and propose back.

Also- "feeling emasculated" by a proposal makes me stabby. sorry not sorry- any man who can't get past that- yeah- I feel some kind of way about that.

2d bride, catsbonin, JoRocka- YES. If my FH would say no just because I was the one to propose instead of him (I didn't, but would've), I wouldn't marry him anyway. #growapair

I'm amused. So it's okay to bash other people being HAPPY with how their SO feels/views things by calling them "sexist," because "it's 2016!!!1!!" and by disagreeing I'm perpetuating the sexism and in for a miserable life as he forces his sexist ways upon me, right?

This is EXACTLY the mindset I hate of our society today. According to society, THAT mindset is the ONLY correct mindset, and we're ALL supposed to mindlessly be open to it, and anyone that disagrees is wrong. Oh, but we should be open minded to other people's viewpoints. (As long as they don't differ from the popular ones, that is).

Absolutely insane. You know what's sexist? Saying that a man shouldn't feel this way or that because he believes in something you don't agree with. Saying that I'm going to be forced to do this or that because you don't agree with how he feels about a PROPOSAL. I've BEEN in an abusive relationship, and believe me, it sure as hell doesn't require sexism for a person to feel like they're entitled to make the other bow to their will.