Savvy September 2021

Witness Signature, moh or Best Man?

Bumblebee3, on May 11, 2021 at 10:28 AM Posted in Planning 0 4
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Hey ladies! I have a minor dilemma regarding who should sign as my witness.

I’m getting married in a few months. My cousin is my MOH, and my best (male) friend of 10+ years is my Best Man (FH also has his own Best Man). From the beginning of wedding planning, I had assumed my MOH would be standing closest to me during the ceremony as well as signing as witness, mainly in part because I was her MOH years ago and did the same for her (we’ve been close since we were little and always told each other we’d be each other’s MOHs so naturally I pictured her doing this part). However since the wedding is getting closer I have been rethinking this arrangement and have started picturing my best man taking over that part instead of her. My reasoning for this is mainly due to everything he and I have been through together, he accepted my FH right away and immediately became close friends (a huge win in my book), and throughout the wedding process he has really gone above and beyond (planning my bachelorette party when my MOH dropped the ball, always checking in/getting updates on details, making time to call and catch up on life regardless of his own incredibly busy life). It honestly seems like a no-brainer to have him stand (closest) to me during the ceremony, and to sign as witness.

Regarding my MOH, she hasn’t been involved with much of the planning. I’ve seen her once since getting engaged a year and a half ago, despite me trying to get together it’s like pulling teeth (she’s used covid as her excuse however it has not stopped her visiting other engaged friends for whom she’s a bridesmaid) and she hasn’t seen my FH since her own wedding years ago. At this point it doesn’t really make sense to have her sign in place of someone else who has been much more invested in his role, and just more present in mine and my FH’s lives in general.

If I choose to have my Best Man sign, how do I tell my cousin this? Is this even something that needs to be said in advance, or can it wait until the rehearsal? I don’t like the idea of “keeping” it from her but at the same time I don’t want her to feel blindsided by it so close to the big day.

I know this is a unique situation so I’m curious to hear your thoughts (and before anyone says it, I know this is not THAT big of a deal to many, but my FH & I are very sentimental, and a lot of what we’re looking forward to at our wedding is in the important details like this).


Latest activity by Bumblebee3, on May 11, 2021 at 2:44 PM
  • C
    Devoted April 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    We had two witnesses sign, is that an option? Otherwise, I’d have MOH sign. She’s family. It isn’t about who was more interested in wedding planning. Long term, you’re more likely to have a relationship with your cousin than your male best friend.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Don’t most states require 2 legal witnesses? I don’t think it matters who signs as someone does. Usually both the best man and maid of honor sign.

    The attendants don’t take part in wedding planning. The witnesses should be those closest and most supportive, because it is a legal document. Just grab them after the ceremony to sign it. It doesn’t need to be announced prior.

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  • Grace
    Rockstar February 2022
    Grace ·
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    I think she was saying she has both a Best Man and a Maid of Honor on her side and the groom ALSO has his own Best Man (who is acting as the second witness, presumably).

    Sounds like you really want your Best Man to stand next to you and be one of your witnesses. I would not worry about blindsiding your cousin, the Matron of Honor. Just let her know at the rehearsal that the Best Man is standing directly next to you and she should be able to figure it out from that alone. If you are having the witnesses sign durring the ceremony, just have the officiant announce the point in the rehearsal where "this is when the bride and groom's Best Men will sign the marriage license as witnesses".
    • Reply
  • B
    Savvy September 2021
    Bumblebee3 ·
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    Yes, this is exactly right, my FH already has his childhood best friend signing as his witness Smiley smile I’m definitely leaning towards my best friend signing as my witness, as well as standing next to me given all that we have been through. Love your idea of telling my MOH the standing arrangement at the rehearsal, and her kind of “connecting the dots” from there so to speak.
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