Why would you RSVP maybe to a wedding?

They will be there or not. I am just getting so frustrated and don't know even how to respond to this anymore. Any one else dealing with this? Any advice? Thanks!

Lots of factors....

-Travel?

-Baby sitter?

-Work schedules?

-Immediate family event?

But in general, people just don't get it.

Then they would be 'No' in my book. There is no room for maybe when you have to prepay for plates. You need to explain to them nicely, if possible, that they have to answer yes or no. That's ridiculous to respond maybe, it's rude. I'm hoping by sending out STDs it will cut out that problem. They will have 6 months before the invite to figure out if they can come or not.

A family of 7 just wants you to reserve a $300 table for them?!?! Come on people!

When are your exact numbers due by? I would tell everyone that if you don't hear from them by the day before, you'll have to mark them as a no.

I would have whomever you are close with that is close with the families handle this for you. That is really weird. Like, if I had a family friend that my sister was also close with, I would have her call and lay it all out about how this is not how it is done.

They all live in the same town as us or within a half hour radius so I don't think travel is the big thing here. For work schedules they all work Monday thru Friday jobs and wedding is on a Saturday. The families do have kids and the kids are more than welcome to attend so I don't think having kids is the issue here either. And 2 of the families are family of his so we had thought they would be attending but just got a maybe back.

Because they have commitment problems, obviously don't hold you as an important person in their life, and are incredibly inconsiderate and rude.

Wow, that's really rude. Especially if they've had weddings themselves. I would give them by a certain day to decide and then if they still don't know, then they're a no. And tell them that.

"I need a yes or a no by *date* or unfortunately I'm going to have to mark you off as no's."

I have never answered "Maybe" but I have put off RSVPing until close to the date because of: work schedule; child care; unsure whether I wanted to actually go; transportation to and from the venue.

However, I always made sure that I gave a definitive "Yes" or "No".

I don't understand that either. That's really annoying. You either say yes or no. There is no maybe. If I get an invitation in the mail, I mark that date off and don't schedule anything else. Or, if I already had something planned, I would reply no. If they think it would be an issue to come then they should just reply no. That really makes no sense.

@Alicia we did send save the dates in September so they had plenty of notice to try and decide if they wanted to come. I did tell them all that our final numbers and due by Monday and all I got back from all 3 families was that they don't know what to tell me and that there answer will still be maybe then and they will know closer to the wedding if they will be there. Grrr. I just can't believe how rude some people can be. I would never respond "maybe" on a wedding invitation.

RSVP's drove me insane. We didnt have any maybes but a lot missing which is never fun! I would consider those people a No and if they show up and can be accommodated, great. If not, they should have RSVPd! I'm sorry but you shouldn't just shell out some money so they can MAYBE grace you with their presence. ugh makes me mad for you haha! people are so rude!

If someone gave me a maybe that would be a no as in you are NO longer invited... Super rude, as if it doesn't cost you anything, it's a wedding not a backyard bbq!

Mindi - It sounds like you did everything possible to make it easy on people. In this situation, there is no excuse for a "maybe" RSVP, in my opinion. Like others suggested, say "I really need to give the final count to my caterer by (insert date 1 week before it's actually needed) so unfortunately, if you don't have an answer by then I will have to mark you down as a no."

I would call them back just after the deadline and tell them I needed an answer.

Something like I am prepaying for all the meals. For budget reasons, i need to know if you can attend. Oh, you are still unsure. That is completely understandable. I would have loved to have you there to share the day with us, but I will just jot down that as a no. Thank you taking the time to speak to me.

Just tell them that Yes is Yes, No is No, and Maybe is No -- and that if you don't have a YES from them by Sunday, you will not include them in the count you give the caterer.

I can understand someone RSVPing YES but then something URGENT comes up before the wedding and they have to change to No, but still saying "maybe" 4 days before final count is due caterer/venue is ridiculous.

It is driving me nuts as the family of 6 and the family of 7 are FH's Mom's brothers and their wives and kids. Not some distant relative or something. So I don't want his Mom to be upset if I just don't include them for dinner and don't have reserved seating for them and then they just decide to show up. The other one is a friend that I know known for over ten years.

I would tell them if you don't know by a certain date you're going to place them down for NO because you pay per plate and you still have to pay if they decide to not show up.. PEOPLE I SWEAR!

For the family, I would call your FMIL and ask her to talk to her brothers. These people are being so rude.