Why is it so hard for people to rsvp these days?

If you sent them out around Christmas they honestly might have gotten put in the masses of Christmas cards. We got a lot back right at the beginning and right at the end. I had my FH contact the people on his side so I didn’t have to track down everyone at least. Out of 165 we probably didn’t get back about 10-15 rsvps.

I’m june 17th ( 2 weeks after you) we haven’t sent invites yet because it’s too Soon, I wouldn’t expect my guests to be able to give me an answer four months out yet... we are sending them out the last week of March and our due date is May 4th ...

Your wedding is in June. Why in the world do you want RSVPs this early? I wouldn’t be able to answer if I lived OOT because H can’t put requests in at work more than 90 days out.

Why is it so hard to RSVP? Because you did it all wrong. Your wedding is in June. Invitations should have gone out in APRIL and your RSVP deadline should have been 4 weeks before your wedding. If you wanted to send anything before that, it should have been a save-the-date. There are reasons for these rules. The number one reason is that if you send invites 6 months early, no one is thinking about your wedding and no one is going to RSVP right away, except maybe immediate family. Invites get tossed into a drawer until they're ready to plan that far ahead, then the invite is forgotten about.

Many, many, many people have no idea what they're doing that far ahead of time and many can't ask for time off until it gets closer or they won't be told if they have time off until 4 weeks prior.

Also, expect more no-shows than average. When someone RSVPs for a wedding this early, they sometimes forget or something else comes up and they can't make it at the last minute.

In your case, you're going to have to just let it go and in May, start calling all those you haven't heard from.

I agree it can come off as rude, close family and friends, the ones who are involved on a more personal level may be more involved, but others may not be as excited or involved as you would like them to be. They see your invite is for many months out and figured they had plenty of time to RSVP... it stinks but its only human of us to really only stay track of everyday tasks... Maybe you can extend the date and send email reminders or simply just ask.

I've been reading a lot of these lately, but you said the last day is next week. Some guests assume they need to mail their RSVPs by that end date. Give it about a week or 2 after the end date to get the rest of them. If you still don't get all of them, contact them directly.

I also need to add that you sent your invites out WAY too soon, like what pps said! Your wedding is in June??

You still have another week! Relax.

Be happy people are really considering whether or not they can attend rather just sending in a yes and canceling/ no showing last minute.

View Quoted Comment There’s over 3 months before her wedding... how can they answer 100 days ahead ?

You sent your invites out way too soon. Many people have no idea what their schedule will be like this far ahead of time. Wait until May and then make your calls.

My wedding is May 19, and my RSVP date is May 1. And I haven't even sent the invites out yet...

LOL i missed that. But still even if it was closer, i'd rather people wait until deadline to be SURE they can come. No shows/ last minute cancellations are the WORST.

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You sent out invites waaaay too soon. A June wedding - invites should go out in mid March, depending on if it is early June or late June.

Folks aren't rude, you jumped the gun.

2 months is too much intermediate time. I get an invite, I see the respond date is months away, I think “oh okay, I have time I’ll deal with this later” ...6 weeks go by and I’ve mostly forgotten about it. Probably around the rsvp date I think “oh yeah I’m supposed to rsvp, gotta find where that invite went”
i think it’s less that ‘people suck’ and more that you’re asking too much from people.

Leaving aside the issue of the timing of your mailing the invitations, many people just don't value good etiquette anymore. We have people on this site who say that etiquette is stuffy, old fashioned, only for women who don't work outside the home etc etc.

It would be interesting to see how these same people react when no one rsvps to their invitations. I wonder if they would still think etiquette is irrelevant?

I sent them out in January and knowing our families if we waited until two months before the wedding most people wouldn't be able to come because they already had plans. Some people already knew they weren't able to come as of last fall because they booked trips already. The wedding is June 2nd so asking people to let us know 3 months before the wedding isn't a huge deal when it comes to our families if you actually want people to come.

View Quoted Comment That’s why you send out save the dates, not invites. We made fridge magnet save the dates so we know people would see and kinda have a reminder that something is happening in June and too take off the date - but most people can’t even ask for a date off ubrill a few months before and don’t hear from their bosses untill weeks later

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Guess the big thing is I shouldn't of followed my other families lead in how they all did their weddings. Most of our friends and families own their own business and are the bosses and can take off whenever they want plus most of them live in town anyways. Or I'm hearing from other family members "oh yeah so and so said they're coming" I feel like they should be telling me that not in passing to other people.

View Quoted Comment So that’s “how your family does it” when why it is so unsuccessful? Everyone should be on the “same page” . June in a hard month, Father’s Day, graduations, people take vacations... that’s why we used the save the date. But people can’t be sure some things until the day comes.
Even if they have a small business, a worker can’t be sure if he can get an employee to commit to a day 6 months out

You probably should have just sent out save the dates before the holidays. That way people had a heads up for the date & could start planning around it. Your invites don’t need to get mailed until 6-8 weeks before the wedding... you’ve risked them getting lost or deprioritized because people probably received them, wondered why you wanted an rsvp 3 months before your wedding, and then put the invite in a drawer and forgot about it.

I’m getting married May 19 and just ordered my invites last week. They aren’t going out until midMarch. But I sent save the dates the beginning of October.