Why do people "Invite" themselves to Weddings???????

It's soooo weird. And based on PPs on other threads, I bet a lot of these people beg for invitations and RSVP a decline or don't show up. Maybe it's a really poor, crappy attempt at making small talk.

ETA: I'm also dealing with this. Mostly with coworkers. I had the direct question yesterday "did you mail your invitations yet?" I could have lied and said no, or say yes I have and now I've basically indirectly told everybody in the room that they weren't invited. Awkward.

It's so uncomfortable!! I hate when people ask me questions about the wedding when they aren't invited. I don't want to talk about it because I don't want them to get the wrong idea. I keep it as vague as possible.

My pet peeve is not only when random people invite themselves. I also hate when people you already know tell you someone else is coming or tell you to invite someone they know. Yesterday I received a text from MOB. She asked me how many seats I had reserved for our wedding and reception. I told her we capped the list at 75 people because we want a small wedding and that's what we can afford. We've already invited everyone. Wedding is in 28 days. MOB goes "well, your great aunt and uncle whom you've invited have adult children from out of town who want to go". I was like..."ok and??" MOB did not pay for the wedding. If she did it'd be a different story, but she didn't so I had to put my foot down and tell her no.

I also had another incident last week where my "step-grandma" asked me "did you invite our cousin Debra?" I was like "no, I've never spoken with your cousin Debra except for the one time I met her at a family reunion. I really want to keep this more intimate." Then she goes "well once you figure out who's coming, send her an invite. She would really like to go. I'm using my time share and coming down to your wedding as a vacation and I have an extra room. I know she'd want to be there."

I also had an incident where someone heard the news of our engagement and went "congratulations! Your mom told me all about it. Sounds beautiful. We'll have to fly down" and I had to shut that down right away. I think weddings make some people crazy. They think that because they met you once or know your parents that they're entitled to a seat. You have to put your foot down. I've also noticed that the frequency of these comments increases the closer you get to your wedding day. At least that's been true for me.

My boss did, with a "Congratulations, I can't wait to toast you two at the wedding!" I gave him a confused look, and he's was like, "Well, if I'm even invited."

It was sooooooo awkward. And the thing is, I wouldn't have minded inviting him at all. He's really nice and fun to be around and generous so it wouldn't have cost us any extra. it's just that to get to him, we'd have get through all the extended families, all of our friends, etc. first, and we're not having that

Its very uncomfortable and I always reply "Sorry, but my guest list is full"

I've definitely had a few "I can't wait until your wedding!"

I just say, "We can't wait for our wedding either." They'll get the point when they don't get an invite....I hope.

I'm a pretty direct person. So people know how much I hate the question. And when people have directly asked me....and they have... I've told them they were not..... Exhibit A

If you have no filter you are bold enough to accept my no filter answer.

I've had that experience with a few people, mostly distant family members. My aunt on my dad's side of the family has decided to make this a family reunion and is demanding my 3 cousins (all married with children) come down for the event.

My mom has told me she'd like a table for a "reunion" of her old coworkers. Two of her old coworkers are like aunts to me, so of course will be there. But I don't remember the others. My mother bought my dress... does this give her the right to invite people?

I get that weddings are beautiful celebrations, but this ish is expensive!!

@LibraryBelle Is she paying for the wedding though? If not, the answer to your question is no.

@MsRiah... she definitely is not. Thanks!

I hate this! My grandpa's ex is trying to get buddy buddy with me lately and I believe it's because she wants an invite to the wedding. HELL NO! haha.

Then my Aunt is a whole different story. She doesn't know what Immediate family/Intimate Ceremony means and tells me I should re-consider inviting her to our ceremony because when I told her siblings, she thought that meant Parent's Siblings. WTF

I've had people straight up say " I better be invited! Haha" they act like they're joking but they're really not. So awkward

I only had the "I better get an invitation" message from one person and they were not invited.

I've had quite a few people do the same and I just do the polite "Oh we haven't even thought of our guest list yet" or the (in our case more relevant) "venue can only hold a certain amount so it has to be immediate family and friends." it works and usually isn't brought up again

I had a girl I see maybe once a year write on my FB "I can't wait for your bachlorette party. We are going to have a blast"..... I haven't even seen her since we got engaged (December) so yeah, I just ignored that message. hahaha

As soon as we announced our engagement on FB, FH's phone was blowing up with congrats and "I can't to be there" like WTF!

I commented on another thread the other day how my FMIL told me there would be "crashers" no matter what and I said NO there will not be. She went on to say well you can't just ask someone to leave and I said WATCH ME!

This is the reason why i do not even discuss my weeding on facebook.

If I did it would be far worse! I just need to make it through these last few months

I had a girl I knew a few years ago, but am not close with anymore, ask to be invited to the wedding/bachelorette. But she never asked me herself, even though she has my number and we are friends on FB/Snapchat. She asked my MOH and couldn't even be bothered to spell my name correctly.

She also tried to get her husband (who H had met once!) to be in the wedding party and kept tagging H and I in those choreographed wedding party videos and volunteering her husband to be in them.

Needless to say, she was invited to neither the bachelorette or the wedding.

Because everyone loves a party...that, and on some level its a stroke to their ego. Think about it. This is supposed to be the biggest day of your life, surrounded by the people that mean the most to you. If you're invited to a wedding clearly you're important to that person/couple.

I've had so many people from high school I haven't talked to in over a year telling me they better be invited. I invited them and the guy I've known since I moved down south in 3rd grade said he better be invited so I invited him. Now he "cant go" because his girlfriend told him no because no one likes her. He is still going down to Charleston the weekend of my wedding, but not showing up. He thinks I don't know that little detail.