Who to tip and how much?

I would love to hear these opinions as well. This is where I am lost when it comes to wedding planning! The only vendor we have where the tip is ncluded is the catering.

As expensive as it sounds, it is polite to tip everyone if you can afford it. If the venue has an event coordinator, you should put them on the list as well.

I know a lot of brides will probably disagree with this statement because you are paying for their services, so generally speaking you paying them is basically a tip. This is not true from the vendor's stand point. It is etiquette and good manners.

We are getting married in Charlevoix, MI.. the cost of everything is increased up there due to our venue.. which kind of stinks.. but here are our tip amounts:

Guitarist (Ceremony Music) - $50

DJ - $125

Photobooth Attendant - $50

Officiant (we just found him online) - $50

DOC (provided by venue) - $150

Bartenders (x2) - $50 ($100 total)

Waitstaff (x8) - $25 ($200 total.. given to catering person to distribute)

Chef - $100

We're getting envelopes ready ahead of time and if we think they earned it, they get the tip. We're already paying them for their services, so it's for those who do a great job.. but we're pretty big on tipping, so unless they really screw up, they'll probably get their envelope!

Okay I don't want to butt in or hijack your post, but I do have a question that is related... We hired an officiant that works for civil ceremonies. He charged us his standard fee. Do we have to tip?

I am so confused because I read that you have to tip the officiant if it's a pastor/priest etc, because they are doing it for a donation to the church. However, this is clearly not that situation. So.... do we tip?!

I researched tipping not too long ago and this is the best thing I've found: http://apaperproposal.com/2011-1-30

Also you mentioned a 20% charge for catering. My venue lists a 20% "service fee" for catering and I was very confused as to whether this was gratuity. Just yesterday I went ahead and asked my coordinator because I wanted to make sure I was paying what I should be. She said the service charge actually just pays staff who are helping with the event... servers, bartenders, etc. It is their wages. I'm not sure if this is the same for every caterer though!

Our catering contract states that tips are included.. but FH and I have both worked in the service industry and really appreciate what they do. If everything runs smoothly and they help to make our day wonderful then they get their tips!

About the officiant.. I've heard that if you know that pastor/priest/officiant personally than a tip can be considered offensive to their position, so a donation to their church or organization is suggested. We found our officiant online, he is a pastor, but no where that we know of or have ever been to.. so we're treating him like any other vendor. He'll get a tip if he does everything well!

We tipped people who work for or under minimum wage. Although our venue also included an 18% gratuity, we left extra because those people were beyond incredible.

The other vendors got a gift in cash, but I don't think about it as a tip. In my mind, a tip is a percentage of the service, and we definitely didn't do that. There's no way I would have added a 20% tip to a 2.5K photography package. We gave between $50 and $200 as a cash gift.

@Ella, we gave extra money to the officiant, but VA has some bizarre regulations for how much registered officiants can charge, and that was definitely not enough.

As an independent officiant, I can weigh in on that part. A pastor/priest/rabbi attached to a congregation is going to be paid a salary (and may also have obligations that prevent them from doing a lot of non member weddings). Someone like me is not; my job is officiating for weddings, and I charge a fee. I would say that I receive a tip about half the time, but I honestly don't expect it.

I know it sounds corny, but an honest review here, a thank you note and a big hug constitute the best tip I could ever get from a couple.

Your limo company will probably add a gratuity. Good to ask about that. Ditto with the venue. If they are charging a service charge, that is probably covering the staff salary; it's not a tip.

Photog, DJ; no

Musicians; probably not unless they did something outrageously great

MUA and hair? maybe a little

And while I'm at it? Don't allow tip cups at the bar. If your guests want to tip the

BT's, they will and the BT's should discretely hide the bills, but a tip cup at a hosted event is gross.

How much shoudl I tip a venue? If the 20% service charge is to cover the staff...

Jingles202, check with the venue what exactly the service charge is. Ours was really the gratuity that went to the staff.

Thanks for all of your help! @Celia and Samantha Renee, you've been very helpful. If there is a tip cup set up at our bar, we'll be superrrrr angry! We are hosting a full bar, and we've already asked that one not be set out because we'll be tipping for that, of course!! I completely agree--it would be so embarrassing to me. I really thought the musicians should be tipped for some reason, but I'm pumped to find out it's not a MUST.

@Future Mrs. B-- Charlevoix is so pretty! I love it up there!

This is interesting. Yesterday vendor told me I have to tip the photographer 15% which is outrageous. Thanks for the advice.

There is no way my photo and video people are getting 15%

My doc said 100-200 per

Both are business owners but If they do a good job I'm still tipping-- especially because they still have the final project to work on lol

Here is something I found on Pinterest about tipping a while ago. I was planning to use this as a guide.

http://pinterest.com/pin/276549233339805195/

Another Question? So now I have an idea of who I am going to tip, and how much.

Who are you having pass out your tip envelopes? For vendors I will pay the day of DJ Driver should I give them 2 separate envelopes one with payment one with tip and thank you note?

Gratuity is included in their fee. However, those that provide excellent service will receive an additional tip which we are mailing in a thank you notes after the reception.

I have honestly never heard of a photographer being tipped. The percent thing is weird too, because it means that people who essentially do the same job get tipped different amounts based on what was billed out, which really isn't fair (like the waiters serving a chicken dinner get less than the ones serving roast beef; it just doesn't make any sense....)

For the venue staff, I would find out exactly what the staff is paid out of that '20% gratuity", and if it's a tip or their salary. I hate pricing that isn't transparent. If that is their salary, and you really feel that they went above and beyond, 10-35. per server is fine. I never understood why bartenders got to accept tips at the bar and then got tipped from the hosts too, but that's just me.

As for being told to tip someone 15%? That's the surest way to insure that I won't.

I'd let your planner do it, or maybe your best man or maid of honor. You are going to be very busy, and vendors may leave and not interrupt you.

This is a good post. I'm in Indiana, so I can relate. I've gone back and forth with all of this too.

As florists, we don't expect tips. I've gotten them, but they always surprise me. Best one I ever received was 20% (and I never saw it coming). What I love are the handwritten thank you notes I receive after the wedding. They're not required, of course...guess that's why I love them, and save them.