Who should pay for a second dinner reception?

Yeah that would make me uncomfortable also. I would talk to FH and see if he actually KNOWS the people she is wanting to have a reception with. IF yes I would offer to pay for half of it, if he wants this. She should pick up the other half. Unless she is paying for your wedding, she gets no say to the location or any details. MY FIL's (actually already IL's) are so distant from their siblings and don't speak to them or some don't speak to each other etc. It is really a damn shame if you ask me that grown adults cannot maintain a relationship, even with fights over stupid shit like hunting, abortion views, obamacare views etc. Needless to say, his parents and sister are the only ones he invited.

She should pay for ALL of it. It's her fault she's not "comfortable" inviting her friends to Seattle (whatever that's about...)

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the twilight zone on wedding wire. Why does everyone parents think they get prior approval over their children weddings. Is this just a wedding thing or are they just overbearing parents in real life.

If she's choosing to host a second dinner, then as the host she should be paying for it.

Oh. she wants YOU to host a second dinner.. umm no? can you politely tell her that you've chosen to have a rehearsal dinner/ wedding in seattle.. and if SHE would like to host a second dinner for her friends, you would be happy to attend. but hosting a second dinner is not within your budget. also remind her that she is more than welcome to invite guests to the events you had already planned.

Asking you to host a second reception for her convenience and the convenience of her friends is crossing a line. I probably wouldn't have the nerve to ask one of my kids to do something like that, but if I did, I would certainly add that we were footing the bill.

I noticed that your wedding is not until August, 2016. If you haven't secured your venue yet, this may be her way of trying to push you toward changing the location. She may feel that you wouldn't want to host a second reception due to expenses, and she may be hoping that you rethink your decision to have the wedding in Seattle.

Of course, you have to discuss this with your FH. Mothers can be very persuasive, so if this is something you do not want to spend your money on, then make your position clear. Most adults do not live at home until they are married. They have lives and careers, sometimes far from home. You have the right to get married where you want to get married, and you have the right to invite whomever you choose. His parents will attend, but if their friends can't, so be it.

I'm sorry but I would not have anything to do with a second reception simply because she's not happy that the wedding is in Seattle. If her friends can't make it, they can decline. Just because she wants this doesn't mean you have to do it. Just say no.

I agree with Hannah. Tell her you cant afford 2 receptions (the first one would be your reception, and the 2nd would be a wedding party). Offer to pay for accommodations. If she says she wants to pay for, host, and plan a wedding party for you two when you get back she will have to pay for it. You cant get blood from a turnip!

Boy, she has some big ones....it's completely off the chart rude for her to even suggest this, and a little passive aggressive to tell you she has no guests ..."however"..

Every wedding is a destination wedding for some of the guests unless EVERYONE lives locally, which is very, very rare. You've made a decision and unless you want to have this conversation every week until the summer of 2016, you need to clear this up now; she has time to plan and pay for a second party. She doesn't get approval over your decisions.

Try this on for size;

"Of course we would love to have your friends join us on our wedding day, and we understand that the location may be difficult for them. If you'd like to arrange a casual celebration near you/them, we would be honored, but we cannot afford to host it."

Wow...she wants YOU to host a second reception. That's funny.

My FMIL wants the same thing, to be able to invite all of her friends to the wedding, but most wont be able to attend since it's in the States. BUT big difference is she and FFIL will be paying for this second reception.

Umm no.. If she want's a second dinner reception she can pay for it. You're not here to entertain her friends that you don't know. If she wants to entertain them it can be on her dime.

How inconsiderate of you - to have your wedding close to where *you* live and make your life. How inconsiderate of your FI to choose to make a life apparently somewhere not near his mother. I CANNOT IMAGINE WHY HE CHOSE TO DO THAT.

Seriously, this is nutso. You host a wedding and a reception. If she wants to throw you a party, that's on her. If she can't afford that on her own, also on her.

The parents of the groom are supposed to pay for a rehearsal dinner, so I see no reason why they can't pay for a reception dinner for their friends.

That is absolutely her responsibility. Don't be afraid to give a very firm "no" if she doesn't agree to foot the bill.

Well neither are the brides parents "supposed" to pay for the wedding. The point is it IS customary for the parents of the groom to pay for the rehearsal dinner just like it is customary for the brides parents to pay for the wedding. My point was they obviously aren't paying for anything and if they want something for just their friends they can pay it!

Definitely inappropriate of her. Talk with your FH, make sure the two of you are in agreement, and then give her a response. I think Celia's suggestion was well phrased.

This is ridiculous. If she want a 2nd dinner in her area then she need to pay 100% of the cost and take care of all the arrangements.

I agree with Monica B & the majority. She's out of line in my opinion.