Who pays for dinner the night before the wedding and what is the point of a rehearsal dinner?

If you are asking your wedding party to be at the rehearsal, then you need to feed them. That's what the rehearsal dinner is for. If you want to invite others that are not in the wedding, that's fine but you still need to foot the bill.

Its definitely rude. The rehearsal dinner is your gift to those participating and parents and in some cases out of town guests as well. It doesnt have to be something fancy some people choose to do pizza to keep costs down

Tradition or etiquette guides tend to say the groom's parents host a rehearsal dinner. But, this is somewhat old fashioned and only happens if they offer. Basically, if you're having a rehearsal, you need to host a dinner, even if it's just pizza. Unless, someone else offers to host and pay for it, it's your responsibility.

You pay to host your guests that are attending your rehearsal. If you need to go cheap order pizza and salad. You have to feed them something and provide a bev.

Well my question is, for the people that aren't attending the rehearsal dinner - Do i still pay for them? even if its their choice to meet us? Honest question. Not trying to be rude (which is why i'm asking)

ETA: Its not about going cheap, per say, but, the way it works in my large co-dependent family (think my big fat greek wedding) is that i'll invite 2 and 17 show up.. (I love that my family is like this BTW)

I would just skip the rehearsal dinner if it's small and there's nothing to rehearse. I mean, it doesn't sound like you can spare much of a budget - which is fine - but then just limit the activities

@Taylor is correct. The RD is a dinner for your wedding party because they took the time out of their schedules to do the rehearsal with you. Pay for their dinner. Don't be rude and have them drive 5 hours (both ways) without at least paying for their meal.

ETA- You shouldn't have had an open invitation then...only made it for the wedding party and been stern with it.

Yes, you still pay. You can't host some guests and leave others to cover their own costs.

But it is perfectly acceptable to skip rehearsing entirely (you don't really need a separate meeting to teach people how to walk in a straight line and then stand still.) Then you don't have to host anyone at all, and you can feel free to let people know you will be hanging around at X location at Y time if they want to stop by and see you.

@Judi- If you are just giving them and option to join you just to hang out...I don't see any issue with letting them know your only paying for bridal party.

Judi I wouldn't invite everyone. I would only invite the bridal party and immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents). If you extend the invitation, even if it's just "hey feel free to meet us here!" then you should pay for them.

You pay and don't ask anyone to pay for their meal. You are asking these people to travel, pay for hotels, attire, gifts, hair and MU and your going to ask them pay for their meal? Just don't have a rehearsal and then you will be fine.

Also you don't have to invite OOT guests to that. Just BP, their SO's, parents and officiant.

Oh, and you pay. There is no such thing as a tradition that forces other people to pay for the parties you want. Historically the groom's family often hosted the rehearsal, but it's not required. If they offer that's fine, but otherwise it is your responsibility.

If you are having a rehearsal, you pay for the dinner for the BP, their SO"s and immdiate family. In most cases, a rehearsal is pointless, so you don't need a dinner.

You can absolutely let people know if you're going to hang out casually somewhere but once you formally invite them, you pay for them.

I would feel awkward paying for only some people. Like, socially i would be feeling squicky about that.

The groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner, traditionally, but if they haven't offered then you should pay for your guests. The only people who really need to be invited are the wedding party and immediate families. You can invite out-of-town guests if your budget allows, but I would make very specific who is invited (we are sending out separate invitations for the rehearsal dinner, but if you don't want to do this then maybe you can send an evite?). You don't want to convey an open-ended invitation, that will just create confusion. And either way, if you are inviting people they will expect you to foot the bill. I say just keep the guest list small and send out an Evite so people know they are invited!

I would say it is strictly bridal party and family with their SO's. The rehearsal itself is to prepare bridal party and family members for the ettiquette involved in the ceremony part of your wedding. After that, you feed them and gives gifts if within the budget. Do not invite anyone else. You're spending enough on the whole wedding and feeding those OOt already.

An evite is a great idea!

regarding not having a rehearsal at all, there are children in the party and there is more that they do than just stand there (there are ceremonies that require bp assistance) so I do have to have a rehearsal... ill just make a guest list and keep it as small as possible... anyone who tags along will probably be a close friend or family anyway... no big deal!

if I don't have one, then I'll make it a more casual invite. regardless of who pays we all gotta eat!

lol

If you host a rehearsal, you must host a RD. Otherwise that would be very rude. Just invite your immediate families, bridal party and their SO/children - the other OOT guests don't need to be there!

The point of the rehearsal is to practice the ceremony and get everybody on the same page for what will be happening the next day. You don't want some people thinking things will be happening at one time when they are at a completely different time. It's so everything runs smoothly on your most special day. Ideas on helping your dilemma would be to have a very casual setting. Think day time rehearsal (that's what we are doing), luncheon at your house before with a local restaurant catering. This could cut down costs and maybe those people who just want to meet you and your fiance would just come and say hello. You could also do something special for the bridal party after when its just you guys to help make them feel special.

Weddings aren't actually rocket science. As long as someone knows the order of events, they can tell people what to do on the day of the wedding.

If you choose to have a rehearsal, then, if no one else offers to host the rehearsal dinner, it's on the bride and groom to host a dinner for the wedding party. Normally the immediate family is included: parents, siblings and spouses, and grandparents.

If you can't afford to host all the OOT's, you can relax, it's not necessary.

If you so choose, you could compromise by inviting the OOT's to join you for coffee and possibly dessert after the RD.,