Who pays for bar at reception

@Boudreau I saw that, but I thought maybe she just showed up here to entertain us. A lot of those popping up recently.

Marie- are you the bride or mother of the bride?

Seriously. We need to know.

You...

Don't ask for money. If the Groom's parents wanted to help pay, they would offer on their own. Has the subject of the bar come up at all in planning the wedding? It seems odd that the bride's parents aren't planning to cover that along with the rest of the costs, since alcohol is a large part of the reception budget.

Regardless, if her parents aren't going to cover it, the couple needs to save up and pay for the bar. Many people these days pay for their entire wedding, so this bride and groom should consider themselves lucky.

Are you mother of the bride???

Is this a trick question? The bride and groom pay for it.

Unless parents offer, they should never be expected or asked to pay for any part of a wedding. If no one offers to help financially, then the couple to be married are on their own to foot the entire bill.

The reception is a thank you to the guests for attending the wedding ceremony, so they should not have to open their wallets for alcohol under any circumstances. Have an open bar with a minimum of beer and wine (and a signature cocktail if budget allows).

You are responsible for all expenses until someone else offers to cover otherwise.

Hey guys, just a reminder that we can't follow people from post to post to draw negative attention on them.

Obviously not all of these posts are doing that, but I think there are some that are.

And to answer your question OP, I think it would be extremely rude to ask someone else to pay for something you cannot afford. The groom's parents have their own things that they need to pay for.

It sounds like this is the Mother of the Bride???

I didn't even realise that this double ring was THAT double ring! Lordy, who actually pays that much attention to their names? Double rings are like my one night stands in Uni, lucky if I remember them an hour later!

It's sounding to me like OP is a parent of the brides... considering original post days both that, "parents of bride are paying" and also that "no one has offered to pay anything" so I would assume if the OP is the parent of the bride they're saying no one ELSE besides them are offering to pay. At least that's what I got.

Congratulations you are an adult. No on should offer to pay anything.

OP, generally it's up to the bride and groom to cover everything, as it is their wedding.

Very very generous of brides family to chip in and pay for a lot of the expenses but I would assume (if you're the bride or MOB) that the bride and groom would pay for the alcohol.

Old/traditional wedding etiquette states that the grooms family generally funds the rehersal dinner, but again, times have changed so this is not the norm.

FH and I are paying for everything except for the rehersal dinner which my FH politely asked his father if he wanted to help and he was more than happy too. But that's my situation, I fully expected to pay for everything and got lucky, but didn't anticipate any help from family at all.

Definitely don't ask. If FH parents say "hey, what can we help pay for?" You can certainly mention that the bar tab could get pricey. My family was really upfront about everything and just asked me what they could pay for. I know not all families have that dynamic.

I should add that FH parents aren't paying for anything and we never expected them to. Just because brides family offers doesn't mean grooms family should feel obligated in any way.

Yes, I believe @Marie is the MOB. So 90% of the responses here were not applicable, because clearly the bride and groom are not paying for their own wedding. And that's perfectly fine, as long as the parents offered to pay.

@Marie, if you have offered to pay for the whole wedding and given a dollar figure to that offer, I would probably include the cost of the bar in that figure. It doesn't sound like it's going to come from anywhere else...

You don't ask people for money. They have to *offer.* It's not that hard of a concept to understand. If they wanted to pay for the bar, they'd pay for the bar; and they'd make it known they intended to pay. You don't just ask someone to pay for something, especially when they never intended to in the first place. It's rude.

@Ohheyitscait, while that is true, I believe you can refer to previous posts by a user *if* it is relevant to the new thread or any comments they may make in that thread..

A similar example to this situation, and I just logged on so I may have my facts misconstrued (consider it a "the more you know" if I'm wrong), if a user posts a question, "posts and ghosts", and then proceeds to create other threads with one question posted in each, it is OK to remind them in one of the threads that they could have condensed this all into one thread.

Other examples would be someone hiding a thread because they were informed their idea was rude and then making a new one with the same question (and possibly mentioning NO RUDE COMMENTS PLEASE); catching a troll in a lie (we had a troll once who used one account, just changed their photo name, and I caught them based on prior posts conflicting with their latest post); and also someone carrying drama from one thread into another via passive jabs, blatant personal attacks, etc.

ETA: I remember reading this after the new CGs came out a few months ago. Someone asked this question about referring to other posts and this was the explanation given that I can remember.

You pay.

@jay I couldn't have said it better myself.

Ok thanks for clarifying @jay! I just didn't want anyone banned!