Who is right/wrong?

Agree with this 100%. Would he be upset if you had a conversation with a female delivery driver about your wedding? Doubtful. So no, he doesn't trust you.

Woah this is a lot to unpack, like a lot a lot. I have a pretty strong feeling that one of you (or maybe both) have been in a previous relationship that involved some kind of infidelity and/or emotional abuse/manipulation/controlling issues that has now set a very restrictive tone for your current relationship. What the two of you are mutually calling "respect" sounds much more like "I cannot be in the same room with someone of the opposite sex because I cannot control myself to not cheat"...or the partner cannot trust that the other will not cheat. You start your note by saying you trust each other, but it honestly sounds like there is zero trust in this relationship.

Some big questions that only you can answer is this: are you upset because he had lunch with someone of the opposite sex, or are you upset that he is mad at you over something when he has done basically the same thing? You say you feel that chatting in the driveway would've been fine but in the living room would be inappropriate - why is that? Is it because if a neighbor looked out the window they could see you but if you were inside they'd only see a car that isn't your husband's and would assume the worst? I'm really struggling to wrap my head around this, and think this will involve the two of you (and in the best case a therapist) sitting down and really discussing the root reasons WHY you have created these controlling relationship rules?

My biggest concern is that you are both so threatened by your partner JUST TALKING with a member of the opposite sex in what I'd see as perfectly harmless social settings. For those issues, I'd definitely recommend you get some counseling asap. I don't know what happened in your pasts that makes you both so sensitive to what I'd see as completely normal social interactions, but I'd try to figure that out. Aside from that, different people have different communication styles. My husband (like his mother, and pretty much every other member of his huge family) is an extreme extrovert -- that man can literally have a 45 minute conversation with any random stranger. So he has had lengthy personal conversations with delivery people, mail carriers, store clerks, someone at the gym, you name it. In 34+ years I've NEVER been threatened or upset about those conversations (unless he lost track of time and made us late for something because he was chatting up a stranger...). At the same time, my BEST FRIEND at work is male. When our schedules cross, we have lengthy conversations that I thoroughly enjoy and look forward to. I am NOT in any way "attracted" to him. He's a colleague and a friend I enjoy talking with. There is a lot of research that suggests people in healthy long term relationships who have a well developed network of other friends/family are MUCH HAPPIER in their marriages/etc., than those who rely too much on each other for social interaction and support. Good luck to you, but I agree there are some red flags in the situations you've shared.

Not to be rude, but your fiance is being absolutely ridiculous. You talked to a delivery driver, WHO CARES. Throughout life, you'll deal with men in a professional way, personal way, and many other ways that aren't your fiance. If he can't trust you to talk to a delivery driver, I'd be taking a hard look at this relationship before I married him.

Joining the chorus - this is not just a red flag, this is controlling, abusive behavior, MORE on his end, but your jealousy of female coworkers is concerning as well.

I'm not even sure I'd recommend couples' counseling, so much as I would recommend ending this relationship and getting OUT. Going to therapy for yourself, yes, but ... anyone who won't let you talk to others is going to get worse.

This sounds like a Mike Pence situation where he won't eat dinner with any woman other than his wife. Which btw, is insane.

It's 100% totally normal for people to interact with people of the opposite gender/sex in non-sexual, non-intimate, non-romantic, completely platonic ways. In fact, everyday life would be pretty darn complicated if this was not the case. For goodness sakes is he the only one who answers the door when the the pizza delivery driver is male? Are you only "allowed" to get pulled over by a female cop? Are all of your medical providers (doctor, nurse, dental hygienist, dentist, optometrist, etc) female and all of his male?

When my FH and I started dating I had been planning a camping trip with a male friend. A 3 day, 2 night getaway to a national park about 6 hours away where we were going to spend the weekend rock climbing. My now-FH stayed at my place the night before and I was an hour late getting to my friends house the morning we were supposed to leave. You know who was upset about this situation? Absolutely no one. My FH thought it was awesome I was going and doing fun things on my own and had my own life and own friends, and my friend was super psyched I met an awesome guy that was worth losing an hour of climbing time for. That friend will be officiating our wedding this May.

You say you trust and respect each other but if you are worried about him having lunch with a female co-worker and he's upset that you had a conversation with a male delivery truck driver that clearly isn't the case. I would absolutely not be marrying someone who was so controlling of my actions and trying to guilt me for interacting with other humans in a normal, 100% socially acceptable way. As others have mentioned, there are some big red flags here, and like they have suggested, counseling would probably benefit you both individually, as well as your relationship.