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VIP April 2014

"Who gives the bride away?" issues

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erin, on April 1, 2014 at 3:06 PM

Posted in Planning 23

So FH and I just went over the wedding ceremony that our officiant sent us. It included the dreaded, "Who gives the bride away?". I consider myself a feminist and find this line really troubling. It comes from a historical past that treated women as objects and I really don't like that I'm being...

So... we asked our officiant to change it to:

Officiant: "Does (name) have (his/her) family's blessing to marry (name)?

Answer: "(He/she) does"

This will be asked of both sets of parents, so that the focus is on getting blessings from them instead.

Anyone else have issues with the "giving away of the bride" and doing something different?

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23 Comments

Super August 2014
Sarah · on April 1, 2014 at 3:46 PM
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I'm walking down the aisle by myself. I don't believe in having anyone give me away.
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Master July 2012
Jessica · on April 1, 2014 at 3:48 PM
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We did a "support of the families" thing also. We're both young enough and have such small families that we only included parents in this, no children to involve. This done mid-ceremony before we exchanged our own vows.

Copied it from our ceremony below:

Kyle and Jessica would like to acknowledge their parents, whose love, support, and nurturing is such an essential part of who they are today.

C, will you please stand?

J and T will you please stand?

C, you stand before us, symbolizing the traditions and family from which Kyle comes from. Do you willingly and gladly support this union?

(C: I Do)

J and T, you stand before us, symbolizing the traditions and family from which Jessica comes from. Do you willingly and gladly support this union?

(J & T: We Do)

Thank you. (Parents retake their seats)
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Devoted September 2014
Gillian & Lendyl · on April 1, 2014 at 3:50 PM
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I'm doing the same thing as courtney - both of his parents are walking him down, both of my parents are walking me down, and none of the parents will say anything. it is a fine balance of doing a few important things that make my dad happy while sticking to who i am at the core. his parents never considered walking him down but they seem excited to have a bigger role.
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