What's a Wishing Well?

A wishing well is usually a box or item designed to look like a wishing well. It means they want you to bring a cash gift in an envelope and put it in the wishing well.

I agree it's incredibly rude to put those things on an invite, especially the "wishing well" part. Essentially they are being cheap and making people pay for their wedding. To bad it's FH's sister or I would definitely suggest skipping it.

That is rude. The wishing well definitely should not have been put on the invite! I would probably do the same thing - bring a gift just to be defiant.

It's bad enough they are doing a wishing well, it's even worse that they put any gift info on the invite,

Technically, cash IS a gift...

I never understand why people think that it's acceptable to put things on the invite. Let people get you whatever they want. Gifts are just that: gifts. And when you start specifying, you sound pretty entitled. I got a wedding invite once that ended with, "We live in a small, one bedroom apartment, please no boxed gifts." Not sure why they thought that made it ok, but ironically, a few weeks before the wedding, they bought a house...

That is screaming wrong in so many ways. For me, it would mean I don't go. I'll be wishing you well from my house.

No boxed gifts? Fine...no gift at all. Problem solved.

I am doing a wishing well as my card box mostly because me and my FH will be together for 19 years by the time we get married. We need nothing. But I most certainly would not put that in a invitation. I also seen a wishing well at a wedding years ago and thought it was so beautiful. I can care less if anyone gives us anything, them being there to celebrate the most important day of our lives is gift enough for me. To be fair maybe the wedding has put her in a financial situation which does not make it right for her to put that in the invite and maybe that means she needs to scale back a little to keep it affordable. With it being FH sister I would definitely go but if you want to give a gift instead of money in a card that's totally up to you. I sure do like the idea of giving a gift when people greedily ask for money though, if everyone that came did that OMG that would be hilarious!!!!

I've never heard of wishing wells!

I'd probably go but take a gift and put in an envelope in the wishing well with a note saying I feel much more comfortable giving them a gift and that I hope they appreciate the gift.

All the wishing wells i have seen are for people to write well wishes on little cards and drop them in.

Like MrsCountryLace the wishing wells I've seen were for advice and greetings. They had little cards to drop in.

I am currently doing a wishing well because we have been blessed to reach a place to where we have everything we need and the only gift I would like is a house, so unless someone will gift me a house, a wishing well wedding it will be so I can start a down payment. People can do what they want with their wedding, you've already been invited to eat so that means free food for you and you cant just figure out how to put money into a card?

I think the comments are incredibly one sided and huge assumptions on their part. I am thinking of doing a wishing well (cash in lieu of gifts) because I am getting married away from my home. Carting all the gifts 500 miles back to my home would be difficult so instructions in the invite and/or on our wedding website are necessary! Why do people who choose to ask for cash instead of a gift have to be deemed greedy or rude? C'mon humans, have a heart! You were gonna spend the money anyway lol! Who's really being rude if they ask for cash...shoot them some cash and don't be mean about it by acting like a teenager and doing what you want to do out of spite. Most of the time I'd rather give cash because WHO nowadays has time to go to a store or wants to go through pages of a registry online...UHG can I please just give you some cash???? Y'all are koo koo lol

I had a Wishing Well at my wedding, but frankly, it wasn't a cash grab. It was there as a place to put cards. It was on a table where people could place gifts, if they brought one, or place the card in Well, if they brought one, so it wouldn't fall or get misplaced. I did not include it on the invite, and did not expect anyone to bring a gift or a card. But, it was pretty, and fit with the decorations! Also, it was deep enough that you couldn't see into it anyway, unless you were really looking, so no one knew who did or didn't bring anything anyway.

All 3 of the "instructions" on that invite are fairly unpalatable. I have to wonder who advises people to (or fails to advise them NOT to) do things like this.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with you. I did a wishing well to my my wedding. To be honest a absolutely hated go shopping for wedding gifts, I harder put some money in a card and done! Problem solved. What a brunch of grumpy people here. Come on people is 2019 nobody give gifts anymore. Having a wishing well doesn’t mean that we (bride and groom) need money. All the money that I get I’ll donate to a Cancer hospital in São Paulo and a dog rescue place in Greece. Before make so much horrible comments just think that people can do whatever they want to the money instead receive I set of pans that we don’t need.

View Quoted Comment Basic manners, you do not invite people to come give you money. Gifts are the giver's choice, not the recipient's, unless each giver asks for suggestions. The hosts said, no gifts. Respect that. No need whatsoever to put any gift of money in that. No need to give them any gift of money directly. . . People who host a reception do it the way they want, meal or no meal. But guests are not supposed to pay for it . The wedding hosts are. Gifts are not an exchange for the meal. It is not that everyone cannot figure out how to put money in an envelope. It is that there is never any need to accede to the rude requests of others, at their wedding or any other time.

View Quoted Comment No one is giving gifts? Do a little research, find out the billions of dollars of wedding gifts that are not money that are given each year. Maybe your crowd is all about money money money ( and no manners.) Not true of everyone. People do give non monetary gifts in 2019. For the wedding I attended 2 weeks ago, not my family, all but one person who attended their wedding, had sent a boxed gift, or sent it this last week to their new home. I helped put stamps on the thank you notes Sunday. That is pretty typical. . . . As for our wedding gifts other than money only, not counting shower gifts, we sent thank you notes for 240. Including wedding party, 170 adults at the wedding. The rest were gifts sent by friends and family not invited to the wedding, who sent them with their wishes for happiness. And a half dozen people who were invited but could not come sent them. . . . And our friends and family put some thought and effort into them. Only one gift we did not like and thought we would never use, though in the end, we did use it. We only out 10 items on a registry. People thought up the rest of our nice gifts. It is possible, when people know you well, and care for you. We did receive some money from older relatives. . . Nice to hear that your choice of gifts is made because you hate being bothered to put any effort into selecting a gift for anyone but yourself. Heartwarming. It must make your friends and family happy to know how you value them.

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This is your opinion, as I have mine. I don't need to do any research. I don't even remember when I bought a gift to a wedding. When people ask for a wishing well they are not expecting to people pay back a meal (don't be ridiculous!). Some people ask money for holidays, for new kitchen, for a charity, for a new car and so what? What's the point to buy a gift to someone that already have everything? The all money that we received will be donate (as our choice) but funny enough we being advised of not telling people about donation otherwise people give you peanuts but this is the bride and groom choice. I think you need to do a research as more and more people don't want gifts and wants money to do and buy whatever they want.

View Quoted Comment Why do people think that by giving cash they are paying for their meal? Your meal is paid for. And i truly don’t see the difference between buying a gift or gifting the cash you would have spent on the gift...unless you were gonna be super cheap with your gift and putting $20 in an envelope would be embarrassing. But if you are following standard gift giving protocols (yes those exist), you’d be spending a pretty penny on a gift anyway🤷🏽‍♀️

View Quoted Comment If you have reached that point in your life, all those years of living, without acquiring enough manners to know you should not act like you are entitled to any gift, or have not learned that it is the giver who chooses what gift they want to give and not the recipient who tells people what they want and expect to get, you probably could use a whole lot of things money cannot buy.

View Quoted Comment You might be choosing a gift that you are not paying for with money. Quite a valuable gift, not a cheapie. All gifts are not purchased. It is not a matter of giving them the money instead.