What to do with guests who DONT RSVP?

That's kind of rude. The reception is a thank you to your guests for celebrating the ceremony. After your RSVP date passes, start contacting people via phone, text or email and ask if they're coming. I had to contact a lot of our guests because they "forgot" to RSVP. Our RSVP deadline was July 25, and later that week we started contacting people. And now, we've heard from everyone.

I chose online RSVPs to save money and (I thought) make it easier on guests. Only a handful of people actually responded "correctly". I actually decided I'd take an RSVP any way I could get it. We still had to contact the majority of our guests. In the end, only one couple did not respond to the invitation and two requests for a response. I'm counting them as a no since they are out of town and couldn't be bothered. If they show (highly unlikely) they can sit at the table with the vendors.

eta: typo & missing words

Thank you for your feedback!! I really appreciate it... I'm still debating what I want to do, but I do find it incredibly rude that people don't bother RSVPing...

I would just start calling them to ask. It is frustrating but not letting them come to the reception for it is rude.

It's not that they're trying to be rude...most of the time, people don't know their schedule that far in advance and will tell themselves they'll "do it later" and then the invite gets put in a pile...and eventually they forget about it. We didn't get back a lot of our RSVPs and we accepted verbal ones.

I guess I'm just old school... I also don't believe I should go around asking people if they were planning on going to my wedding

Well, you gotta do what you gotta do. If you don't want unexpected people showing up, then I would suggest contacting people.

You said you're coming up on your RSVP date. It's close, but it hasn't passed yet, so you should breathe and don't start thinking up punishments yet. This happens to every bride. It doesn't mean people don't care; it means your RSVP is one of 20 things they have to get to. You'll get them coming in after the date -- it's just the way life is.

As far as your ceremony only idea is concerned -- it's beyond harsh. You might have to track down some guests, but that is preferable to having a no entry policy to the reception. There's no way I could ever do that (and when you see the faces of those you've banned from the reception, gifts in tow, while you're walking the aisle, you will regret having taken it that far -- and what will you do when these people claim they sent the RSVPs back? Argue with them?). Remember, there's no walking this kind of thing back. Those relationships will be fractured for life.

You will need to contact the people that that did not respond. It's part of this hosting thing.

How awkward is that though... To call people or have my bridesmaids call people & ask if people are coming to our wedding? It's funny because this is one of the only forums I've seen that people aren't understanding how inconsiderate it is for people to not RSVP & just show up.

Like I said, I've had several people in my wedding party tell me people were baffled & shocked that they had to RSVP... I guess no one is seeing my frustration...

There were some people who didn't RSVP who I know are still coming, and a few others I (or my mom on my behalf) had to reach out to in order to confirm. A few others who I knew might not come when I invited them, I'm just assuming they're not coming. There was a recent death in my extended family, however, so we're padding our number with those cousins in case they decide to come after all (my great aunt swore them to secrecy about her going into hospice, and we only found out a couple of days before she passed away at the beginning of this week).

I'm so sorry to hear that I hope you're family can all be together for your wedding.

Hahaha It's insanly rude to do that but I TOTALLY feel you. I want so badly to be a b*%€# and not rent chairs for them or have tables. However, I'm going to call them and find out if they are coming. Ugh just HOW HARD IS IT PEOPLE they are preaddressed and prestamped for crying out loud!

No one is saying that people are going to not RSVP and show up, because we're saying you need to call them and follow up on their RSVPs. It's rude for them to not RSVP but it's equally as rude for you to say they can't come to the reception. What if they got lost in the mail?

You don't ask your bridesmaids to call your guests who haven't responded. If you think it would be awkward for you, how much more awkward would it be for them? These are your guests, and the hosting issue is your responsibility. Yes, it sucks, but unless you want to create a lot of drama, you have to call them. If it's any consolation, the late responders will feel far more awkward than you do when they pick up the phone and realize that they put you, a bride, in the position of having to track them down.

Thanks Gals! I appreciate your help... I'm gonna take the higher road & contact these guests. When is it an appropriate time to do so? Like the day following the RSVP date?

Give them a few days. Sometimes people don't put the card in the mail or RSVP online until the date listed.

My RSVPs were also stamped and addressed and ready to go. I had no problem contacting those that I hadn't heard from. It's not awkward either... could be a good way to say "hi" and catch up for a minute or two.

Also, you're not doing these guests a favor by following up, you're doing yourself a favor. I'm not sure why you seem to feel it's beneath you to follow up with these guests but it's for your own sanity and finances because if they show up without RSVPing you'll be the one paying for it.