What to do when you can't afford your dream wedding?

Not supporting the advertising, but this thread shows that if you hire a good wedding planner, you CAN save money. (no, I did not hire one, but I am considering it)

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/who-here-hired-wedding-planner/6b6d0860592905a8.html

Not appropriate for this thread. She has been flagged.

Eek I didn't realize that we weren't allowed to have a dream wedding and a dream marriage. Lol, FH and I are sooo excited about the BIG day and then all the days that follow... Tough crowd on this post.

Sami, think you missed the point, if you can afford the "dream" wedding, have at it. Congrats.

Candi M. I'm just surprised more people aren't offering up advice on how to create your own version of a dream wedding. I've seen so many upbeat budget brides and I've seen so many wedding pics on this site from brides that made what they could afford part of their dream. Is it just the way the post was phrased that's set off all the comments? (I probably did miss the point, but don't we all have a budget of some sort?)

Yeah, I think it was the way it was posted, it wasn't asking for help on how to have a dream wedding on a budget, it was poor me, how do I get over not having a dream wedding.

I think when it comes to the perfect/dream wedding, what you really want to think about is how do you want to feel about it afterwards? what words/feelings do you want to embody your wedding? Then, plan your wedding with the means you have with a goal of fulfilling those wanted end results.

say you're 3 words were you wanted fun, casual, and trendy...fun, casual and trendy COULD mean a loft style venue in a high tower in a big city where all the seat is comfy couches and chairs with lots of colorful modern elements-basically, $$$$$$

OR, it could mean a casual BBQ or beach wedding with a modern/trendy twist on the decor.

my 3 words were classy, elegant, and fun......my true dream fulfillment of that would have been a big, white open tent in a gorgeous field with tons of little lights overhead-didn't reall fit my budget.

I ended up with a great indoor venue with big windows overlooking mtn foothills, lots of elegant DIY elements and personal touches. it was perfect.

I went through the same thing as you did. I had a vision of what my day was going to be like. I was struggling with do we want longer so we can both have the things we want or do we just go to the court house and call it a day? We eventually found a middle ground and are pretty much getting what we both want and at a pretty resonable price. I did ALOT of research. It is super important to look around as much as you can to get the deal that you want. In my heart I know that I am going to have a beautiful wedding and not break the bank doing it. Good luck!

I think this website contains TONS of ideas. Just look at DIY posts to the pics for inspiration boards. It IS possible to have a nice wedding for 120 people at 8k, but it's a LOT of work. I think many people are jaded by others on here wanting "something for nothing" so to speak. I think OP and her fiance need to sit down and make a list of needs and wants and what's possible for their wedding.

Gina- i'm the same way- this is my 2nd wedding but FH's 1st. He wants a big wedding and I wouldn't mind having a smaller one. We have personally decided to push back the wedding one year. Because I want to have it be the day of his dreams as well- we are doing a big wedding and we are doing a theme that I like- so to be sure that we aren't breaking our budget in one year we have stretched it over 2 and we are doing a lot of DIY stuff!

@Gina ... I planned my best friend's wedding...she got her dream wedding AND her week long honeymoon for $6K. Here are some photos on my FB page. Feel free to PM me if you want ideas on how we accomplished her wedding and honeymoon within her $6K budget Flowers for instance...were done through www.theflowerexchange.com and we did a 'flower party' the day before the wedding. All the girls came over and we put together the centerpieces and bouquets. LOTS of fun!

Which part of your dream wedding are most important? The dress? The venue?

I decided to cut almost all my guests in favor of my dream ceremony. My future husband and family are the most important guests, but I still want to selfishly keep the nice dress and nice flowers.

In lieu of a reception, we're throwing a much casual "just married" house party with cheaper food and drinks.

With a budget of only $5,000, I'd rather have nice photographs from a beautiful ceremony, than water down the budget to have a really lame reception.

If you envision your wedding a way that you always dream but don't have the money just yet. My advise is to push the wedding back. In another year or to. That's what my fiance and I are doing. I had thought we could get married 2012 but he suggested 2013 then I started thinking and estimating the type of wedding we want. We haven't started saving just et cause we are about to finish paying our debt next month. By next month that's when we start saving money. We have just thought about 2014 thats if we find a good venue with our budget and our small guestlist. New Jersey is the highest state to pay and New York. My fiance friend is getting married net year and so far I heard there wedding is going to cost half what we are putting toward our budget. So you still could have your dream wedding just save and push the date more further down the year

Kay... I don't have time to read EVERYONE'S posts because I'm getting ready for be but I saw you only have 8,000 to work with... I have 1,000 and managed to have my dream wedding still... it's about seein what you want an doin it yourself. they don't have to be hard projects either. an you don't have to do EVERYTHING yourself... but it's not that hard, my dream wedding cost me $800 and it's going to be beautiful.

I don't know about you girls, but personally, I do what I do went I...

can't afford my dream house. I buy one that I can afford & make it the best I can.

can't afford my dream wardrobe. I buy one that I can afford & make it best possible.

can't afford my dream car. I buy one that I can afford & just drive on.

Like not being able to afford your dream house, it's expected that you won't be able to afford your dream wedding. Seriously, home theater? At least you got that big screen. 1,000,000 dress? At least you got one that looks gorgeous on you.

Like not being able to afford your dream wardrobe, you can make knockoffs look just as good. Or you can do with less. Maybe only have one coach bag instead of an entire closet full. Maybe only have 100 guests instead of 200. Do you really NEED more?

Like not being able to afford your dream car, you just have to be happy with what you have.

I sit back and read this. Making something incredible is something you should be proud of.

I have just began doing research on weddings and planning "Our Dream Day". I can say there is so much information and helpful things out there with Wedding Budgets, Planning, etc. Many of the things are a little early for me to get worked up about, but they soon will be, the more stress I can eliminate, the best for me!

Something consistent has been those things that brides/grooms tend to do last, get cut or eliminated all together, but I find important (invitations, flowers, decorations, honeymoon plans, etc). I have been trying to budget for these things to make sure they don't get cut or left out. A site I came accross that I am using for flowers and decorations is called cashenbridalaccount.com (I got this site from another blog). This site is helping me budget/plan for the flowers and decorations for my wedding. Again important to me and maybe not everyone.

I have just began doing research on weddings and planning "Our Dream Day". I can say there is so much information and helpful things out there with Wedding Budgets, Planning, etc. Many of the things are a little early for me to get worked up about, but they soon will be, the more stress I can eliminate, the best for me!

Something consistent has been those things that brides/grooms tend to do last, get cut or eliminated all together, but I find important (invitations, flowers, decorations, honeymoon plans, etc). I have been trying to budget for these things to make sure they don't get cut or left out. A site I came accross that I am using for flowers and decorations is called cashenbridalaccount.com (I got this site from another blog). This site is helping me budget/plan for the flowers and decorations for my wedding. Again important to me and maybe not everyone.