What to do if your guests don't want to commit to coming to your wedding

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Yep - as a two time bride this drove me NUTTY each time. (First we had no internet, lol, so guess who was on the phone - A LOT?) Even though both were buffets (they didn't know that) I did not want to be off by a huge amount - plus, even though it is an invite, not a summons, please don't treat our wedding as something you might come to if the mood strikes you. If you would rather go see your son play soccer (yes we had that the first time, it was a game, not a championship game for the state) then just tell us.

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I'm probably going to borrow this for my guests that have been avoiding the question.

I agree with Cher. Be polite but firm

My planner would kill me but this is the message I sent:

Hello there!I am following up with you in regards to RSVPING for the wedding. Please note that the last day to RSVP is 7/31/19.
If you do not RSVP we will accept the response as kindly declining the invitation and you will not have the opportunity to attend the wedding.
Hope to hear from you by 7/31/19.

Personally I would put them as a no. I already mentioned to my fiancé and mom that I don’t want to waste money on food. For my dad’s 50th birthday bash we invited about 100 people and less than 50 showed up. It surely was a waste of food and money.

View Quoted Comment Love it!!!

View Quoted Comment No, I'm pretty sure the venue does a head count as the guests walk inside and you are charged per person for everyone above the final head count you gave them 2-3 weeks prior, that extra cost per head is due before you leave the reception.

The only thing is, the caterer only makes enough food for the final head count you gave them. So if you have a bunch of extra people show up, there is a big possibly there may not be enough food for everyone, or cake if you have 20+ extra pop in..

View Quoted Comment Hahaha!! I love it!!

I would ask them to give a final answer. Your trying to plan your wedding, at that your wedding is in September which is just under a month away! They should have planned for this in my honest opinion.

Why not ask family or wedding party members make the calls and be the bad guys. They can stress that they need confirmations for your final headcount for seating, food. and alcohol. They can stress that they dont want the couple stressed with expensive no shows or not accounting for enough people.

Set a firm final deadline for receipt of correspondence and notify they will be marked as “not attending” so others that can attend will have the opportunity to witness...the end, no hard feelings. When you are paying about $80 and up total per head that comes through the door, you can use that extra money on your honeymoon! 😊

View Quoted Comment Some jobs you don’t know if you have off that early.

View Quoted Comment Usually you request the time though. My fiancé and I are a year out from our wedding and everyone of our guests is starting to request time off. There are only a select few who can’t do it until 2020. Though I do understand what your saying. At the same time some jobs won’t let you request time until a month before you need it. I guess I’m kind of lucky in the fact that many of my guests are able to request time off a year plus in advanced.

View Quoted Comment I also have a child in multiple sports and school. BUT I also understand when getting an invitation/rsvp that it’s not a “suggestion” but a serious question and matter. If I’m paying thousands of dollars for one day, and someone can’t have the decency to respond when you ask them to, rsvp no and stay home.