What should i do if my husband to be has the first name of his ex tattooed ?

I'd look into a cover-up instead of removal. Removals take a very long time, are very expensive and are very painful. He might not want to spend that kind of money right before the wedding.

Expensive and it's hurts like crazy! It's not a simple thing he's dragging his feet on. It's multiple treatments.

I would look into tattoo shops about cover ups if it's bothering you that much, obviously there's no meaning behind it or you wouldn't be where you are today. And if he can't get it covered before the wedding, don't sweat it and let it eat at your relationship. It's just a tattoo.

I don't think you're overreacting. Not only would it put me out of the mood to see that on my partner's back, but I would be embarrassed hanging out with friends on the beach and having them see another woman's name too.

However, I do agree that all this should have been addressed well before getting engaged. I don't think you can reasonably expect him to invest the time and money into getting it removed before the wedding. You've successfully loved him with the tattoo so far, if you're getting married - why stress about this arbitrary deadline?

Cover up? Seems like a better solution

There's no way for us to know just through the internet, but why now? My problem is either one of two things: 1. You need to do some deep soul searching to clear up your insecurities. 2. You need to listen to your gut and find out why you are making excuses not to marry this guy.

I dated a guy once and talked about marriage. Everytime we did, I smiled along and nodded with a bunch of doubts in my head. "It would be perfect except for..." I thought past relationships made me insecure. Found out later he was cheating, and looking back, I would have been miserable even if he hadn't cheated. He just wasn't a grown-up.

But now, with my FH, the only doubts I have about my wedding are piddly things like will he like my dress? How many types of wine should I buy? Traditional or modern cake?

So I wonder if there is something else going on you are refusing to consciously acknowledge?

I would make him cover with makeup for the wedding on principle (don't care if he has a shirt over it). And then for a grooms gift I would give him a giftcard to a place to get it removed and an appt for a 1st removal session. I find when men drag their feet and make excuses, I just make it where there can't be any anymore and it's checked as "done". He's had years to make a plan to remove it and it's clear you've already spoken to him about it so I'd help him get it done.

I understand why this would upset you, but you're marrying him. If you seriously think this tattoo holds any kind of meaning to him still then you need to reevaluate your decision of saying yes to his proposal.

I'd be forking out the money to get it removed asap. This is something that would REALLY bother me.

I have an ex's name tattooed on me. HUGE regret on my part but my DH couldn't care less about it. He loves me and knows that the name means nothing to me.

You have to have security in your relationship and if you don't your making a mistake getting married.

It might be hard to cover up a face tattoo effectively depending on how the tattoo is applied.

I vote turn it into ZOMBIE EX. They could just add some details to the face and stuff.

Welp- Personally- I probably wouldn't have ever started dating someone who has the name of someone like that tattooed across their back.

For me this falls into "he had it when you started dating... nothings changed and your relationship is moving forward" you have no ground to stand on other than it makes you uncomfortable.

my husband is squishy. He doesn't work out. at all. He was that way when I met him- and he's that way now. I don't expect to actually change him although it aggravates me tremendously. It has nothing to do with me.

You knew this going in. offer to pay, get over it - or break up.

I'm sure it is an eyesore for you; however, it takes a lot to get one removed. I'm with everyone else, he proposed to you and is marrying you in a few months. Your relationship has to be based on trust unless there is something else there that concerns you.

I agree with the PP that said while you see it, he does not so it's easy to ignore. I have a tattoo on my shoulder that I like, but often forget about. Tattoo cover ups/removals are expensive and painful...but he already said once he has the $ it'll be taken care of. I'd be annoyed about it but I would've been annoyed 5 years ago. I'm sure it really does mean nothing to him

This is why you don't get names tattooed on you.

Find a reputable tattoo artist who does cover ups. Give him a GC to that shop as a wedding gift. Problem solved.

Yikes!

So a lot of things factor in. Are there colours in the tattoo? What is his skin tone?

Depending on both of the questions above laser removal might not even be an option.

He could choose to remove it and depending on where you live they could charge for every couple of inches meaning it could cost thousands to remove completely. He could also choose to do a cover-up which I would then first recommend doing a few laser treatments to lighten it which will make the cover-up job easier.

All-in-all this isn't chump change and also for some can be considered very painful. You could give him the benefit of the doubt and assume his thought process aligns with what I have outlined or sit him down and come up with a game plan and budget. Look into consultations for both removal and cover-up.

Ugh you met, dated, fell in love with and agreed to marry the man as is. Why do you all of a sudden think it's okay to try to change this now.

No, I wouldn't like to see my FH with another woman's name on his body but I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't have ever gotten this far with a man with someone else's name tattooed on him of it bothered me that bad. If it didn't bother you before, you have no right to let it start now.

My FH has a tattoo on his back that he got with his ex. It's not her name but its essentially a matching version of one she has. He hates it and wants to cover it up. I don't let it bother me, even knowing she's walking around with the match because #1 it's part of who he is #2 I got the ring and get the forever, she didn't.

Go to a tattoo artist and see what your options are for a cover up. Maybe they could make the name into some sort of design?

If it's as large as you say, the laser versus cover up thing isn't even really a choice; he's likely going to need both. And that's going to cost likely a minimum of $5k. Large tattoos aren't easy to cover, especially when they're lettering. And removing something large also isn't easy. It'd be best to lighten the tattoo to a point, let it fully heal (it could take six months to a year on its own to become tattoo-ready) and then get the rest covered up.

I had an old tattoo on me from a previous relationship. Once marriage talk came into play, I realized how 'eh' it was to have to look at and decided to cover it. However, I wouldn't consider not marrying someone because of it.