T
Just Said Yes January 2018

What should i do if my husband to be has the first name of his ex tattooed ?

tasha, on October 4, 2017 at 8:52 PM Posted in Planning 0 43
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Me and my fiance have been dating for 5 years now and we recently made a dicision to get married, he had popped the question. but he has a massive tattoo of his ex on his shoulder and i have been telling him to get it removed but he has been holding it up saying that he will get it done when he saves up or when he has time. He also told me not to worry about it as it does not signify anything to him anymore and that he was young and really dumb to have made that mistake. But whatever he says i don't get full satisfaction as i am always thinking, does he even mean whatever he is saying or like it must signify something to him. him and his ex dated for 2 years. Please help me as i want to know what i should say to him or ask him. Our wedding is coming up in 2 months and im really frustrated.

43 Comments

Latest activity by Danielle, on October 5, 2017 at 11:45 AM
  • Boinkin
    Devoted April 2018
    Boinkin ·
    • Flag

    Is it a PICTURE of his ex or her name? Either way, the fact that he agrees he will get it removed when he has the funds, proposed to you, and wants to marry you, should be enough for you to have faith in your relationship and his honesty in telling you it doesn't matter.

    You can't just get rid of them overnight. You NEED to get over this.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    VIP June 2017
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    You seriously think it still has meaning for him?

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsR
    VIP May 2018
    FutureMrsR ·
    • Flag

    They dated for 2 years. You did for 5. And now you're getting married. I doubt you have anything to worry about. Maybe you can help him fund the removal if it means that much to you, but when he's wearing a tux on his wedding day you won't even be able to see it.

    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes September 2019
    Alexis ·
    • Flag

    You cant see the tattoo with the tux on. but i understand why it would be hard for you. its easier said than done, but i would say that if youre the one hes choosing to spend the rest of his life with, the girl written in ink probably doesnt matter. try not to stress too hard, love. you have a happy happy day ahead of you! xoxo

    • Reply
  • KatieJade
    Expert September 2018
    KatieJade ·
    • Flag

    It takes time to remove a tattoo, and some serious money. It's a procedure. My friend has "Hector" tattooed on the back of her neck. He went with the first letter of her name (V) which could easily be made into something else. Now she's stuck with "Hector" neck and he has an arrow or tree or whatever he decided to turn it into

    • Reply
  • Jay Farrell
    Jay Farrell ·
    • Flag

    Ugh. Time for a cover up.

    • Reply
  • Maleficent
    Super January 2018
    Maleficent ·
    • Flag

    My friends husband had his ex-wifes name tattoo covered before the wedding. Maybe instead of removal you can go that route?

    If you have the money you could always offer to pay for the removal.

    • Reply
  • Rosered
    Devoted January 2019
    Rosered ·
    • Flag

    I doubt it has meaning for him but tattoo removal is long and expensive. The tattoo issue should not be related to the wedding. You have been with him for five years and he had the tattoo when you agreed to marry him. I don't think it is fair to tie it into the wedding at this point. If this is something that really bothers you, you should talk to him about it but first look into everything involved in tattoo removal. It might be too expensive to do before the wedding.

    • Reply
  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
    • Flag

    If you don't believe what he tells you and you think the tattoo has significance to him, why are you even thinking of marrying him?

    • Reply
  • ifallforgeeks
    Devoted October 2017
    ifallforgeeks ·
    • Flag

    Maybe help him pay for the coverup if it's that much of an issue for you. but like everyone else said, time and money.

    • Reply
  • T
    Just Said Yes January 2018
    tasha ·
    • Flag

    It's on the back shoulder going across. Im not going to lie it is big. It's her name not her picture. At the start it did'nt bother me as much, but now i am really paranoid as the wedding date is approaching. I love him with all my heart that's why i am marrying him. I really want him to understand me and what i am trying to say because at times it feels he is just trashing what i am saying by saying that its an old tattoo that doesn't signify anything to him and so i shouldn't bother me. But then he goes and wears a vest in summer and it shows parts of her name , or he plays soccer so sometimes he goes shirtless in summer after playing games infront of his soccer buddies and others and that really gets to me, like it hurts real bad, and he acts as if it's nothing.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Expert March 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    It is nothing.... you want him to wear long sleeves in summer to hide and old tattoo that doesn't even mean anything?

    I think your insecurities about this are the bigger issue. Tattoo removals and cover ups are expensive .... unless you're offering to pay for it and he's saying no.... you just need to let it go.

    • Reply
  • JerseyGirl
    Master May 2017
    JerseyGirl ·
    • Flag

    Confused as to why you are marrying him if you are so concerned. Also confused as to why it took this long to be an issue two months? (you say two months but your date is January) before the wedding. My dad still has his ex wife's name....more than 40 years later. It's not as easy as just erasing it.

    If the tattoo bothers you this much, something else is causing the insecurity in your relationship.

    • Reply
  • Mary C
    Super November 2018
    Mary C ·
    • Flag

    I had my ex's initials tattooed on my chest. After our divorce I saved up enough for a cover up (changed to my children's initials). However this was after FH and I met. He not once let it bother him. He know the ex is an ex and that is all that matters. The cover up was more for me, to help move on after a painful divorce after 17 years of marriage. Give him time. Apparently it means nothing to him or he would still be with her, not you.

    • Reply
  • Sonia
    Devoted October 2017
    Sonia ·
    • Flag

    You're an adult right? If it's that important to you then do your research, find a tattoo removal specialist, make the appointment, take him to the specialist, and pay for the removal yourself. Orrrrrrrr, get over it because you should have said something sooner, not after 5 years of being with one another... geez... grow up

    • Reply
  • Del
    Master November 2017
    Del ·
    • Flag

    My friend has the name of her ex tattooed in the small of her back (the "tramp stamp" area). When started dating her now-wife, it really bothered her to see "Jemma" there every time my friend wore anything that showed her midriff. So she got "I am so over" tattooed above it. It now reads "I am so over Jemma" and problem solved.

    Sometimes finding a way to laugh about it is the best way forward.

    • Reply
  • Alforev
    VIP August 2018
    Alforev ·
    • Flag

    You should look up what it takes to remove the tattoo or cover it up. Removal is a process where he would have to keep going back for sections to be removed. Cover up could take an entire day depending on the size and the name may end up still being able to be seen through the cover up. You're also asking him to spend A LOT of money when you two should probably be holding onto every penny for your wedding and future together. He's engaged to you. Give him time to save and decide what he wants to do about it since it's his body.

    • Reply
  • melanie
    Master August 2017
    melanie ·
    • Flag

    Buy him a gift certificate to get it covered up

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
    • Flag

    Maybe it's just me but I wouldn't wanna be reminded of my DH's ex every time we get it on. I would honestly save up the money and help him get it taken care of ASAP

    • Reply
  • Alana
    VIP March 2018
    Alana ·
    • Flag

    A cover up would be cheaper. If it bothers you he should take your feelings into consideration. If you think he is blowing off your question, talk to him again about it

    • Reply

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