What is a wedding reception?

I opted out of the reception. My guests and I are going out to eat at a restaurant

1. Dinner. ...
2. Toasts. ...
3. First Dance. ...
4. Dancing. ...
5. Bouquets & Garter Tosses. ...
6. Cake Cutting.

The reception at minimum should include some sort of refreshments - if it's held during a meal time, a full meal should be served. Otherwise, cake and punch and/or appetizers would be fine.


Other things often included in the reception are: grand entrance, speeches, first dance, father-daughter dance, mother-son dance, cake cutting, bouquet/garter tosses, open dancing, and grand exit. None of these are required - you get to decide what you want to do and what you want to skip. My fiance and I are skipping the bouquet/garter tosses and grand exit, and I'm skipping the father-daughter dance.

There are a lot of parts you can cut out depending on preferences and time. Our reception will be about 4 1/2 hours long so we didn't cut a lot out but replaced the parts we didn't care too much for. We are having the party introductions followed by our first dance. Then we will welcome our guests as we are the hosts. We are doing a joint toast by the maid of honor and best man. Speeches are going to be at the rehearsal. Replaced the parent dances (we are not close) with an anniversary dance. Skipping bouquet and garter toss. No money dance or anything like that. So once dinner is over it will basically just be our cake cutting, open dance floor and late night snacks.

For centuries, it was very customary to just serve cake and beverages. Anything more lavish, such as dinner for everyone, showed off how wealthy the bride's parents were. In the US, it is still very common in many areas and social circles to not have dinner and serve cake only. It is not a novelty contrary to popular belief. What pandemic weddings are becoming with small guest counts or true elopements where no guests are in attendance are how they have always been in various social circles for decades. It's not a new trend. The complete abandonment of etiquette currently is the only real change, where receptions are held a year later instead of the day of the ceremony, the legal wedding day considered a real wedding in favor of a renewal in front of guests, among other things.


Also, countless receptions do not serve alcohol or have dancing, citing religious violation as the reason why, even though in a Christian context, Jesus and his family drank wine at a wedding and the Old Testament tells people that dancing is not sinful. Guests chat the entire time and and a blast at it without other entertainment.
That said, a bare bones minimum required reception held the same day as the ceremony for all invited guests to both events consists of basic refreshments (cake and fruitpunch/lemonade/coffee) and the couple greeting guests and guests mingling among themselves for 2 hrs.
Anything beyond that is up to the couple, their tastes and budget. The only other rule being that guests do not open their wallets for any reason.
Toasting/speeches is not required..it's never missed. Same for reception introductions which are a new trend and not done at all in many areas. Garter/bouquet tosses are never missed. Alcohol is never required..a full meal must be served with it to prevent drunk guests...but countless guests don't drink a drop even when it's available and still have a great time. If they can't, they have bigger issues. Cake is traditional but if you want to serve another dessert instead, be fair to everyone and scrap the cake entirely because it's something people expect to be served to all or none. You can cut any dessert and feed each other for pictures or skip it.

I would say, at minimum, refreshments of some sort are provided. Ideally a plated meal and alcohol, but snacks and soda are fine too. A reception can really look however you want, there is nothing you "have" to have, just things that are generally courteous to provide.

View Quoted Comment I agree with Lisa. The reception is a thank you to Youth guests for attending your wedding. You want to feed them something appropriate for the time of day. If it's dinner time and you hand your guests a few pigs in a blanket and veggies and dip, they will be less than happy and leave early to get dinner. If you do the same spread at like 3pm, people will generally be content with that. I would also have some sort of music, even if it's background music playing softly to help with atmosphere. Other than that, everything else is extra and what you want. Like Lisa, I also skipped the bouquet/garter toss and the grand exit.

Were doing the traditional reception but my husband won't be doing a mother/son dance or we won't do the garter toss

Son many great points addressed. What it boils down to is that this is your wedding & your vision. What do you want?

Receptions are whatever you want them to be - with the only rule being, you need to feed the guests something.

We went mostly "traditional", but threw in a sword fight, because we are actors.

But, just to join the chorus: feeding your guests is the only thing a reception has to do.