What has made your wedding planning stressful?

I feel you lovelyunique. All I have is my mom, dad and siblings, they have all been a blessing especially my lil brothers ages 18, 15 and 10. They have no problems giving their opinions from a male point of view. My 2 sisters have been helping my mom with DIY projects. But my Fh family is like yeah whatever. They even try to tell us not to have a wedding at all. They said "just go to the JOP why waste money and time" His sister who for some reason thought she should be my MOH goes to help me find BM dress ends up trying wedding dresses, while my lil sister who 14 and my MOH is helping to choose BM dresses. Even my 5 yr old sister was more into it than my FSIL.

For me, the most stressful part of the planning was stressing over money issues (like the poster above me). I am calm now after the fact and glad it's over, but I also stressed over the timelines, my small bridal party, the food, the rentals and especially access to the reception space (my reception was at the church hall which they gave me a key 3 days before to access the hall).I also found family to be the most stressful. I knew I wasn't going to get much assistance, so I planned everything myself and DIY'd everything myself which also added to the stress.

The whole planning process has been a nightmare for me!!! my mother started us out on a 400-800 budget. she hated the flowers i wanted(then went out and bought new ones without asking me)(lucky i was begenning to lean more towards those flowers)she wouldnt let me have a reception other than cake and punch(a lot of people on both sides of the fam have health issues and need to eat*her being one* i wanted to wear blue shoes for the wedding*something old, new, borrowed BLUE* and she said NO that looks tacky...you wont even be able to see the shoes* http://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?productID=6ce28ccc-04df-47e2-a314-bccf57d3cedf&categoryID=8b186130-0d63-4e3c-ac5c-aea0d9566e1c&pg=1 * she got mad at the FH because he didnt ask my brother to stand up with him at the wedding * he has friends that he is closer to.. she is mad becaue we are having a second reception where he is from and we are having a more fomal dinner there. CONT.

She says they are trying to out do us here * they are spending a little less on the reception there than the whole wedding here...GAHHH i could go on forever!! I CANT WAIT TILL MAY!!!!! and thanks ladies for being here for support when fam. isnt!!!!!!

@ Sheila - I see your wedding isn't till 2010... $400-$800 isn't much - are you and your FH able to save up any of your own money? That way you won't be so tied to your mom and her demands. She's probably feeling like if she pays for it she gets to have things her way.

Money, Family lack of support and MONEY!! lol My Mom is one of my best friends ever, but she sometimes says things she doesn't realize hurts like crazy.. like "why don't you just elope?" well.. we're not eloping because we wanted our families there on the happiest day of our life, and the one person who means the most to me (aside from FH) is my mom, so it hurt to think she didn't want to be there! My dad offers to pay to have us elope so he doesn't have to walk me down the aisle, or dance with me. The money thing is the worst though.. because, my god wedding stuff is flippin' expensive!!! they totally gouge on this stuff! thank goodness I'm a DIYer!

Stressful- the guest list and how everytime you get a "no" response you have someone asking to invite someone else, and self invited. Just trying to keep up on the number was the hard part, not the people (well some of the people) themselves.

Helpful- my computer and spreadsheets. I have created and re-created spreadsheet after spreadsheet, list after list. It has really kept things in prespective.

We both currently have very little work. he is working part time at the school getting payed less than minimum wage and im WAY behind in school so im tryig to keep that as a main focus so i dont have a job...we are trying to save but my mom refuses to let us pay for anything..the only way we can pay for stuff is if we just do it and not tell her till it comes in. we have compromised on most of the stuff so it is getting better...hopefully it starts going smooth after we get the BIG stuff out of the way!!!

For me it was sitting around waiting for almost four months before we finally settled on the date and location of the wedding. I felt like we were just getting further and further behind on the planning and I couldn't make any real decisions without knowing if it would be indoors/outdoors, summer/winter, Virginia/Tennessee. Once we figured out that part it has been pretty much smooth sailing. A few comments early on from Mom about having a second wedding given how expensive everything is, but I curbed all that with one email. Thankfully FH and I have agreed on almost everything or he just defers to whatever I want when he doesn't have an opinion (e.g., flowers, decorations, BM gifts). I am just hoping that I'll be able to keep the stress level down in these last THREE MONTHS to go!

I have definetly found that planning a wedding 3 hours away has been difficult! My mom INSISTED that we have the wedding where she and my dad live, but now she is NOT helpful AT ALL. She won't help me look for vendors, she won't even committ to a weekend when FH and I can come up to her and meet with vendors. My parents are paying for a majority of the wedding so its not like I can move forward without her. I have paid the deposits for the reception hall and church, but need to book the other large vendors by the end of next month! So all and all agreeing to a wedding a few hours away and having a difficult mother have been VERY stressful!

The most stressful part of the planning for us is our guest list. We have a limit of people that we can accomodate but there will be some that we can't invite that we would want to be there. So just trying to deal with this is headache. However, we are keeping an open mind about it. We're just going to play it by ear when we send the invitations out later and just try to fill in the spaces with any people who respond that they cannot come. Plus, we are sending out our Save the Date cards this week so we'll just strictly focus on the A-List and not bring in any folks from the B-List until invitation time.

If you do not mind me asking, what do you brides feel would be most helpful in planning your wedding?

Mine has been making decisions! Super crazy because I make decisions on a daily basis, but this is a day I have dreamed about and I want it to be perfect so I want the decisions to be PERFECT! AHH... money has been a bit of an issue but it is only because I wanted to help my FH out with his part, but I told him I couldnt and that he would have to get a job to pay for the honeymoon and rehersal dinner (he got a job and yes I am helping him out by saving myself!)

My mom was a total mom-zilla at first but then she calmed down, getting everything done in time totally stressed me out because I felt like I had a lot longer than I did... FMIL drove me a tad crazy sometimes (LOL) but nothing terrible. Having TOO many opinions and requests from parents and family members was insane. Money was a little tight for awhile.

My wedding planner at my venue stressed me out cause he was impossible to get ahold of...

Nicole I think the answer to that is......Having our personal lil fairy godmother...One that can poof away the non commitment from our BP...the nagging of our families.....the stress of making ends meet...I can go on and on and on....lol

The most stressful for us has been the lack of help. No one on either side has really been helpful with the planning. But, I'm so over that now. The planning is finished and now we just have to wait till the 5th to begin doing the last minute stuff like paying off the chair rentals, and paying the city for the use of the park, and getting the marriage license. We still have some food to buy and that's pretty much it. BUT, everyone is getting sick now, so who knows, it may just be me and fh up there with no bridal party, no parents and no guest....lol...that'd be okay, though. At least we'd be married.

What would make the planning easier? More help and more family members being more excited about the day instead of telling us to elope and just be done with it.

I am making almost everything so it has been stressful because FI doesn't help around the house much. Also I get no help from family members. My mom has mental health problems and has been uninterested since the engagement. I have a few good friends who are very supportive but other than that I feel kind of alone in the process. THFWW!

At 1st I was allowing my FMIL to stress me out because of lack of interest, (my family and I don't talk) but after a couple months of it, I finally thought, screw it, it's our wedding, they don't want to show interest, the heck with them! Now, I don't let them know a thing, if they ask, which is rare, I tell them, if they don't like it, oh well, we are solely paying, no help from anyone, so I do it our way and only our way and if it is not good enough for anyone, oh well! )

Nicole, I would have loved having a matrix showing me possible venues near my home in my price range with photos, details, etc. I created one for myself with distance, price, onsite food, surrounding scenery (eg busy road noise, woods, historic home, etc.) & other considerations about the site. The other part that has been a pain is tracking down all the current addresses for family then keeping track of all their address changes, weddings, & breakups to keep my guest list up to date. Maybe some sample templates for invitations & programs would be helpful--saw one place that had templates for $10 or $20 which I think is a smart business plan. Digging through so many different color schemes & flower possibilities took me quite a bit of time too. Mostly I enjoyed these searches but not every bride has as much time as I had to do all that searching. As for this site a seamstress vendor review category would be great since many brides are buying online instead of a major retailer.

The stress for me is finding a venue. We can only afford $500 if we have to get tables and chairs or $800 if we don't and we can't pick a venue that requires a caterer because we can't afford catering and my family is doing the food. In this area, that severely narrows down our choices.