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Jessie
Devoted September 2020

What are your thoughts on a Memory Table?

Jessie, on March 26, 2021 at 10:34 AM

Posted in Wedding Reception 79

I've always thought they were sweet, but when I was researching them, I saw not everyone thinks the same way. I wanted to get one of those "we know you would be here if Heaven weren't so far away" signs, along with flowers and a couple candles. Pictures of our loved ones, including my parents who...
I've always thought they were sweet, but when I was researching them, I saw not everyone thinks the same way.


I wanted to get one of those "we know you would be here if Heaven weren't so far away" signs, along with flowers and a couple candles. Pictures of our loved ones, including my parents who passed when I was young. What are your thoughts? Note: we've already had a mini ceremony so this will be our reception only.

79 Comments

  • K
    Beginner July 2022
    Kelly ·
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    I think it’s sweet but for us a little too much.
    My FH’s mom passed a few years ago and I think what we will do is have her picture with some engraving on the first seat in the front row and my FH will walk down the aisle with his dad and put a rose on her chair then take his place in the front.
    For the reception, we will move that possibly to the welcome table.
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    That's such a great idea to remember those who have passed. I wish I would have thought of that sooner.
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  • Krystina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Krystina ·
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    This is true! I think everyone handles grief differently and progresses through their grief differently. If I'm far enough along in the process of grieving a loss, seeing photos will only remind me of my love for the person (or animal) I've lost and of the happy times we spent together. But everyone is different, and I think especially if the loss is very recent, it can be a sensitive issue for those involved. I do think if the persons planning the wedding speaks to those it affects and gets their permission or support, it's probably fine and not something to worry about. To those who don't know the people in the photos it really won't mean anything, but it could mean a lot to those who do know the ones who have been lost to have them "there" in some form. I think for some people, incorporating an object or music might be too subtle or not have enough connection and that's why they want photos as stand-ins.

    I do think a strong component of the feeling and experience of grief is the sensation of love, and that may be why so many people are drawn to the idea of incorporating the love they felt for those they've lost into a celebration of their love for their spouse. It's all about love. I think of that quote from WandaVision, "But what is grief if not love persevering?" If you see a memorial table at someone's wedding, maybe don't see it as an expression of negativity or sadness, but of a profuse sense of love.

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  • Laura
    Beginner November 2021
    Laura ·
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    We're not calling it a "memory table," exactly. What we're thinking of doing is displaying our parents' and grandparents' wedding photos. Both sets of parents are alive, our grandparents are not. But we just thought it would be a nice way to honor both our families. And we're thinking we'll put the photos at the same table as our guest book, so people can look at the photos as they're coming to sign the book.

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  • B
    Savvy March 2022
    Bridgett ·
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    I love the idea!! I will also be doing something similar. My best friend passed when I was 15 and I always thought she would be at my wedding, and this way it feels like she’s a part of it. Do whatever you think is best for you and your future spouse! It’s your day!
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  • Jacqueline
    Dedicated June 2021
    Jacqueline ·
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    We are doing something similar! for both myself and FH, our late grandparents are very important pillars in both our families. Since we are having our wedding outside, we are having a "Family tree" We will be hanging framed wedding pictures of our parents and grandparents on a prominent tree at the venue as a honor to our families

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  • Jaime Narvaez
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Jaime Narvaez ·
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    Heyy I am all for it but I am not putting pictures at my wedding. I am just putting a sign with candles around it. only because I feel if it effected someone when their family member passed away I don't want them to feel sad the day of the wedding. But i do want to acknowledge our loved who did pass and should have been their. So to respect the rest of our guests but also still feel like they are their with I am only having the sign with candles and put as the guests are walking in. We did the same for my sisters wedding a couple years back.

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  • B
    Savvy September 2021
    Bumblebee3 ·
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    I know I’m a late response, but i personally love them and have always wanted one at my own wedding. I’ve lost many loved ones including my father so I have always imagined having a place dedicated to honoring them especially on such a big day when their absence is being felt.


    I did find it quite odd how many people here said they disliked the idea or thought it was a “downer”. It’s the couple’s day and they should absolutely be able to have a place designated for those to be honored. It’s a testament to what an important person they were to the couple. There’s nothing depressing about it.
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  • AB
    Devoted September 2022
    AB ·
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    I think it is a know your crowd kinda thing and how close you were to those you have lost. Personally, I lose it when I see pictures my of Papi, like full on bawl like a baby, even writing this makes me tear up and it has been almost 5 years! I know if I saw a reminder on a table I would be so heartbroken and so would my Meme and other guests. I will have a bracelet that has his writing on it that I got as a graduation gift. I also wouldn't have a table as I don't want anyone to come up and say "I noticed you put family member x on the display, why not family member z?". Think about would you appreciate it and would your guests? and you will have your answer!

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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
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    My fiance doesn't think we should do one, however I want to do one so we compromised, we are doing a plaque that list their names and then we lost a still born so we are going to have his ashes with his urn on the memory table with a candle next to it. I am so sorry to hear about your parents

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  • Erin
    Dedicated November 2022
    Erin ·
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    Another thing you can do that we have decided to do at our wedding... My FH's father passed away two years ago and we have decided to include peach colored flowers throughout our wedding and we will have a note upon walking into the ceremony that the peach colored flowers are dedicated to my FH's late father. That way people can appreciate the beautiful flowers throughout the day and they have an even deeper meaning to our close family and friends who knew and loved him. It's also a way for my FH to feel like his father is present on our special day.

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  • Kayla
    Just Said Yes October 2022
    Kayla ·
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    I agree it is definitely a personal preference! I personally had my mother pass when I was young, so I want to have her with me on my special day. She is the only person I am choosing to honor at my wedding however.

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  • Kyra
    Beginner October 2021
    Kyra ·
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    Personal preference photos upset me when they’re of loved ones who have passed. We instead ordered a laser printed and cut table and chairs with an arch and a hanging heart sign. It was a perfect way to still have their memory there without upsetting us as well.
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  • Tara
    VIP November 2016
    Tara ·
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    I think it's your party and you should do what you want!! I had a memory table at my wedding. Honestly I think most people didn't even notice it (it was like in the foyer when you first walked in.. beautiful place for it, but easy to miss). But I knew it was there. And it brought me comfort feeling like my loved ones were there with us!! it's your personal preference.

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  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
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    I honestly feel like that's the best way to do one! I've seen quite a few stories on here of people essentially being "greeted" by those signs or tables and I can understand that being off-putting. At the same time, including the few special people who weren't able to be with us is important to both of us and that's the easiest way to include them. It doesn't have to be front and center as long as the two of us know it's there.

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  • J
    Just Said Yes May 2022
    Julie ·
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    I'd rather the bride/groom honor them privately with a broach, favorite recipe, play a favorite song, use a phrase the deceased either said often or would find humor in, tell a fun story about them, etc... IMO memorials should not take place at a wedding. It could upset other family members or friends.
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  • Katelyn
    Dedicated October 2021
    Katelyn ·
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    I am having a sign with the exact saying, I’m putting the photos on a rustic ladder with fairy lights for our family members that have passed on. I also had a piece of my grandpas favorite blue shirt sewn into the bottom of my dress, as my “something blue”.
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  • Ashley
    Savvy November 2022
    Ashley ·
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    I love the idea of them but I don't know that I will do one.

    My step grandma's favorite flower was a carnation and I will be having one embroidered into my dress somehow. I was closer to her than I was with either of my blood grandmother's as her and my grandpa had been together since my mom was in high school so I will be honoring her in a subtle way. I also will be surprising my family with dancing with my grandpa to his and my step grandma's wedding song (he doesn't know either). They were married in 2019 and she passed 2 weeks before their anniversary in 2020.

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  • Lei
    Just Said Yes August 2019
    Lei ·
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    To each their own. We had one at our wedding and it was extremely special. It was on the table next to our sign-in/seating cards and all of our friends and family knew who they all were and shared in memories and I'm sure sorrow as well but we saw several people acknowledge the table. We took a moment as we entered to stand at the table and send up a quiet prayer to them.
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