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Jessie
Devoted September 2020

What are your thoughts on a Memory Table?

Jessie, on March 26, 2021 at 10:34 AM

Posted in Wedding Reception 79

I've always thought they were sweet, but when I was researching them, I saw not everyone thinks the same way. I wanted to get one of those "we know you would be here if Heaven weren't so far away" signs, along with flowers and a couple candles. Pictures of our loved ones, including my parents who...
I've always thought they were sweet, but when I was researching them, I saw not everyone thinks the same way.


I wanted to get one of those "we know you would be here if Heaven weren't so far away" signs, along with flowers and a couple candles. Pictures of our loved ones, including my parents who passed when I was young. What are your thoughts? Note: we've already had a mini ceremony so this will be our reception only.

79 Comments

  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I am personally not a fan of them. It gives a funeral vibe at a wedding. And I have seen multiple weddings where adults have had to walk outside so no one sees them cry and they won’t dampen the day for the bride and groom. You go go to winnings expecting to feel happy and uplifted, not have to step out in tears because they unexpectedly saw photos of loved ones they missed. I think a great alternative is having photo bouquet charms, so that you are the only one that sees the photos, there’s no chance of upsetting others, and that person/people will be with you as you walk down the aisle.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    This exactly

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  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    Personally I don't like them, but I don't get offended when I see them at other weddings. They are just not for me - a wedding is a happy occasion, and memorial tables are sad.


    My grandmother passed away several months ago. What we are hoping to do (if we can find all the pictures...) is to do a display of wedding photos of our parents and grandparents. This way we will honor our relatives in what will still be a happy way.
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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    Very good point
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I agree with this. I did small things to honor my grandparents' memory, like wear earrings that used to belong to my grandmother and toasting with my grandparents' wedding toasting flutes. These were for me and I didn't feel they needed to be broadcast to the rest of the wedding.
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  • Nicole
    Devoted August 2022
    Nicole ·
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    Personally, I feel that a wedding isn't an appropriate place for this. To me, a wedding is about celebrating the couple, and a funeral is about celebrating and mourning lost loved ones. I wouldn't want my wedding to be sad or cause my family to be upset being reminded of a tragic death.
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  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    I attended a wedding that had a memory note on the tables for the brides brother, my friend, who had passed away about a year prior. It was really rough for me and my friends. I had to excuse myself for a few minutes. Totally dependent on the scenario but it can definitely add a sad tone.
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  • Kelly
    Dedicated February 2022
    Kelly ·
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    I like the idea personally but I decided that I am going to go a different direction and have my dad's picture on a locket for my bouquet that way he is still there with me in a way but it is more personal for me.

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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I personally really dislike them. It's a wedding, not a memorial. Also my cousin did the thing where you put a photo of the deceased person out (our grandmother) and people started crying and it caught fire and then literally 15 people were sobbing at their wedding. So I would strongly recommend against it
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    I have been the crier at a wedding where this was done and it was not pleasant. I don't want to relive one of the worst days of my life at a wedding.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Just a suggestion, but I would ask the families of your friends for permission before putting out photos of them
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  • Allie
    VIP November 2021
    Allie ·
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    We already have, and they all loved the idea.

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  • Nikki
    Expert March 2021
    Nikki ·
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    We did one. And quite honestly I’m glad I did! As other comments said “people won’t go visit or makes the day sad” I feel for my wedding it just made the day better. We had all peeps that have passed on watching us. I say do you. If you want a table then go right ahead. I think I would have regretted if I didn’t do one
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  • Allie
    VIP November 2021
    Allie ·
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    After reading all of these comments...I would say I think this is more of a you and your family decision and while you should consider everyone's opinions here, it seems a little more personal than just a yes or no. I knew without a doubt we'd do one and everyone who knows about it loves the idea. But I'm seeing here not everyone is thrilled with it. So I think ultimately you need to just sit down and ask those people in your life what they think and how it'll make them feel about it.

    For me, my grandfather has always been a huge part of my life and my family's lives, even after he passed away. We've done gifts from heaven at Christmas, we do activities as a family to remember him every year, and we still do things year round in memory of him. So to me, that was a no brainer. It would be just like everything else we do because he is always part of things we do, but we make it that way. My FH has a friend who passed away in a bad car accident years ago at a very young age, and his family is the same. Any way they can include him, they will, and they were thrilled we wanted to include his memory at our wedding because he would've been there. So I know those people will really enjoy seeing those photos there and it'll be a comfort because they've said so. But that might not be the same in your case. If your family/friends don't think it's a good idea, you could always do something else to remember them. Some mentioned the photos attached to your bouquet. I've also seen a row kept empty "for those who can't make it here today." It doesn't specify anyone, but it can be a nice way to feel like they're there. So I would advise that you go speak with family and friends and really get their input on how they would feel about it.

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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I saw a grown man tear up and have to excuse himself, and it absolutely broke my heart. Completely ruined the rest of the evening for me, and many other people too. I’m sure the intention behind memorial tables are good ones, but unfortunately they often are not perceived that way. I think remembering those that have passed on special occasions is great, as long as it is kept personal. I don’t think guests should have to be forced to experience that. Having pictures and candles set up for the deceased just feels too much like a memorial or funeral. Definitely not the vibe most people want for their wedding, or for their guests.
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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    One of my cousins did a memorial table at her wedding as well. I wasn’t able to attend the wedding, but my mother and two of her sisters actually left sobbing when they were unexpectedly “greeted” by a memorial table with a picture of their deceased brother front and center. They missed the entire ceremony and left the reception early.
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  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
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    I didn’t want a memorial table. I just don’t like a group of pictures of people who have passed. It seems awkward to me. So, I put things around the reception area to represent the people that have passed. I think they were happy reminders 😊 I had my great grandfathers Pinocchio sitting on the bar, my great grandmothers brooch on my bouquet, my grandfathers race program on the gift table, and I played a song that reminded me of my uncle.
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  • M
    Expert April 2021
    Melody ·
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    We ordered a customized candle that will be set up on a front row chair during the ceremony and then moved to either the gift or guest book table or a small pedestal (still hammering out those details) for the reception. There won't be any pictures, though - just that one candle. I am naturally a very emotional person and would probably break down sobbing if I so much as glanced at a memory table..... not a good look for the bride on her wedding day! The candle is white with a black wrap and around the middle is a red band with the words, "In loving memory of those celebrating with us in heaven." Those being honored by that candle are grandparents who played major roles in our lives, and not having them honored in some way was just out of the question. Most of our guests wouldn't be bothered by a memory table as they had never met those grandparents. We specifically wanted it to be in our wedding colors so that, unless you're looking at it closely, it just looks like normal bit of decoration. The only people who really need to know what it's for are my FH and I.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think it is a sweet idea
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  • Amy
    Savvy June 2021
    Amy ·
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    I’m for them. It’s your day, do what makes you feel comfortable. Tears just mean that person was loved and there’s nothing wrong tears or with honoring loved ones. My FH mom passed away suddenly and we will have pictures and a candle for her. We believe that she is with us in spirit and we want to recognize that on our wedding day.
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