Skip to main content
Jessie
Devoted September 2020

What are your thoughts on a Memory Table?

Jessie, on March 26, 2021 at 10:34 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 4 78
Saved
Reply
I've always thought they were sweet, but when I was researching them, I saw not everyone thinks the same way.


I wanted to get one of those "we know you would be here if Heaven weren't so far away" signs, along with flowers and a couple candles. Pictures of our loved ones, including my parents who passed when I was young. What are your thoughts? Note: we've already had a mini ceremony so this will be our reception only.

78 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on October 13, 2021 at 4:37 PM
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I think it's a great idea. We are doing one as well. We are having pictures, candles, the sign you mentioned and some little trinkets that belong to them.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    I think this is totally a personal preference. Personally, I am not a fan. I do not see the point in them. Most of your guests will not visit a table full of photos with passed loved ones. So I just see it as a waste. Also, a wedding is supposed to be a happy time. I would hate for a guest to get upset because they are looking at a photo of their passed father/son/spouse/etc.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    I personally don't feel a wedding is an appropriate place to display memorials of any kind because it will and does dampen the mood. If you want to include them, put their photos in a locket attached to your bouquet that is not on display.

    • Reply
  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
    • Flag

    Def. personal preference. I don't like them just because no one will look at that table. FH likes it, but we haven't fully decided whether we want it or not. If we do, I don't plan on putting a sign up because literally everyone has the same phrase put on it. We're just going to have a large votive candle with framed pictures around it. We'll put it by the cards and gifts table so it at least gets seen!

    • Reply
  • Allie
    VIP November 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    I am doing this at my wedding. I think it's a nice idea to have a little table like this for guests who would've been there had they still physically been here. I disagree with the person above, I think people do appreciate the thought as I've talked to many people who think it's a really sweet idea and makes them smile to think about. However, some people may not be a fan because it might make them upset if they are still sensitive to the fact that the person is no longer here. For me, it was a must because my grandfather passed away when I was 17 years old, we were extremely close, and I wanted to have something to show how strong our relationship was. My fiance and I have also both lost friends due to a young age, and their families will be there. They will appreciate the fact that their loved one's memory is living on through the people who cared about them most.

    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Dedicated October 2021
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    I agree with some others above; while it’s sweet, it may bring up sad memories for people to be reminded that those people are not there. I think you can acknowledge those loved ones in your heart or whatever way you would like to do so personally, but I would leave it out of a wedding celebration.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    I think it's a sweet idea if you wanted to honor those who have passed that you were close to! However, I wouldn't set one up just because other people are doing it for their weddings. If you had a close relationship to those who passed, I think it's a sweet way to include them in your wedding day. If you weren't particularly close to any of them, I would probably skip it.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    It’s not something that I would do, but it’s not like I’m offended that other people do them. I will say that if it was someone I was close to that had passed somewhat recently, it would take a lot of my focus and definitely put a damper on my mood for something that should be a happy event.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Same here. I asked my husband if he wanted to honor his mother who had passed and he was very much against it for these reasons. He also though he or his brother would become really upset during our ceremony.
    • Reply
  • Katherine
    Expert October 2021
    Katherine ·
    • Flag
    I'll definitely be doing a memory table. Unfortunately one of our groomsmen passed away unexpectedly right before the new year so I definitely want him honored there since it breaks our hearts he won't be there. Along with some Aunts I have had passed recently. I I know some guest may think it's weird or not right but it just makes it seem like they are actually there in some way.
    • Reply
  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    I think this is a great idea. Especially if it’s maybe grandparents that are watching from above. Small table with pictures and candles off to the side is a great idea
    • Reply
  • Chantelle
    Devoted October 2021
    Chantelle ·
    • Flag
    I like the idea of a memory table Smiley smile For me it’s a positive thing. A reminder that these special people are still with you and looking over you on your special day Smiley heart I don’t see it as a sad thing and neither do our families. Maybe ask your family members what they think? Personally my family and my FH’s family feel the same way about the positivity of a memory table. But if a key family member indicated to us that it would make them extremely sad, then we would reconsider.
    • Reply
  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I think it’s weird that some guests would think it’s weird. I think it’s a great idea! As long as it’s subtle and discreet and not like a memorial service the whole night type of thing, I actually feel like if I was attending your wedding I would expect to see something like that given it was a person that was supposed to be a groomsman. I also agree acknowledging family members that you would’ve invited who passed away should go on the table too. I’m actually kind of surprised to see some of the responses against it. Every wedding I’ve been to we’ve always seen memorial table.
    • Reply
  • Claire
    Just Said Yes July 2022
    Claire ·
    • Flag
    My father passed away and we will be doing something to remember him at the wedding, not sure exactly what yet because we’re not religious. I will be using one of his ties to wrap my bouquet. This is one of those, it is your wedding questions. In my circle it would be weirder if I didn’t acknowledge my father in some way. I think memory tables are a sweet way for couples to remember their loved ones, especially parents. In my mind, it’s not so much a reminder that the person is gone, but a physical way of representing the connection and love that lives on.
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    When it comes to memorial tables at weddings 🤔 ..... I get it, but at the same time, I don’t really get it. I guess I feel there are other ways to remember your deceased loved ones on your wedding day besides displaying it for others. I feel it’s more meaningful and sincere when done in a personal fashion versus it being a full wedding decor display to show guests, when it really should be a time for you to intimately remember and acknowledge them that day.
    • Reply
  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
    • Flag

    I personally am not a fan of them.

    • Reply
  • Heather
    Super November 2021
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    I think it's a beautiful thing! I have never seen one in person from the weddings I attended, but I've seen ideas online and thought they were cute. Just like what majority of everyone else said, it's based on preferences. I'm sure your intention is to display it on there in remembrance and honor the good times, not the the time of their passing. So, it depends on how your guests take it. Maybe find your favorite pictures of them or a moment of when they looked so happy. And then maybe on a notecard next to it you can say something short and simple about that memory. For example, "My parent's first date," or "My parents and I at my first birthday party". Or you can even quote their funny sayings, or quote something that meant something to you. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    What are your thoughts on a Memory Table? 1
    Here is a photo of ours ❤️ I wanted to do it to honor those who are certainly not forgotten on both sides of our family. Each had a tea light candle in front of the photo. For me, it was a way of showing we will not forget them and they are with us in spirit and showing my husband’s family their loved ones are always remembered too. 💛💛💛
    • Reply
  • Jasmine S.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine S. ·
    • Flag
    I went to a wedding where the memorial table didn't just have portraits of the deceased, but their wedding photos. This worked well because it was the couple's grandparents. I guess it depends who the people were and the kind of message you want to send.
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    This is how I feel. This hasn't happened to me, but I think I would only be personally upset if there was a display of someone I was really close to who had died recently. Grief is such a personal thing, so as long as the person choosing the photos and how they display them are being sensitive to others who may be grieving, it's fine.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
ReCaptcha Verification failed. Please try again.

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics