Emily
Expert November 2014

What are you not compromising on?

Emily, on November 10, 2014 at 1:01 PM Posted in Planning 0 27
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So after I got into a massive fight this weekend with my sister and mother about how they have taken over my entire wedding (srsly they chose the colours, the decor, the guest list, the flowers, they even tried to veto my decision to have soup because apparently adults are not able to eat soup without slopping it all over themselves, ridiculous).

So I put my foot down when it comes to the entrance. We don't want one, we just want to mingle with our guests and have a fun evening and not have all eyes on us more then they already will be. My mother proceeded to tell me I had to do it. I said I don't have to do anything. Fight ensues.....

So I am curious what have you other brides refused to compromise on?

27 Comments

Latest activity by Private User, on November 11, 2014 at 9:40 AM
  • KM
    Master March 2015
    KM ·
    • Flag

    Venue. We had to double our budget for it, but I picked it 6 months before we got engaged, and I had to have it.

    • Reply
  • Lennox
    Super May 2015
    Lennox ·
    • Flag

    No religion. Niether FH nor I were raised in any sort of religious way but FMIL identifies as Catholic and has asked us a few times if we are SURE we don't want to get married in a church. She herself only attends church for Christmas and if she is visiting her parents so I really don't the push from her. Last time she brought it up I shot her down nicely and then FH shot her down even further so I don't think it will be a topic again.

    • Reply
  • Genny
    Master May 2015
    Genny ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't compromise on food or alcohol. Luckily for me, nobody is trying to take over my wedding. Both my mother and my FMIL ask me how my wedding planning is going and help me find things or offer opinions when asked, but they are letting us plan everything. I only have to compromise with my budget.

    • Reply
  • Jillian
    Master May 2015
    Jillian ·
    • Flag

    I'm not really compromising on anything, but if I had to pick one we wouldn't compromise on food, we ended up changing out minds and going with their most expensive package. Also I'm not compromising on my décor, I want it all. I've been doing things here and there to save money like the toasting glasses/knife set we got a cheap set of those because we will only use it for the short time and rather put the extra money from here and there towards décor. Oh also my dress - I was hoping to be around 1,000 for dress/shoes/accessories, my dress was about 1850 after taxes/shipping, etc.

    • Reply
  • Lauren R.
    VIP August 2015
    Lauren R. ·
    • Flag

    Sorry you're having a tough time with your mom and sister. Funny enough, my mom vetoed tacos for the slopping reason. I really wanted a taco truck, but she was convinced I'd spill them on myself - and she's paying for food. I was pissed at first, but she is right. I'm a terribly messy eater and I would be the girl with salsa all over my dress. lol

    Anyway, having alcohol is what we chose not to compromise on. FH and I are both introverts with LOUD, energetic families, so its more for us than the guests. We will need it to calm our nerves. I know that sounds terrible, but it's true.

    • Reply
  • 8815wedding
    VIP August 2015
    8815wedding ·
    • Flag

    We're not compromising on our venue. It's a bit pricey and smaller than we would like, but when we saw it we both fell in love and are making it work. Just gotta keep cutting the guest list and hoping people don't mind squeezing at tables!

    • Reply
  • Candyce
    Super January 2015
    Candyce ·
    • Flag

    My reception period, FMIL wanted this grand thing and i did also BUT after changing the date to be so sooner we realized we couldnt afford the grand thing so we went for a totally different approach and she was so not happy with that but we are doing our choice instead

    • Reply
  • Angie
    VIP August 2015
    Angie ·
    • Flag

    I'm not compromising on having an EVEN wedding party. May sound petty, but I HAVE to have it even on both sides... or it will annoy the crap out of me! My fsil keeps throwing out ideas that seem really hillbilly/redneck to me. She also tried to get me to change my colors. I recently joined a local fb page that sells used wedding supplies/dresses. EVERY thing on there is f'n mason jars, burlap, and/or lace! I guess that's what I get for living in WV.... EVERY wedding is F'n Hillbilly here! Sorry if I offended anyone.

    ETA: We are dealing with 2 brides in my situation, so I have compromised a LOT for FW.

    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    Master December 2021
    Kathryn ·
    • Flag

    I refused to compromise on my dress and my videographer. My mom is mostly paying for our wedding and she gave me a budget of $1500 for the dress. Mine was $2100 so I paid the difference since I didnt want to compromise.

    I knew my mom would have a heart attack if I told her how much the videographer cost so I am paying for that myself so she wont have to know haha. But I had to have him

    • Reply
  • Shelby H.
    VIP October 2014
    Shelby H. ·
    • Flag

    I refused to compromise on size, no matter how many assumptions and nasty FB messages we got for "cutting" people out.

    And it was perfect.

    • Reply
  • Janeen
    Master January 2015
    Janeen ·
    • Flag

    Are we talking about compromises with the family or compromises with the FH?

    With anyone else? I haven't compromised on anything. I have certainly received other people's opinions and I say "thanks for your comment" and move on.

    As for FH, I sorta pull that Monica move from friends when she was planning her wedding. She would give him two choices, and he would choose the one she didn't like, so she would give him the choices again letting him know which answer was correct. Haha. Not really, but my FH has given me a lot of latitude to make the decisions.

    • Reply
  • B
    Master December 2015
    BunnyLove ·
    • Flag

    Food, alcohol and my shoes.

    • Reply
  • Future Mrs.
    Devoted May 2015
    Future Mrs. ·
    • Flag

    Not compromising on our guest list. We are sticking with a small group and not adding anyone.

    • Reply
  • Jess
    Savvy June 2015
    Jess ·
    • Flag

    Absolutely nothing. i listened to the opinions of others (mother, grandmother, mother-in-law [shoot me]) for about 4 seconds before i realized that if you give an inch, they take a damn mile! they're relentless! compromising happens between me and FH, and that is all.

    • Reply
  • Heather
    Devoted November 2014
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    I didn't compromise on a thing! It was my day and everything was exactly how I wanted it. I suggest you do the same.

    • Reply
  • Precious
    VIP August 2015
    Precious ·
    • Flag

    I want a served dinner. We walked out of venues in the middle of open houses because they only have buffet dinners. I always loved the elegant feel of a served dinner.

    • Reply
  • Andrea
    Expert May 2015
    Andrea ·
    • Flag

    Photographer, my mother and my FH family both seem to think that a person with a camera = photographer. I keep trying to explain that I want some GOOD photos where I will be happy to display them forever. I am also plus sized so a good photographer will know how to take photos at the best angles to make me look good.

    Drives me nuts sometimes.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsMerritt
    VIP September 2015
    FutureMrsMerritt ·
    • Flag

    I'm not having an entrance either! There is no need, I want to sit back and relax. I'm not compromising on believe it or not something not really involving the wedding. I am willing to change things in the wedding but am unwilling to A) have a bachelorette party at a strip club B) skip my morning routine the day of and C) compromise on the dress I want. Its more of the things leading up to the big day that I want in particular.

    • Reply
  • Happy In Hawaii
    Master July 2015
    Happy In Hawaii ·
    • Flag

    I refused to let my ex bm bring her baby to the wedding. This is why she is an ex bm. There's a lot to the story...but that's the basic.

    • Reply
  • Michy
    VIP June 2015
    Michy ·
    • Flag

    I wanted to elope and FH wanted a big expensive wedding. So we compromised and are having a budget-friendly medium sized wedding. Haha.

    As for no compromises, it was our photographer. My FH doesn't really care about having good photos but to me it's a dealbreaker, my #1 important thing for the whole day (besides getting married lol). So we found an amazing photographer and I am so happy. Best part is... she didn't break the bank either. I feel like the luckiest girl... my demanding side and my cheap side are both happy... so rare, LOL

    • Reply

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