Devoted June 2016

Wedding: Why is it important to you?

QueenThompson, on January 14, 2015 at 10:40 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 48

I always get some family members/ friends tell me to ditch the wedding and just spend the money on our honeymoon. I want a wedding mainly for the party aspect with my family and friends but I must admit sometimes I do want to ditch the wedding due to the cost and craziness of having a wedding. I...

I always get some family members/ friends tell me to ditch the wedding and just spend the money on our honeymoon. I want a wedding mainly for the party aspect with my family and friends but I must admit sometimes I do want to ditch the wedding due to the cost and craziness of having a wedding.

I would love to know why having a is wedding important to you?


  • KM
    Master March 2015
    KM ·

    I'm all about life experiences, and I just feel like a wedding (like ceremony, reception, etc) is one of those life experiences that everyone should have! Just like my mom thinks natural childbirth is an experience every woman should have if she can (blah). I admittedly have FOMO (fear of missing out) syndrome big time sometimes, and this is one of those times, so we're doing the "wedding thing".

  • MelissaC
    Master January 2015
    MelissaC ·

    Everyone at work told me to elope and take the money and use it on an awesome vacation. I said hell to the no. I wanted my big wedding that I've dreamed of since I was 5 and have been saving up for since I was 20 even when I didn't have a boyfriend. What matters most is that I'm marrying the right person, but since we have the money, why can't I have my dream come true? Everyone stopped telling me to elope after a while. Sure it's stressful when my family is involved, but at the end of the day, with or without my family, I'll get my huge cake, three dresses, awesome pictures, great food, and the man of my dreams. I'm not about to give that up for something small just to avoid stress. No offense to those who want a small wedding. My MOH had one and it was beautiful, it's just not my dream. Plus our parents are really traditional and family means a lot to my FH, so having everyone there was important to him.

  • Mrs. V V
    Master June 2014
    Mrs. V V ·

    I didn't want the big wedding thing. We decided on Vegas. So my vision was a weekend in Vegas where our important people were there, who stopped partying to see us get married. Our ceremony was full with close to 60 people. Our dinner had about 20. I wouldn't have changed any of it.

  • JaKLyn
    Master November 2015
    JaKLyn ·

    It's important to my FH that he have all of his loved ones with us.

  • M
    Beginner October 2015
    mrsartp ·

    It is very important to me to gather our families together and pledge our commitment to one another in front of them, and to ask for their blessing and support. Family is very important to me and my marriage isn't just about ME and my FH. Us joining together involves a lot of people and I want to make sure they know that the bringing together of our families is important to us.

  • Lori
    Master June 2015
    Lori ·

    Because this is the one chance I have to have everyone who loves me and FH together, in one room.

  • Pancakes
    Master October 2015
    Pancakes ·

    I am invisible. I'm that person who goes out to a fast food place by myself and my order gets forgotten about. So it'd be nice to have one day where people know I exist. Also, I didn't get to go to prom. Went to an academic national competition in New York. Gave my boyfriend money to buy his prom ticket and he used that money to buy a ticket for our best friend and slept with her that night. So since I didn't get to be all dolled up for prom (and dances before that was thrift store dresses under $10 worn multiple times), I'd like a day to get all dolled up. I also want to throw a fancy and fun, over the top party. I'm not going to thrown $20k down again for a party in my life. So this is my time. I also sort of need the commitment from my FH. He hasn't done anything to warrant it, but because of my past, I feel that everyone is out to get me. I am constantly being walked over, which makes me an easy target to have friends turns on me. I don't like contributing towards rumors so I am an easy target to spread lies since I keep things private. I've lost friends because I jokingly said she was being kind of mean and then took it back instantly (then she told the whole school I was drinking gallons of bleach daily for attention), I told my boyfriend in high school I wanted to wait to get engaged until we were out of school (so he told everyone I gave him an ultimatum to be engaged before graduation), I told a friend her best friend was making fun of her weight behind her back (so she ripped me a new one and told everyone I was spreading lies), and so much more. So I really need someone to show me that, even after 5 years of being together, he is being serious about our relationship and really likes me. Sounds dumb and crazy, but that's how I feel.

  • KayDwitWill
    Master May 2015
    KayDwitWill ·

    FH wants the wedding. It's my compromise with him. Either way, I get to marry him. The wedding way is just causing me more stress. He wanted the wedding to celebrate with our families; I could care less about them. Mean I know but it's my truth! I'm trying to start new traditions for my daughter.

  • Jess
    Master May 2015
    Jess ·

    The wedding isn't all that important to me and I often think F THIS. I'd just as soon run to the courthouse and sign the paperwork and be done with it. However, I am beyond excited for the photos. That's what keeps me hanging in there. Also, I'm afraid if we ditch the wedding, we'll regret is someday, as I don't agree with the have a wedding after you're married thing (other than in cases where it makes sense to do so for legal/personal reasons).

    @Pancakes... the invisible thing... totally get you. Me too.

  • Snarky
    Master September 2014
    Snarky ·

    This is too hard of a question. All of the answers that have all been posted, wrapped all together. I'd also like to add that I really wanted my husband to have a big fancy wedding. No one in his immediate family had one, his brothers both went down to the courthouse without even telling anyone, so I really wanted him to have the whole shebang.

  • LB
    Master May 2014
    LB ·

    I wanted to forego the wedding because we're older...but my husband wanted to do things 'the right way' (he is a member of a very small church that he's belonged to his whole life) and then it just seemed right. We weren't extravagant but we weren't cheap. It was the right balance for *us*.

    Do what works for you.

  • Future Mrs. D
    Expert May 2015
    Future Mrs. D ·

    FH wanted to do the city hall route, I wanted a wedding. In the end, we went with a wedding, but i'm slowly starting to wish I just married him at city hall already and started our lives together. Im getting a little too stressed with this wedding stuff.

  • Northern MN
    Master November 2014
    Northern MN ·

    I was way more about the wedding than a honeymoon (we actually i think are doing more mini moons instead of a full on honeymoon)...I really wanted to celebrate our love for one another with those that we love, admire, care about and that have played such important roles in our life.

    It wasn't about us alone it was about my parents and his parents and my family and friends etc that all supported us to getting to the point we were at...so it was a big wedding and it was pretty much everything I could have hoped for (other than being a warm fall day...but we don't get everything we want in life).

  • OGSue
    Master August 2016
    OGSue ·

    There is something symbolic about having this day to celebrate your relationship. In the end it's the marriage that's the important part not the wedding, but it feels like a really good way to start that new step in your lives together as officially a family.

  • NewestHess
    Super May 2015
    NewestHess ·

    For our families mostly. My mom may have literally killed me if I had eloped....

  • Munkos
    VIP September 2014
    Munkos ·

    For a few reasons.

    Many of the reasons my family has come together over my life time have been funerals. I really, really wanted to have happy memories of being with my family after we have suffered so many big losses in such a short amount of time. I think for them too, weddings are really important (along with babies and the things that go along with that.) for this reason we chose not to elope or have a super intimate wedding. We had discussed only immediate family, but I really wanted to have all of my close family there so we ended up with 45 people all together.

    We have been together 10 years in March, and we wanted to celebrate our relationship with those we love, and those who have supported us along the whole way. I wanted one weekend with those who mean the most to us. Not just for us, but as a thank you to them, too. (The weekend was more than just our wedding).

    I wanted to have the same last name as my daughter. So while the wedding it's self didn't need to happen, the marriage did.

    Honestly, we hadn't ever really planned to get married and neither of us cared too much about it. We're in it for the long haul, marriage or not - but having a wedding seemed to be the perfect way to celebrate us and how far we've come in all these years.

    Also, it was a step forward in grieving for me. My mom died when I was 14 and my dad when I was 18. For the longest time the thought of a traditional wedding was really, really hard for me. I didn't feel happy about it, only empty. So being able to plan this wedding and go through with it and do so happily and with strength, was a huge deal for me.

    The place we got married is "our" place. We go there every year for our anniversary and we have always known if we did decide to get married, it would be there.

    We are so lucky to have so many special people in our lives, I'm really happy we had the chance to celebrate with them.

  • KitandKaboodle
    Master November 2016
    KitandKaboodle ·

    We are a very private couple. Our wedding is a way for us to express how we really feel about one another in front of our family and friends.

  • Jovanna
    Expert May 2015
    Jovanna ·

    Me and FH have been together for over 14 years. We both want a wedding because we want all to witness our love and commitment to each other. To have a day that we call our own. And to show our 5 kids that anything is possible if you have love. My girls are very excited and so is our son (although he doesn't want to see us kiss lol) To show them what love and life is supposed to be like. My girls are now planning their weddings in their heads lol (my biggest daughter wants my dress so I'm killing myself to try to walk in these ridiculous heels so I don't have to alter it too much so she can one day have it lol)

  • Angie
    Super October 2015
    Angie ·

    Getting my friends and family in one place for a beautiful party.

  • BreeCheez
    VIP April 2015
    BreeCheez ·

    TBH it's not important to me. It's important to his family. He is the youngest of both his full, half & step siblings. He is his mothers only son & baby. He is his dads only child & only son. (both are remarried & he has 2 step brothers, 2 step sisters & 1 half sister) All the siblings were married (except 1) in a courthouse or in secret w/o family there. So his family practically begged for some kind of wedding that they could actually attend, they even said if it was just to the courthouse, as long as they were invited.

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