Wedding Talk

I'm kind of in the minority here but I also don't think you should have to keep things off social media. I mean, that's kinda what it's for. You post about everything else in your life, so why should such a major event have to be kept quiet. If people assume they're invited, that's their problem. I have never, and would never assume I was invited to someone's wedding. When people I know post on fb, I get excited for them and I love seeing the pictures but I never assume I'm invited or get insulted that I'm not.

If people try to bring it up, like "How's wedding planning going?" Just tell them it's going great and change the subject. There's no need to ramble on to people who aren't invited.

I agree with @LynZLeigh and @Nessa

I love seeing other people's wedding info but never once assumed I was invited. Unfortunately not everyone can behave in a civilized manner on social media. So if you're going to post things you'll just have to get used to hearing about it. Just have the same response to everyone about the invitation process and don't worry about it.

I had a coworker talk about my wedding before I was engaged, I just smiled and walked away.

The only thing I have posted on social media about the wedding is that I got engaged..... about 3 months later lol. I want to avoid the drama at all costs.

Ahh I love you ladies!! Lol yes I post a lot on FB so posting a couple wedding related things didn't seem to crazy to me but trust me I have wanted to post more. It feels good getting a lot of love and support from people who are happy for us invited or not. It's just those select few who think they are entitled to things. I think I will be selective in what I post but still allow myself because I deserve to be excited. Also, the godmother comment LOL I love see pictures of babies but don't expect to babysit or be at the delivery. Thanks for making me feel much better about this!!

Tell your coworker's that you and FH agreed no coworker's. That's pretty common and will shut down any fishing for invites.

I'll post a picture or comment occasionally. I don't think it's a problem or that people should assume they're invited because of that. I've seen people post that invites will be out soon and to message the bride if they want to come and haven't given them their address yet. Lol I was tempted to message her my address like "omg, can't wait until your big day! See you there!" Now that kind of social media post is way too much.

I had the same issue! It's tough because it's so easy to just smile, nod, and wander away without saying 'no' flatout! Lately I've been pulling the expense card... "I have a huge family and it's adding up so quickly that it makes sense to just do family and friends that I've known forever." Facebook wasn't a place that I had this problem as much as in person!

I barely post selfies and pictures of FH and I. I don't live my life through FB as I feel a lot of people do; maybe it's an age thing. I feel some people act like they can't take a shit without making a status update about it.

The reason he doesn't want to post anything wedding related on FB is because he's fairly private (as am I) and he knows I have a mouth and I'll say something to "offend" one of his FB friends.

My FB friends either know better or the ones that don't will quickly find out.

When people ask me when the big day is I just say, "November" if they push for the date I explain that FH and I are trying to keep cost down but both have big families so they are the priority. We wish we could fit everyone but just can't afford it. Everyone seems to get the hint and "understand". I still try to avoid telling people the day, except for co-workers. I started this job after the engagement and the majority of the women here have been married before/understand budget/guest restrictions. They all understand not being able to be invited and just like to hear about the planning.

I'm of the opinion that as long as you are not crazy oversharing or inundating people with everything wedding, sharing occasionally is not a bad thing. People that assume they are invited or ask about it are ass hats. I have never once looked at something a friend posted on social media and assumed that I was invited to their wedding. Instead, I have fun looking at pictures from their day and seeing all the fun they are having planning and stuff.

I definitely advise to keep the social media posts about your wedding to a minimum, but posting your engagement pictures is super common!!

It's always a tough situation when people talk to you about the wedding. Only you can really feel out if they're just being polite or if they think they're invited! Either way it's best to be as cryptic as you can and limit the wedding talk in front of people who aren't invited. I've done what @VJ suggested and throughout the whole engagement would say "next fall" or "october" or "north carolina" to answer when/where questions and don't go into specifics!

OMG! I can totally relate. I was at a BBQ this past weekend and so many people felt the need to invite themselves to our wedding next year. I feel like that is so rude, and it puts so much pressure on the couple. I understand that people are excited, but weddings are expensive! To be very honest, FH and I only want people there who truly support us and who we actually communicate with on a regular basis. I've learned to keep wedding info off of social media, and I keep all question about wedding things in my immediate circle. I also keep convos at work to a minimum. Oh one more thing, lol, I've had to have a conversation with my parents about inviting their friends or even some family on the side. Things have gotten a lot better since those convos.

I'm more in the camp of @Lynz and @Nessa on this one. Do I post every intimate detail of our wedding planning on social media? Definitely not. Did I post a cute selfie this morning with the caption "300 days until 'I Do'!"? Yes, I definitely did.

Maybe I'm just not popular or well-liked, but I have not had anyone (ETA: anyone who's not invited) saying "we better be invited" or "can't wait!" I've had the same experiences as others, followed the wedding planning of acquaintances on social media, but never once expected I'd be invited. I'm assuming that's what others are doing with me as well.

I dont post anything wedding related on social media and I only talk details with those invited. If someone else asks I say its going well as leave it at that.

I hate that I have to censor myself on social media because people don't know how to act. I have posted, and every time someone asks where is my invite? I tell them the truth, we are at our max we can invite. Sorry I am not going to censor myself just to spare the feelings of a few people I never see. It isn't that I don't care about them, I do, but come on have some common sense.

We posted a picture of us from the day we got engaged a day later when we updated our relationship status (the ring wasn't even in the picture) and we both changed our profile pictures when we got our engagement pictures back. We're fairly private people to begin with, but we didn't feel like we should plaster Facebook with mentions if our wedding. We've saved the rest of our engagement pictures for our guests to see on our website. I've not received any presumptuous questions or comments about the wedding via social media.

When people ask me about the wedding date, I do what @VJ does and I simply say "March" if the inquiring party isn't on our guest list. I'll give the full date if they follow up with "when in March?" I don't start conversations about my wedding. If others ask me about the wedding, I do answer. I'm usually less specific with my answers if the person asking isn't getting an invitation. I do have a really easy out if someone starts to press for too many details: the wedding is taking place about 2,900 miles away. If I feel like the person who isn't on the guest list is asking too much, I slip into my next answer that the wedding is going to be in Delaware and that usually ends the conversation because it turns out not everyone wants to travel cross country for your wedding unless you're family or BFFs.

What a nightmare! IF you keep posting anything, make sure you use words like "intimate" or "family only". Then if a friend IS invited, they will feel extra special!

Yea, I'd love to share my excitement on social media but can't for this very reason. Unfortunately, that's how it is for most of us. Even when I just post a picture of us randomly, I get comments about the wedding or private messages asking for the date.

I don't post much on social media, however things just get out even by word of mouth from others. Some people don't really understand some etiquette, and a few people have actually asked me if they could come or assumed they were coming. If they don't get an invite, they aren't going to come, it's as simple as that. I had to graciously tell a few people unfortunately the venue will not accommodate a certain number of people so unfortunately they were not invited. lol. Call me rude, but it's better than saying you are trying to keep costs low. We are trying to keep costs low and the venue is a smaller setting, so it really isn't a lie.