TheFutureMrs.Singletary
Just Said Yes January 2018

Wedding Planning w/ an Incarcerated Fiance'

TheFutureMrs.Singletary, on November 10, 2014 at 10:01 PM Posted in Planning 0 12
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As if the stress of him being in prison isn't enough I now have to plan our big day without him here. UGH this has got to be one of the hardest things ever. Idk whether to just wait or go ahead and begin with the plans. He is fine with it either way, as long as I'm comfortable and happy. what do I do?

12 Comments

  • Mrs.T
    VIP February 2015
    Mrs.T ·
    • Flag

    Just go for it, and talk to him about what you are thinking planning wise when you see him and on the phone. My ex was in prison for a few years so I empathize with you. How long will he be out before the wedding? My FH has pretty much zero to do with planning and is sitting right next to me, at least yours has an excuse! Smiley smile

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  • future mrs hall
    VIP May 2015
    future mrs hall ·
    • Flag

    I feel for you. my ex's mom was in prison for a couple years and it sucks! but I agree with mrs t, my fh is very "whatever makes you happy" and I feel that most guys are that way. plan for what you know you both enjoy and call it a day. when you get to talk to him on the phone or in letters you can let him know what you've been up to wedding wise and he will have something more to look forward to and hopefully help the time fly quicker. how long will he be out before you get married? I will say, I wouldn't have the wedding like the week after he's out, depending on how long he's been in. sometimes they need a little bit of time to acclimate to real life.

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  • StitchingBride
    Master October 2014
    StitchingBride ·
    • Flag

    Ok, allow me a weird moment. when I say Mrs.T comment about how your groom has a excuse for not being involved with the planning - I laughed my head off.

    I realized that if I was in your shoes i wouldn't have let my groom of the hook! I'd be all over him during visiting and letters telling him to make decisions on this or that lol

    if it was me, I think I'd go ahead and plan. if you look at other posts, lots of grooms aren't involved and they aren't in prison! how will you feel if you put off planning until he's out, and he still isn't involved?

    I say go ahead, and see if you can find yourself a good wedding planner! good luck!

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  • .
    Master October 2013
    .... ·
    • Flag

    Your wedding date is 2019. There is nothing you really can plan now. When will he be out?

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  • Antoinette
    Super July 2015
    Antoinette ·
    • Flag

    Maybe, U can just come up with some ideas and write them down. Talk them over with him as U go along. I can't see your wedding date.

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  • Kemmie
    VIP May 2015
    Kemmie ·
    • Flag

    Can't you plan closer to hes release date?

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  • JanuaryWedding
    Super January 2016
    JanuaryWedding ·
    • Flag

    If your date is 2019, at this point I would only worry about saving up for it!

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  • Monana
    VIP May 2015
    Monana ·
    • Flag

    I also laughed at prison being a good excuse for a man to not have to contribute to wedding planning. Better not give FH any ideas. Lol, what would he have to do to get locked up for 5 months or so?

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  • Mrs.Anna Noble
    VIP July 2016
    Mrs.Anna Noble ·
    • Flag

    My husband is currently incarcerated as well. We got married while he's in prison.that defiantly wasn't a picnic.we are planning on having a big ceremony once he gets out.I tell him my plans at visits and through our letters.

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  • M
    Master December 2014
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    I would just plan and have everything ready for when he gets out. My brother is also in jail so he will be missing my wedding. Sucks but nothing I can do :/

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  • kristenann
    Master October 2014
    kristenann ·
    • Flag

    If your wedding date isn't until 2019, I would wait until at least 2017 to even start planning. There are a lot of factors that you need to think about before planning on both his release and a wedding. You need to make sure that he's doing everything that he needs to do to secure either his parole or his release, that includes securing a job. (yes, they have jobs inside the prison and social workers to help him find a job post release) Is he going to pre release from prison, parole or max out? If he either pre releases or paroles, is there a halfway house stipulation. Most prison sentences in NJ/PA include a stipulation for halfway house time- which is a minimum of 90 days for parolees and usually 180 days for pre release. Lastly, if he does in fact need to go to a halfway house, you cannot legally change your status while in a halfway house, you must wait until he releases to get married.

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  • Barbara
    Master September 2014
    Barbara ·
    • Flag

    Another thing to consider is that wedding planning can be very emotionally draining and stressful. Yes, our grooms aren't very helpful in picking details or handling logistics, but I think when it comes down to it, having them there to hug us and to get our minds off wedding planning when needed has been how a lot of brides have kept sane. If you decide to start planning before his release, is there a close friend or family member that can rely on for that kind of emotional support?

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