Devoted June 2021

Wedding planning/ is your fiancé as enthusiastic as you?

on November 30, 2019 at 11:24 AM Posted in Planning 0 13
Hey Ladies.

I hear time and time again how the wedding is all about the bride and it’s normal for the guy (your fiancé) to not be as enthusiastic, interested or involved in the planning process as you are?
What are you thoughts on this?
Me personally, I think it’s about both the bride and groom and as they are both entering a marriage they should both be equally involved in the planning of the start of the rest of their lives together.


Latest activity by Alejandra, on December 4, 2019 at 3:01 PM
  • Neeva
    VIP September 2020
    Neeva ·
    • Flag

    My FH is totally interested in the wedding but has no interest in the planning. And can't say I blame him because it is a lot of little details and organization, which are not his strengths. He also just doesn't care about decor or flowers as much as me so I involve him in things he can help with or has an interest in.

    He is interested in the food, cake, picking the venue, groomsmen outfits, groomsmen gifts, his outfit so I include him in those.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I think this really boils down to personality types. My husband is not a planner by nature. I am. Most holidays and get togethers we host happen because I plan them. Because of this I knew he wouldn’t take the lead on most of the wedding planning so I sat him down after we initially started and explained that I needed him to be more involved in planning and then he was.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I agree with PP, if your FS isn’t inherently a planner, I wouldn’t expect their entire personality to change just because you’re getting married. My wife was extremely excited for our wedding and helped with the big decisions, but she couldn’t care less about centerpieces or napkins folds.
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    I have honestly never heard that the wedding was "all about the bride." It takes 2 people to enter into a marriage.

    While my husband wasn't that into the details, he accompanied me on every vendor meeting. We picked out all the specific songs together. He gave his input on registry items and invitations, etc. I often did a lot of the online scouting and then talked to him about what I found and we made decisions from there. He was involved in pretty much every aspect, and he is not a planner or the type of person to usually care about these things. But, he knew I wanted his input, so when I asked him for it, he gave it. He did, in fact, even help pick napkin colors! Lol.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    He didn’t care about planning until the week before even though he wanted the wedding and I wanted the courthouse. If I didn’t do everything it wouldn’t have ever gotten done.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    I agree it depends on the person. My situation is the opposite of Mrs. Sarantos where my FH would rather the courthouse lol. I read an article about what men think about weddings and they were quotes from men and very few cared about the details. One mentioned he just wanted a nacho cheese fountain or he would be piss lol. I agree that it is about two people and the big day should be what both what but I think when you hear it is for the woman even my FH said that...more so meaning it is most women that want the big day rather a man. I am a planner and that works for us so I am happy to do more but I will check with him to make sure he is happy with what we are doing. The deal we have is that I get the elopement I want and he gets the honeymoon he wants ha ha ha. Your mindset is right that it is about what you two want to watch others telling you what to do or making you think it is your day so make decisions without him because you both should be happy with your day. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I don't feel like my husband was aha but there were certain aspects he was such as the food
    • Reply
  • Rose
    Devoted February 2020
    Rose ·
    • Flag

    My FH is letting me take the lead but I ask his every input for the most part. The only thing that I’ve really been picking out solo are the ceremony songs. And that is because he had a wedding his first go round and I just eloped.

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    My FH is quite involved in the wedding planning. I'm taking the lead on most things (because I'm super organized and detail oriented, so it's a natural fit), but we both discuss all details with one another and are on the same page before any decisions are made. The only part he isn't really involved in is my dress and my bridal stuff (hairstyle, makeup, shoes, etc) but even those things I've had his input on, just in a vaguer sense (for example, I showed him photos of several $10k+ wedding gowns and asked which he liked best, knowing I'd never buy any of those gowns but would get ideas about silhouettes and features he liked).

    I've probably done more overall to coordinate our wedding (I researched most of the vendors, built our wedding website, organized our guest list, designed our STDs, etc) and have taken the lead on parts of the wedding that I'm more knowledgable in (photography, flowers) but had him take the lead on a couple things (music, alcohol). Doing that was really important to show that we're a team and it doesn't need to be, nor should it be, me doing everything. It made my job easier and made him feel trusted, and it encourages us to communicate and check in regularly about details.

    I wouldn't say our wedding planning work has been split evenly 50/50 but I feel like we are doing everything together and we're both involved to a point where we are comfortable and feel supported. As far as I'm concerned he is the perfect amount of involved and enthusiastic about our big day.

    • Reply
  • Maria
    Dedicated June 2020
    Maria ·
    • Flag

    Even though I am the planner, my FH has been involved in every aspect of planning. We like to share our opinions and do things as a couple as I think it should be.

    • Reply
  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
    • Flag

    My FH is super excited about the wedding, but he has no interest in planning it. I am the planner in the relationship, so this doesn't surprise or bother me. When he has an opinion on something, he tells me and when he says its up to me, he means it.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    FH is letting me take the lead, but I ask him on his opinion for everything and we make the decisions together!

    • Reply
  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
    • Flag

    Hubby always told me to choose what would make me happy and I told him that we should make these "Happy" choices together, lol. I would sit with him once a week maybe and go over research I'd done on flowers, djs, food, etc and we would talk it out, there were a few places (planning wise) were he seemed excited to talk about so I let him take the lead, for example he was super excited about the dj so I asked him to make the appt and be the contact person, same with cake, his tux and whatever else he seemed to be excited about. Talk about it with him, see what jumps out at him as exciting and let him do his part, unfortunately they don't seem as excited about the planning.

    • Reply

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