Wedding planner hoping for some help.

Our wedding is not military based, but my husband is active duty, so I totally understand this presents challenges, especially through covid with restrictions. Here to help you, if I can!

I am not military but from a different culture. I am from Europe, my husband is from the Middle East and we got married and currently live in the US. We started our relationship long-distance and I moved here because of him.
Happy to answer questions if I can.

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Have you possibly attended a wedding that was military based if your husband is active duty? My questions relate to how the day will run. Thanks

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Thanks for you reply. Where are you from in Europe? Was it a religious or non religious wedding?

View Quoted Comment I am from Germany. Religious wedding.

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Aw perfect. I’ve got 7 questions if that’s ok? I’ll send a few at a time so not to overload you lol.

Did I read you wed in the U.S? If so where about?

How long did the ceremony take?

How long did the whole wedding celebration take?

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Yes, we got married in the US, in Texas. So it was a German-Syrian-Texan wedding and some of my friends who watched the livestream of the ceremony commented how American everything was. While all of our American guests said they never seen a ceremony like this. So, I don't know how much my wedding is helpful to you since we did what was important to us. Plus I got married during covid which also affected things.


Our ceremony was 1 hour long. Followed by cocktail hour and reception. Everything went from 1pm to 6pm.

A typical German wedding would have the ceremony (which is actually a church service and lasts usually 45 to 60 minutes) early afternoon (maybe 2pm) followed by a receiving line and coffee and cake (and maybe champagne) at the church (often people attend the ceremony who are not invited to the reception - so they get at least cake and get to talk to the bride and groom). Afterwards people who are invited to the reception travel to reception venue - I am from a big city and often there is at least half an hour to travel) and reception is from 6ish until 2am, 3am, 4am. Between cake and reception is when the couple takes photos. Family or group pictures are usually taken at the beginning of the reception. Traditionally we don't have bridesmaids or groomsmen so that means less formal pictures. Though now more and more people copy US traditions and have a bridalparty.

The reception is dinner and then speeches and often skits and games and later dancing and the wedding cake at midnight and more dancing. In the end they are often just a handful of people left and the couple is usually among the last to leave. I've been to German weddings that were different but I would say that's what most people I know have done.

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Thank you I appreciate the help. If I send the questions anyway and see if you can answer them. If not don’t worry at all. (You’ve already answered the structure of the day so thanks for that .

What did u most enjoy about ur day?

What do u consider a key feature of a German religious wedding and was it included in your wedding in the U.S?

What would you change! Or do not like about a typical wedding in your culture?

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I enjoyed most of my day ... everything. :-D Marrying my husband, wearing my dress, our guests, the food, the weather, picture taking, ... .

We loved our ceremony. It was very special and we were able to incorporate all of our languages and some of our friends and family who weren't able to be there in person. We had two scripture readings and they were done by friends who weren't there. They recorded it on video and that was super special. Two of my friends also sang a song on video and my family (who couldn't come because of covid travel restrictions) sent a video with some greetings. We had friends in person come up on stage and pray for us.

We also had a livestream, so friends all over the world were watching online. Some of my German friends commented on how American they thought the ceremony was and our American guests who attended had never seen a ceremony like ours. So, again, I don't how much help I am.

Our ceremony was about one hour long. It was inside the church. We had flower girls but no bridal party. I walked down the aisle by myself after the flower girls. My husband waited for me infront of the stage. We went up on the stage together and the officiant greeted everyone and started out with "the intentions" ... this is part of the catholic (I believe) liturgy. It was new to me but important to our officiant (a friend) even though we are not catholic and our evangelical church tradition is not very liturgical. After that we went to our seats which were in the first row and decorated for us. We had someone speak an opening prayer (in Arabic, German and English - because he happened to know at least some of all three languages) and then a scripture reading, worship songs (one we sung in all three languages), another scripture reading, a short sermon (around 10-15 minutes) and then the vows (we chose to repeat after the officiant and did classic vows since English is not the first language for either of us), ring exchange and a kiss. Then two close friends came up on stage and prayed for us. We went back to our seats and watched a short video from my parents and siblings and then The Lord's prayer sung by two of my friends in Germany in my husbands language. Then we were announced as husband and wife and left the church. I loved all of it. It was christ-centered and not centered on us. It included important friends and family and both of our languages and english. It was very special and moving and the sermon was great.

A ceremony in Germany probably would have been similar.

Traditionally there are flower girls but no bridesmaids/groomsmen and traditionally the couple walks down the aisle together. Though I have seen a lot of couples were the father of the bride walks her down the aisle. In every German wedding I have been to, the couple sits on chairs in the first row. Chairs are decorated. They go up on stage or infront for the vows. When I first found out that in American ceremonies the couple stands up in front for the entire ceremony I was horrified and I am glad we did it different. But then of course our ceremony was also much longer than most American ceremonies and it is really more like a church service it is even called a "Traugottesdienst" - which means 'wedding - service' - not ceremony.

Usually the couple specifies with the pastor/priest how they want their service but usually it includes a welcome, hymns/worship songs, scripture reading, prayer, a sermon (often including details about the couple), offering and of course the vows, ring exchange and kiss. Often couples have close friends/family do the readings and prayers. Sometimes after the vows someone sings a song (I have seen a groom singing a special song to his bride or friends or professional singers - but definitely not a must).

The one thing that we missed in our ceremonyis a marriage verse. Usually in Germany the couple picks or is given a bible verse as their marriage verse. The sermon often is around this verse. The verse is written on the church marriage certificate. (We have the same for baptism)

One thing that is probably really important to know is that in Germany you can only have a religious ceremony after you had the civil ceremony at the registrar office. In Germany to be legally married you have to have the civil ceremony. For some people that's all they do. For people who want to have a religious ceremony they have their civil ceremony usually a day or a week before. Sometimes even earlier.

Haha. I feel I haven't answered any of your questions except the first one.

What do u consider a key feature of a German religious wedding and was it included in your wedding in the U.S?

Not sure about the key feature. Comparing it to US weddings I would say a key feature is that it is not a ceremony but a church service. We did that in our US wedding and loved it. That probably includes that the couple and the bridal party are not standing in the front the entire time. I know catholic weddings here in the US are similar. And I don't know much about religious weddings in Germany other than protestant/evangelical christian weddings. I also love that the whole congregation is invited and in small towns neighbours and so on and it is totally okay to have people come only to the ceremony not the reception and nobody is offended. I love the tradition of serving cake and coffee after the ceremony to everyone who came and have the reception later in the day with only family and friends. I was sad I could not do that. Another huge difference is that a religious ceremony never is a legal wedding in Germany, you always need to go to the registrar office.

What would you change! Or do not like about a typical wedding in your culture?

Nothing.

View Quoted Comment I have been to one but it was rather laid back..

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This is perfect thank you so much.