Wedding planned before engagement

Not to be rude but if that is where you both know you are headed then why are you in such a rush to announce it? I personally think that you should take your time before planning a huge wedding and stressing out because of what your family is saying. You are robbing yourself of a precious memory of his proposal by talking it down. I agree that a ring isn’t a must have but being proposed to is something that every girl should experience and rushing to plan a wedding isn’t a reason for missing out on it.

A ring is not needed. My boss has been married for 30 years and she never had a ring because she felt it was a symbol of oppression. I don't feel the same way, but I respect her ideas. If you don't feel that a ring has any meaning to you and your FH, then you will be just as engaged and just as married when the day comes. Go ahead and plan your wedding. People will eventually get over it or just not come to the wedding. Either way, I wish you and your FH the best.

I just don't see the importance of a ring, simple.

Wait for the ring.

I have no need for "the ring". We love each other and we're set on that. I don't need an 8,000 dollar rock to know that he loves me. If others need it, that's fine, but I don't.

Many years ago, I was in a serious relationship with a guy. We planned on getting married - so much that I looked at dresses and he was scoping out venues. However, I was abruptly dumped (a week after he said he found an officiant he liked).

So when my husband started talking about marriage, I didn't plan a damn thing until I had the ring.

Maybe it's stories like mine that probably make your relatives not take your engagement seriously. I also probably wouldn't take you that seriously until the proposal. Rings have been engraved in all of our modern-day heads that many can't fathom being engaged without them. Maybe they're not negative, but more concerned.

However, you know your relationship - and so if you're sure it's going to happen, then go ahead and plan. Good luck to you!

Doesn't have to be a ring but has he ever (or have you ever) asked you to marry him? I think the ring makes it "official" but a proposal without a ring can do that too.

We started planning and telling some people almost a year before we purchased a ring. Ring doesn't matter. If you know you're doing it, you're doing it. Nobody bailed. The extra time before the ring gave us time to enough to get all the venues and vendors we wanted and still keep the date we wanted.

And a ring doesn't guarantee he's more or less serious than without a ring. It's just a ring. Feel free to get started.

The ring is not important. The proposal is important. At least wait for that, or try to give him hints or just ask him yourself!

Also, there's no "rule" that your ring has to put your FH or you in debt by buying a fancy name-brand diamond ring . It can be a simple less expensive non-name brand ring. And it will be better since it won't look like every other woman's ring. You can also have an "engagement necklace, bracelet or some other keepsake you like'.

What Snitz said. The ring doesn't have to be crazy expensive, it could be a simple promise ring used as an engagement ring. But yes the ring doesn't really matter, but a proposal I think does.

A proposal doesn't have to involve a ring. He can get down on one knee and ask you to marry him without one. For those saying he can buy a cheap ring; if a ring means nothing to either of them then what is the point? I do think the proposal is an important part - everyone should feel as special as I felt the moment he got down on one knee for me. But honestly after he proposed he had to remind me to take the ring, I totally forgot about it lol.

Maybe your family would feel better if you could tell them how he proposed. And if he hasn't, if it were me, I wouldn't plan a wedding until he had proposed (with or without a ring).

I also think the proposal (not the ring) matters. I too have wedding planned with a guy who also thought we'd eventually marry. Guess what? We didn't. There's one thing to say "Oh, I want this at my wedding", and another to say "Will you marry me?" That's the statement of forever. I think your family is waiting for that commitment, because if he's ready for it, why delay? No one needs a $8k ring (I honestly would be happy with a $50 ring), it's that moment when he asks you to be his forever and commits to it. Until then, it's just talking about what you like. We all do that, and it doesn't mean we're engaged.

My FH and I are not engaged yet, but we have been together for 8 years. We already have the date set and venue booked. Our family just expects it will happen at some point. FH doesn't want to propose until I graduate from college (which is 1 month away!!!). I'm fine with that as long as it happens. I started planning because I didn't want our venue to book up and have to wait any longer than a year. I say start planning...Just make sure that he does actually propose. The ring doesn't matter, but you or him still need to pop the question.

You consider or count yourselves engaged, but has the man you love actually asked you to be his wife? My fiancé and I have lived together 3 years and we are committed to each other as if we are married and we legally own a home together, but I did not consider us married and I was not engaged until he proposed whether there was a ring or not.

If you have both decided you are getting married, you both want a date set, and he's just waiting for the right moment to propose with a ring, I think it's okay to announce to people that you are engaged. You can announce on a specific day and say something like "Well it has been decided we are officially getting married on such and such date!" But be prepared for people to ask how he proposed, if they do I'd just say something like "It was a mutual decision to get married so there wasn't really a proposal, but we're excited to be planning our wedding!" Not everyone has a grand proposal, it was sort of an agreement with my parents, my dad never really actually proposed.

However, I started putting ideas together long before our proposal. I didn't book a venue or anything, but you can probably just plan, don't really let people know, then when the actual proposal comes (whether there is a ring or not) then you can tell people then. I think you can still keep it a surprise!

If you have both agreed to get married, you're engaged. Congrats! You're right, a ring is a formality and if you don't want one fine. All a proposal is is a couple fancily agreeing to marry. Sounds like youre already there.

Yeah........

We had discussed marriage and knew we were getting married at some point. Mutually we decided we wanted to keep our anniversary whenever we got marroed so we knew we would get married on NYE/New Year's. We started looking at rings together because he decided he didn't want to choose it on his own. After 6 monhe of looking at rings here and there, we chose a ring. I knew it was coming and we discussed it would be this year for the wedding instead of waiting an additional year for our date. I went to look at dress to get an idea of what looked best and accidently found THE dress. I double checked with him about the year we would be getting married in because the dress was on sale and I didn't want to miss out on saving money. So my dress was picked out before the ring was on my finger, but the ring had been bought. No vendors were booked until it was official with the ring and proposal.

To me a ring don't validate a relationship. Some people however don't take an engagement seriously if there is no ring on the womans finger. I think it's really no ones place to judge-everyone has different situtations and can't always afford a ring as soon as they would like. As long as YOU and your FIANCE know you will be getting married is all that really matters. I been engaged forever (2.5 years) and JUST started to plan the wedding. Some family/friends aren't really turning their heads if we mention we are now planning, which is why I only told VERY FEW people that we officially hired a planner and we soon have our date locked in. I just wouldn't talk to anyone about it, but your fiance and your venues and vendors (as you venture into planning) and then no one will be able to bother you with their opinions. When you have your ring and have that STD or invite in the mail then people will realize you two are serious and either choose to be happy and attend your festivities or decline. Either way a ring IMO is just a tradition to "to seal the deal". So, as I mentioned already just don't talk about it and that will eliminate the negativity.

Wait for the proposal. Not the ring. If you don't care about a ring that's great. But until one of you officially asks the other, and gets a yes response, your not engaged. At this point it just sounds like you are talking about things that you would like in your wedding, but not specifically your wedding to each other at this point in time (if no one has proposed yet). I talked about weddings and what I wanted with passed significant others... but we're not getting married.

You can look at ideas and maybe plan a little that way, but I wouldn't start putting down any deposits. If something goes wrong, you'll have lost a lot of money.