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Just Said Yes June 2015

Wedding planned before engagement

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lolaloo, on November 3, 2014 at 5:58 PM

Posted in Planning 23

Hi everyone My fiance and I are getting married in spring 2016. We have been together for 3 years and we've known since day 1 that marriage was where we were headed. We are setting the official date this weekend and we're very excited! We love each other completely and we count ourselves as...

Hi everyone

My fiance and I are getting married in spring 2016. We have been together for 3 years and we've known since day 1 that marriage was where we were headed. We are setting the official date this weekend and we're very excited!

We love each other completely and we count ourselves as engaged. He plans on "officially proposing" with a ring soon, but the ring isn't important to me. We know we want to spend our lives together- and sadly certain family members and friends aren't taking our relationship seriously because apparently love is only valid if there's a ring involved. I'm hurt by this honestly.....yes, this is unconventional, but we're unconventional people lol. I don't think a ring means anything- my mom was engaged for 15 years and they never seriously put any thought into a wedding and ended up breaking up. I wish people could stop being so negative....a ring won't make our love for each other any stronger or validate it. I just needed to vent as I really don't have any friends to discuss this with. ...so thanks for listening please no negative comments.

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23 Comments

Master January 2015
Janeen · on November 4, 2014 at 8:10 AM
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I think what your family members think when they see "ring" is that a ring implies that someone put some dollars behind his commitment. It's an "investment" in your relationship (pushed by debeers, yes, I know I know I know). So your family members may be thinking that he could very well be stringing you along (as EricaTx had happen to her). Perhaps if you guys took some steps toward a financial commitment together (renting a place together, buying a house together, putting down deposits on vendors whatever) your family will see that you're serious without feeding the diamond industry.
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Master July 2015
annakay511 · on November 4, 2014 at 8:30 AM
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I just don't know why, if it's not that important and you're already picking a wedding date, he hadn't just bought a ring and proposed? If it's about money- you definitely shouldn't plan a wedding if you can't afford at least a simple e-ring
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Master October 2015
Pancakes · on November 4, 2014 at 8:41 AM
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I know a ring isn't important to you, but you can't avoid people's reactions to not having a ring. I would react the same way if I knew you. I suggest just having him get you a small right hand ring that is maybe $50 or so, that you can wear on your left hand as an engagement ring. That way it will put everyone at ease that you are more serious and you don't have to break the bank. Everyone wins.
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