I actually never really heard of it until someone mentioned it to me right before my wedding. i didn't do it. BUT when my husband's shirt got ripped off his friend threw some ones at him ahah. went home with an extra... 6 dollars that day xD
My relatives used to do it at all of their weddings years ago. Guests take turns dancing with the bride and groom and hey pay a dollar per dance. Someone holds the money for them. They typically use it to help pay for their honeymoon. I haven’t seen it done in awhile.
I loathe the money dance. I think it's a tacky money grab that makes everyone uncomfortable and unless it's an actual part of your culture (Polish, Mexican (occasionally)) it has no place at a wedding. Unfortunately, I lost this fight to my Mexican FH. However, since I am vehemently against it, I will not participate while he does his money dance. I'm toying with the idea of leaving a card with the historical significance of the dance in the Mexican culture so our guests who are not familiar with its origins are not offended (though there is zero expectation for anyone to participate in the dance). I'm hoping we can keep it very short and move on to the rest of the evening.
My family is polish and the dollar dance is at every wedding, like it or not. It’s danced to a polka and the bride wears a babushka or a scarf over her head. For my family it’s more about the one on one time for guests that get to dance with the bride for a few seconds the it is about the money. No one makes it rain at the couple tho. You pay the maid of honor a dollar to dance with the bride. Everyone lines up after the dance and the the husband has to “fight” his way to the bride. It’s a little “pimp my bride” but traditions are traditions.
Dedicated
November 2020
__ ·
Flag
Hide content
I’m Mexican and the dollar dance has been done at every wedding I’ve ever attended, except for the Italian wedding I was in. It’s just fun and I don’t see why anyone should be offended by it or think it’s tacky. I think it’s tacky to be rude about other people’s cultural traditions, but that’s just me lol. If people don’t want to participate or don’t have money to do so, they don’t have to. It’s a voluntary thing and everyone enjoys it and has a great time with it. You take the money and usually there are little pins or someone to collect the money and you pin it to their dress or suit or give it to the person and have a little dance with your choice of the bride or groom.
View Quoted Comment
You are going to ignore this part of your fh culture because it makes you uncomfortable? As a Hispanic I would strongly advise against this. You may end up offending his family/extended family due to not being willing to acclimate to the culture behind it. While I do understand your thoughts on it it’s just a little tidbit. Culture is extremely important to Hispanics.
View Quoted Comment
I agree with this fully. Culture should be respected no matter the circumstances. We won’t be doing it at our Hispanic wedding but that is because my Hispanic family will not be able to attend due to distance and time of year. I love how you worded your explanation though
I've heard of it and even seen it, it's specific to certain cultures. DH is Italian-American, and it is often done in Italian weddings, but both of us really didn't want to...
View Quoted Comment
In short answer? Yes. I have talked about this already with my FH and his family. I understand it’s a cultural thing, but it still makes me uncomfortable. It will be there for my FH and his family that wants to participate, but I will not be given money to dance with guests. The dollar dance offends my family. So no matter what, someone will be offended. Bullfighting is a cultural thing as well, so should I embrace that even though I disagree with it? I understand it’s not the same equivalence, but why should I have to give in to something I am not comfortable doing? I also disagree with honeyfunds, cake smashes, cash bars, and anything else that asks your guests to pay for something at your wedding, regardless of whether it’s optional or not.
Here's where I have an issue with it (other than I think asking your guests to open their wallets at your wedding for any reason is tacky). Do you know the significance behind the money dance in the Mexican culture? I asked my FH's family when it was first brought up and the only reasons they gave me were "It's been done at all of our weddings", "It's fun", and "You get lots of money". To me, the cultural significance is no longer there. Just because something is tradition doesn't mean it needs to be continued. It's traditional for the groom to stand on the right side because it was easier for him to unsheathe his sword if someone came to take the bride. Today, our grooms don't wear swords (a few circumstances (military, etc.) may defy this generalization) and many brides choose to stand on the right (including me). When I have to go do my own research to tell you what the dance means to your culture, it has lost all cultural significance and you're doing it just for the sake of tradition. Since I don't believe in doing things just because it's traditional, I don't see the reason behind it. Like I said, I will not stop him from doing the money dance if he chooses, but also like you stated, I don't have to participate if I don't want to; it's a voluntary thing.
Dedicated
November 2020
__ ·
Flag
Hide content
View Quoted Comment
You seem like you’re fun at parties lol. I had a whole response typed out, but then realized you’re not worth it, so I hope your FH and his family have a great time with their money/dollar dance. Gracias, adios!
Dedicated
November 2020
__ ·
Flag
Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you! Yes, I agree it’s a way of showing respect to the people by showing respect to the culture. Especially to a cultural dance that is filled with love and the best intentions, but some people can’t see past the money part to enjoy the fun. That’s fine, they’re the ones missing out. We probably won’t be doing it either for the same reasons! Both FH and I are Hispanic, so it was on the table, but his family is from out of state and our wedding will be around the holidays, so we’re deciding not to.